


Impossible Love

by Smol_Kitty_Yura



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Drama, Drarry, F/M, M/M, Other, Paranormal, Romance, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 22:04:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 63,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6257659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smol_Kitty_Yura/pseuds/Smol_Kitty_Yura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco Malfoy must repeat his 7th year at Hogwarts along with the Gryffindor dream team. After having lost both his parents and Severus Snape now his guardian he is desperately hoping for this year to be different than past years. Who will Draco need saving from?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoy this story. I have put a lot of thought and effort into it. Thank you to everyone who reads it, leaves kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated.  
> Thanks again and enjoy =)

**Draco POV**

I'm standing in the emerald bathroom of my room in Slytherin house, staring at the stranger in the mirror. "I... the _great_ Draco Malfoy... have disgraced the _great_ Malfoy name once again." I think to myself out loud. "I fail time and time again to beat Potter at Quidditch, I failed to kill him with the basilisk in the chamber of secrets, I couldn't even stop him from getting to the ministry to get the prophecy and..." I continued to stare at the stranger, that is me, in the mirror. I suddenly feel the heat of tears building in my eyes. In an attempt to stop the tears from falling I place one hand on the side of the sink to hold myself steady. While bringing my other arm up to my eyes to try and prevent the damn from breaking.

I couldn't even kill Dumbledore, which in turn forced Snape to. And here's the real cherry on top. When the war was going on I ran away and hid. Even after Potter saved my life in the room of requirement. If my parents had not died in the war _at Voldemort's_ hand, they would be beating me senseless because of my insolence. I am a weak, cowardly failure.

Now here I am back at Hogwarts to repeat my final year along with the insufferable Gryffindor dream team. "Things couldn't possibly get any better." I say sarcastically. For the first time in my life I'm at the bottom of the social food chain as the _Failed Slytherin Prince_. If ever someone lived up to their title, I did. Not only that, but because of the years of crap I dished out to other students... I can only expect to receive it back. I can honestly say from here on out, my life is going to suck. Not that it was any better before. As a Slytherin everyone always expects the worst of you. And growing up with death eaters wasn't exactly privileged, even with the Malfoy fortune. It's true that money doesn't buy happiness. It just helps to cover the pain and misery behind closed doors.

Suddenly my stomach rumbles reminding me it's time for breakfast. No matter how much I don't want to, I guess I have to face them sooner or later. I can only hope I won't be sitting alone as no one wanted to share a dorm with me. Although I can't say I am surprised , given the reputation I've earned myself. I let out a huge sigh as I begin to leave, I don't even care to check for any traces of tears in my eyes in the mirror as I leave my room to go to breakfast. The whole school already thinks the worst of me, so what does it matter.

**Harry POV**

"Harry, hurry up would you. I'm bloody starving." Ron moans at me through the bathroom door.

I poke my head out. "All of this..." I reply, pointing to my head and torso, "Takes time."

"But why? It's not like you have anyone to look good for now that you and Ginny are no longer together. Which by the way you still haven't told me what happened between you two."

"That's because Ron like I've told you a dozen times before I don't want to talk about it. Besides who said I was doing this to look good for anyone, I'm doing it for me." I say, feeling good about myself.

"Okay. You look beautiful, can we go now? You can finish putting on your make-up after breakfast."

"Fine." I snap, throwing on my robe as I follow Ron out the door. "And I don't wear make-up." I huff.

As soon as we reach the Great Hall and sit down Ron begins building a mountain of food on his plate as Hermione leans into us.

"Where were you two? You barely made it in time to get any food and they'll be announcing the new potions and defense against the dark arts professors soon." She says, in her matter-of-fact tone.

"Sorry Hermione." Ron answers, in between mouthfuls of toast. "Princess here was taking his time to put on his make-up."

"I told you I don't wear make-up!" I snap, feeling very annoyed at Ron's persistence to call me a girl. As I continue to huff I decide to look around the Great Hall from my seat. It doesn't take long for me to notice Ginny and Neville holding hands, and laughing together. I really am glad she's moved on and that she is happy, but does she have to rub it in my face?

Hermione follows my gaze noticing my sad eyes. "Harry, what happened that night?" She asks, wanting to make things better. "If you told us maybe we could help."

I look her in the eyes, the annoyance fading into tiredness from avoiding the question I so desperately do not want to answer. "I really don't want to talk about it, Hermione. Please just leave it alone." I say calmly.

"Okay." She replies with the same calmness.

That's when I spot Draco Malfoy finally making his way into the hall. He certainly took his time. I suppose I'm one to talk with all my primping in the bathroom this morning. When I look closer at Draco, it looks like he's been crying. I suppose he has lost everything so it makes sense, but before I get the chance to think any more on it Head Mistress McGonagall stands to make an announcement.

McGonagall clears her throat, "Eh hum. Quiet please." She waits for the hall to silence before continuing, "I would like to welcome our new potions professor. Please all put your hands together for Professor Remus Lupin. I trust that you all know him and that you will all show him the same respect you show your other professors. And can you all welcome back Professor Severus Snape taking back his post teaching defense against the dark arts."

"Snape is back? Can you believe it?" Hermione asks, pleasantly surprised.

"No." I say, in astonishment.

"I know mate. First Lupin teaching potions now Snape is back teaching defense against the dark arts. It's bloody brilliant." Ron says, in agreement with Hermione.

After his sacrifice in the war Snape is now considered something of a hero. So naturally everyone is happy to see him back. "Yeah I thought Snape was dead, I saw him die. We all did." I state, in confusion.

"Obviously he survived, and why does it matter. Snape is alive and kicking, Remus has a job in the school, we're together, no more Voldemort threats. Even Draco Malfoy isn't going to be a bother now that Snape is officially his guardian, and making sure he stays out of trouble." The redhead tells.

"Yeah. I guess you're right." I turn my head and I see Draco sitting with Crabbe and Goyle. I over heard one of the Slytherins say that Draco got his own room because nobody wanted to share a room with him after everything that went down in the war. I'm kind of jealous that he has his own bedroom, but I also feel sorry for him. It must suck to have no one want to room with you, it must suck to be alone. Even now as I watch him talk and laugh with Crabbe and Goyle he looks sad. I can't believe how much things have changed.

**Draco POV**

I'm sitting here talking and pretending to laugh with Crabbe and Goyle. I can't help but feel lucky that they still want to sit near me let alone talk to me. Perhaps this year isn't going to be so bad after all.

Feeling bored at their same old rubbish discussion topics I look around the hall. Then it happens. Potter was looking right at me, and as I look back I can feel butterflies in my stomach. What the hell?

Being the Slytherin Prince I haven't really had much time for relationships, or crushes so I have no idea what is happening. Potter realizes I'm looking back and quickly brakes the connection. It's not like it means anything anyway, because I'm not gay. And the Gryffindor Golden Boy certainly isn't. He has girls falling over him left, right and center.

"Malfoy, are you alright?" Goyle asks me.

I shake my head and engage in the conversation. "No, I'm half left.” I reply, coldly. The large boy hisses at me in response. “Sorry, I just kind of got lost in my thoughts." I say, dismissively.

"Thinking of Pansy." Crabbe teases.

I play along. "You know it. What I'd give to get some of that." I feel like a douche saying that. Pansy is my best friend, she is like the sister I never had and I would never objectify her like that.

"What did you get up to all summer, Malfoy?" Crabbe and Goyle ask in unison, as though I have something to tell.

"What do you think." I snap, bitterly. "I attended something of a funeral for my parents, I moved in with Snape and spent all summer trying to avoid him."

"Shit one." Crabbe states.

Goyle continues, "Must suck to have a professor as your guardian, having to babysit you."

And Goyle wins the award for the most obvious statement. "It's worse than that. Snape is my Godfather." I say, suddenly feeling anxious. "Look, I'm just going to my room to get my books for class. See you guys later." I say rushing out of the hall without giving Crabbe and Goyle a chance to reply.

 


	2. Hiding Secrets

**Harry POV**

I couldn't help but stare at Draco. There was something about him, something different about him. Although I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Oh no! He's staring back at me now. I quickly turn my head, breaking the connection and hoping my cheeks aren't really as hot as they feel. I can't really be blushing because Draco Malfoy looked at me. Can I? No, it's just the tea heating me up. Yeah. That's it.

I turn to face Ron and Hermione. Ron is staring up at me with puppy-dog eyes. "What is it?" I ask, my voice filled with suspicion.

"Come on Harry. You clearly still have goo goo eyes for Ginny. You keep staring at her and Neville, you're always spacing out and now you're blushing. We're your best friends. If you can't tell us what happened who can you tell?"

I look at him dead in the eyes. "You are so right Ron."

"Really? I am? Great! So what happened that night? You were fine when I left you two." Ron asks me sounding confident that he will get an answer out of me. And he will. Just not the answer he is hoping for.

"No one." I reply simply.

He gives me the most confused look I've ever seen. "Come again?"

"No one. If I can't tell my best friends what happened, I can't tell no one. Now could you please Ron... just shut up and let it go already." I say with more bite than I intended.

"Fine. Come on Hermione. We don't need him." Ron huffs before running out of the hall.

"Honestly Harry, you didn't need to be so rude. He's only worried about you. As am I. You haven't been the same since you and Ginny broke up. We just want to help." Hermione explains.

"Look I don't need Ron or you, or anybody else worrying about me. I'm a big boy I can take care of myself."

Hermione glares at me, "Fine. Deal with it alone and then let me know how that works out for you in couple days when your ready to behave more like a person." she then follows Ron out of the Great Hall.

"Nosey prats." I mumble to myself. Who does Hermione think she is telling me I'm not _behaving like a person_. They may be my best friends, but they don't have to know about every little thing that goes on in my life. I'm perfectly happy to have secrets from them.

On the other hand they were just trying to be good friends. I know they care and worry. I let out a long sigh. I just wish they would stop asking me about that night. I'm finding it hard enough to forget it.

_"So where are you taking me Mr Harry Potter? Ginny asked feeling excited._

_"You'll see. Now keep your eyes closed." I warned her. I guided her up the tower of stairs in the Weasly home. Minutes later we stopped. "Okay you can open your eyes."_

_Ginny gasped in awe. We were standing in her bedroom, but it had been completely transformed. The wooden walls were now wallpapered with red satin, the two single beds were now one king sized bed covered in rose petals, the creaky floorboards now beautifully lined with mahogany, candles light up about the room and right in front of us was a delicious looking dinner for two. "Oh Harry you didn't have to do all this. How did you do all this?"_

" _Oh you know just a simple decorating spell. It was nothing really." I replied modestly. "And Hermione helped me cook. I just wanted tonight to be special."_

_Ginny stared at me with a massive smile on her face. She walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the lips. "And it is special Harry. Thank you."_

No I can never tell them. It's too embarrassing.

Just then my gaze catches Draco Malfoy again, who is now standing up and running out of the hall. What's his problem? I wonder. So I decide to follow him.

I quickly, but swiftly slip through pupils, hiding behind pillars and corners. I follow him all the way down the dungeon staircase until I'm forced to stop at the Slytherin painting on the entrance door.

"Password?" The painting asks me.

"I... uh... never mind." I stammer. What's with me? Why was I following Draco Malfoy? Of all people, Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince. I think I need my head examined. I conclude as I start walking back up the staircase towards my own dorm.

**Draco POV**

I walk as quickly as I can to get to my room. I kind of feel as though someone is following me, but I have to get back to my room. I've completely run out my people tolerance for today and it's not even ten O'clock. As I eventually reach my room my robe snags on a nail sticking out of the door. Desperate to get away I sharply pull my arm free, accidentally cutting my arm in the process. Once in my room I decide to lock the door behind me. Even though I probably don't need to to get some privacy. I repair my robe with a simple spell and then I take it off, removing my shirt as well to get a better look at the cut.

Ouch. It may be a small cut but it hurts like hell. I didn't feel it at first but now I really do. Despite how much it hurts there's something strangely relieving about it.

So without thinking about it I walk into the bathroom, where I open the cabinet and grab my pack of spare razors. I don't even know why I have these as I never actually have to shave. I suppose I just wanted to seem some what normal, especially after everything that's happened after the war and having no say in carrying the Slytherin Prince title. That last thought makes my skin crawl to point where I feel the need to scratch my arm. More specifically my left arm where that stupid dark mark is located. I make my way out of the bathroom and I sit down on my bed.

What a horrible sight. I think as I stare at it on my arm. _The boy who had no choice._ I think to myself. If I could I would have never been a Malfoy. I mean I guess I did love my parents in some twisted way. In the midst of my father's physical beatings and my mother's verbal beatings I think they loved me. Did they love me? Did they even like me? Or was I simply a pawn in my father's game to gain favour with the dark lord.

Just then I feel something. Tears are falling onto my arm. Something inside me hurts so bad and being without my father's beatings I have nothing to counter act my inner turmoil. I have nothing.

 _That is because you are nothing._ A voice whispers. _Malfoys do not express emotions and they certainly do not cry. You are weak and a disappointment Draco. I will not have a weak son._ Great I'm hearing voices now. _I am unable beat you so you must punish yourself. You must punish yourself for being such a weak, disappointing excuse for a son._ I recognise the voice to be my father's, Lucius Malfoy. Even in his death I can't escape him. Not wanting to argue with my father's ghost I open the spare razor blades, and I take one into my hand. I bring it down to that stupid mark and I angrily make a cut. It hurts so much, but I'm not hurting inside any more. That is until an overwhelming wave of shame comes over me. It came just as instantly as the relief. It was so quick, but I feel myself aching to do it again. That's when I realise I'm hooked on the pain. "What the hell have I done?"

 


	3. Suspisious People

_**Harry POV** _

Oddly enough Draco wasn't in transfiguration class this morning and he has failed to show up for defence against the dark arts class as well. Not that Snape seemed to notice. He doesn't look even remotely bothered that Draco has ditched class.

I spend all of class _trying_ to focus on what Snape was teaching instead of the fact that his Godson was absent. From what I could take in Snape was saying something about demons and the different types, and how they can take the form of the dead, or something like that. Hermione was as always getting everything right. Ron was also doing surprisingly well in class. I guess him and Hermione dating is a good thing. Then again he probably doesn't get much of a choice whether to study or not on their study dates.

Finally class is over after what feels like an eternity and I didn't take anything in. Awe well I suppose I can copy from Hermione's book of notes. If she's still talking to me.

I still can't get my mind off Draco, so I decide to approach Snape. He should know what's wrong with him. I tell Ron and Hermione to go ahead to the Great Hall, but they ignore me. I guess they are still not talking to me.

I wait for the rest of the class to empty before approaching him. "Em... uh... Professor Snape sir, I wanted to ask you something?" I ask not really sure where to start.

"Yes, Potter. What is it?" He replies in his usual sharp tone.

I take a deep breath and say, "I don't know if you noticed but Draco Malfoy wasn't in class today..."

"Of course I noticed Draco's absence, now what is your question Mr Potter?"

"I think there's something wrong with him. I mean I know he lost both his parents last year and since he lives with you I figured if there is something wrong with him you would know so... Is everything okay with him?" I feel like I just upped a bad case of word vomit. But as I wait for Snape's reply I notice that there is something very strange about him, not to mention he smells strongly of mint and camomile. Talk about you're odd combination.

"No everything is not okay with Mr Malfoy. As you so perfectly pointed out he is now an orphan. And I do hope you are not suggesting that I don't know how to care for my Godson. Draco is as fine as he can be. If I recall you two are not exactly friends. Now run along Potter before you miss lunch." He finally replies.

"Okay. Thank you Sir." I say skeptically as I make my way out of his classroom.

I can't help but think about how weird that was. I guess almost dying messes with a persons head. The only reason I turned out semi-okay is because I was a baby so I don't remember it and I have great friends that have helped me cope. I still think it's strange how Snape survived without so much as a scratch. There isn't even a scar on his neck where Voldemort's snake bit him. Deciding I'm not going to stress about it any more I do as Snape says and go to lunch before it's over. It's then I realise I am actually pretty hungry.

When I get to the Great Hall Ron has already devoured what I think was his lunch. "Where do you put it all?" I ask him.

He ignores me and continues scoffing down a bowl of ice cream.

"I'm sorry for being a dick earlier." I apologise.

Ron study's my face. "Okay." He smiles. Well that was easy.

I sit down beside Ron and as I do I see Draco walking into the hall heading straight for a seat beside Crabbe and Goyle. I can't help but notice he looks a lot paler than he did this morning or what a beautiful shade of silver his eyes are.

"I guess Ginny isn't the only one who's moved on." Hermione buts in.

I didn't even know she was here. She must be using her time turner again. "How do you mean?" I ask curiously.

"You're obviously crushing hard on someone. The big question is who?" She was now looking deep into my eyes as though the answer lay behind them.

So I look back at her as intensely as she is at mine and say, "Hermione... I am crushing on _no one."_

And with that she leaves it alone and Ron is too busy making bubbles in his pumpkin juice to notice the conversation.

Am I really crushing on Draco Malfoy? No, not possible. Maybe one of the Ravenclaw girls. I should ask one of them out to get Ron and Hermione off my back.

" _Dinner was beautiful Harry. You really know how to make a girl feel special." Ginny said grinning ear to ear._

_I smiled back at her as she lead me to the bed. "Well tonight is a special night and I wanted it to be perfect. You deserve it."_

" _It's perfect as long as I'm with you." She replied before planting her lips on mine and lying me on the bed._

**Draco POV**

After my freak out in my room earlier. I decided I didn't want to face going to classes. So I just went up to the Astronomy Tower to think.

I really do love it up here. After everything that has happened up here students tend to avoid coming up, which makes this one of the only places I can be alone. There is my bedroom, but the air up here is much more peaceful. Not to mention it's the best spot to see the sunrise and sunset.

One of the perks of being alone and an outcast is I can disappear up here and no one will come looking for me because no one cares about the Fallen Slytherin Prince. Even my beloved Godfather Severus doesn't seem to acknowledge me. Since the war he has been acting very different. He's colder towards me. Sometimes he'll say something, I could swear was my father saying it. His words have a lot more bite to them. Over the summer he hit me on several occasions too. If I didn't know any better I would say he is Lucius. Despite everything that's changed, some things never do. Okay now I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I decide to go to lunch before I depress myself any more than I already am.

As I enter the Great Hall I hold my head up high as though nothing is wrong. I head straight for a seat beside Crabbe and Goyle. As I do they get up and sit at the other end of the table shooting me a look of disgust as they do.

I guess I will be completely alone. Just as I'm thinking I should leave, Pansy parks herself beside me.

"I'm so glad to see you've left your room Dray. I know how you can get." She says hugging me. "So why did you skip classes this morning?"

I suddenly feel like I'm being interrogated "Oh you know just didn't feel like going. Did Snape say anything to you?" I ask hopefully.

"Actually he didn't notice at all. Guess that snake bite messed with his sixth sense. Crabbe and Goyle were messing about the entire class and Snape didn't give so much as glare. It was weird."

"Yeah he has been really different since the war. Something more must of happened, because he was different over the summer too." I think out loud.

"Was it as bad as being at your parent's house?" She asks.

"Actually it was weirdly the same as being at my parents."

"Well you know I'm here when you need to talk." She replies hugging me again. "Now let's eat some lunch I'm starving."

"I'm fine." I insist, "I'm still full from that piece of toast at breakfast." I didn't actually eat anything at breakfast but she doesn't push the matter so I'm happy. I just still feel kind of sick from loading up on junk at supper last night.

I find myself looking over at the Gryffindor table, and once again I can't keep my eyes off Potter. There's something about him this year that I really like. If only I had the balls to go talk to him, but after everything that's happened, where do I even begin?

 


	4. Impossible Friendships

**Draco POV**

The past few weeks have been weirdly incredible. The whole school more or less still hates and ignores me. Crabbe and Goyle keep glaring at me. I wonder what I did to make them so mad at me. But I still have Pansy so it's not so bad. Except for some reason the other day Blaise told her to stay away from me because I will ruin her reputation. He said it right in front of me obviously not caring what it would do to my feelings. So much for our friendship, but I know I can count on Pansy after she told him where to go _and_ Harry is speaking to me. Well it's only 'hello' in the halls but it's a step in the right direction. But for some reason I have a desire to be friends with Potter. The trauma of the war must have changed more than just Snape, because before the thought of being friends with Harry Potter would have made my blood boil.

Anyway once again I am walking down the hallway to get to class. I have defence against the dark arts with my dear old Godfather. As always people are shoving me and calling me names, something I am now numb to. Then I see that dark haired boy with glasses. My heart kind of flutters but I ignore it and walk straight for him. I grab him by the arm and drag him into an empty classroom.

"Shit Malfoy. What did you do that for?" Harry hisses looking very annoyed.

I look around to make sure that we are alone. "Potter? I was wondering if it was possible that we could put all our feuds in the past. You know, turn over a new leaf." I ask hoping he doesn't laugh in my face.

Harry's face softens. "Are you asking to be friends?" He asks with a stupid grin on his face.

"Yes Potter, I want to be friends." I say quickly although I don't really know why my hurry.

Potter considers my proposal and after what feels like forever he finally gives me an answer.

"Yes." I can feel my heart build with such happiness, I can't believe it. "On one condition." And there it is.

"What?" I say sounding more disappointed than I wanted to.

"You have got to stop addressing me as _Potter._ Just call me Harry." He replies kindly.

"I think I can do that." I say.

Then Harry holds his hand out to be shaken. I'm confused as to why, but I go along with it and shake his hand. "Hello, I'm Harry."

Now understanding it, I reply. "Hi, I'm Draco. It's nice to meet you Harry."

"And it's nice to meet you too Draco." He smiles.

I return his smile with the same stupid grin he gave me earlier. I turn to walk out of the classroom when Harry grabs my wrist, making me wince, and swings me around into his arms for a hug. I honestly can't remember the last time I received a hug like this other than Pansy's bombardment of them but she's a girl it's different. It surfaced so many emotions that I don't think I've ever felt before. I had already concluded that my heart is now stone. I could feel tears threatening to fall. When Harry eventually releases me from the hug I can't help but ask, "What was that for?"

"We are friends now and you just looked like you needed a hug." He smiles.

His smile does not get old. I don't want this new atmosphere to go away. Which I know will happen when we go our separate ways. "Hey, would you like to hang out up at the Astronomy Tower? No one goes up there so you don't have to worry about anyone seeing you hanging out with me."

"Sure. See you at the Astronomy Tower at nine."

"See you then."

"It's a date." Harry says before rushing out to class.

Did he just say it was a date? I hope he doesn't think I'm gay. That would be a headline if I ever saw one for the school newspaper. 'LAST REMAINING MALFOY'S GAYNESS BRINGS SHAME TO FAMILY NAME' I blink my eyes allowing the surfaced tears to fall so that I can wipe them away and save face.

Maybe he said it by mistake after all I did make him pretty late for class. I brush it off and head for class myself. I would skip but I'm afraid of Snape's wrath if I do again. I have always thought Snape was one of the scariest teachers in school but since the war he has been a real push over in class. Well to every other student, I receive no such grace what so ever.

**Harry POV**

So Draco Malfoy surprised me in the hallway earlier. I'm heading for potions class with Professor Lupin, when he grabs my arm and pulls me into an empty classroom. I couldn't help but cuss at him, the annoyance was probably clear as day on my face. Turns out he just wanted to ask if we could be friends. I am not sure why but I found that adorably sweet. He also looked really nervous about asking, which just made the silver eyed boy look that much more adorable. Probably not a word I should be using to describe another guy, but as long as no one hears me say it out loud I'm fine. Besides I have my eye on one of the Ravenclaw girls. I think.

It wasn't hard to see that all Draco wanted was a new start and I can't say that I blame him. And honestly I really do want to build a bridge and be friends. I like the new Draco I just wish it all had happened a lot sooner. After I gave him the okay he turned to leave, but my heart was so filled with compassion I couldn't let him leave with out giving him a hug. So I grabbed his wrist, like he did with my arm. I saw him wince probably and injury from being pushed about in the halls. Regardless I continued to pull him into my arms. Within seconds his naturally tense physic relaxed. A few minutes later I released him from the hug. He was obviously confused so I just told him the truth, that I thought he needed it. Judging by how much he relaxed in my arms and the glaze of his eyes proved he did need it.

He asked me to hang out at the Astronomy Tower, well actually his exact words were _'Hey, would you like to hang out up at the Astronomy Tower? No one goes up there so you don't have to worry about anyone seeing you hanging out with me.'_ It kind of hurts that he thinks I'm that shallow. What's even worse is I think he truly believes people are ashamed to be seen with him. But of course I said I would. It'll be a great opportunity to get to know this new Draco.

But... as I was rushing out the door to get to class I shouted back to him _'It's a date'_. Granted it was a slip because I was in a hurry, but still.

"Harry Potter... Mr Potter." Lupin called.

"Sorry. What was the question?" I ask slightly dazed.

"What are the primary ingredients for polyjuice potion?"

"I... uh... a bit of hair from the person you want to temporarily become." I answer with a guilty smile.

"That is one of them yes, but it is also the most commonly known. As the purpose of polyjuice potion is to become someone else. 5 points from Gryffindor for Mr Potter's lack of concentration."

After he moves onto someone else and according to the clock on the wall it's only 2:43pm.

"You alright mate. You've been distracted all of class and you were late." Ron whispers.

"I had a run in with Draco Malfoy right before class." I reply honestly.

"What did he want? To start trouble again?"

"No actually he just wanted to ask if we could be friends."

Ron sniggers, "Really? What did you say? Please tell me you told him where to stick it."

"No. I said yes." I calmly reply.

"You what? Are you crazy? You said yes to being friends with Draco Malfoy, the _Fallen_ Slytherin Prince and the person who made our lives a living hell for seven years. There's so much sticky history."

"Exactly. I just want to move on from all that and leave it in the past where it belongs."

"Fine." Ron moans, "But does that mean I have to sit with him too."

"No but it does mean you have to be civil. He gets enough shit from the rest of the school."

Ron nods in agreement and leaves the conversation there. I have to say I'm proud that he is being somewhat supportive of my new friendship with Draco. I can't wait until later. Is it weird I'm so excited? This might actually be a great year.

 


	5. Two-Faced Encounters

**Draco POV**

I cannot wait to meet Harry later. I know it was a bit forward inviting him to the Astronomy Tower, but we are friends now and that way we can hang out, without damaging his reputation as the Golden Boy. I can't believe I actually have more than one friend now. I didn't think it was possible but I think I'm happy. Happier than I was at start of the year at least.

Anyway I am now in my last class before dinner. Unfortunately it's defence against the dark arts with my beloved Godfather Snape. Fortunately it's over in like 5 minutes.

“I would like you all to write a 500 word essay on the dangers of possessive spirits to be handed in next week. That should be plenty of time for your small minds to accomplish this simple task.” Snape tells the class in his usual tone.

As I follow the other students out the door Snape asks me to stay back to have a chat. Knowing I don't have much of a choice and fearing his fist, I obey.

“How are you Draco?” My Godfather asks, with more sincerity than I knew he had.

I look at the ground and answer, “I'm okay, I guess.”

“I've noticed you haven't been in my classes of late.”

“You noticed?” I say looking back up at him in astonishment. I honestly thought he didn't care. It's kind of hard to imagine someone that beats you actually cares. Then again that was my father's favourite excuse for beating me.

_"Stop crying insolent boy." My father ordered giving me a final punch, knocking me to the floor in the process. I looked up at his cruel face, as paralysing fear welled up inside me. I knew what was coming next. The monster pointed his wand at me and said, "I am only doing this because I care about you Draco. This will make you stronger and less of a disappointment." I braced myself. "Crucio!"_

“Of course I noticed. You are my Godson. I do care about you.” Snape replies tenderly, bringing me out of my flashback. “Now tell me what's been troubling you?”

I look at the floor again. “Well aside from the fact I'm an orphan. When I walk the halls I'm constantly shoved and called names, Pansy is my only friend and my father's ghost hangs over me like a dark cloud. But apart from all of that, everything is grand.”

Snape looks at me with sad eyes. “How have you been coping with all this?” He asks, his voice full of concern.

“Oh you know I have my ways.” I reply hoping he doesn't push the matter.

“Can I look at your arm Draco? The one with the mark on it.”

“No!” I snap holding my arm to my chest.

“I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Give me your arm.” Snape's face stern. I know I can't escape it. He takes my arm and rolls up my sleeve exposing several relatively fresh cuts on the mark. Snape then reaches in his pocket for something and as he does I can't help but flinch. He clearly sees my flinch but proceeds to pull out his wand. He says a healing incantation, then puts his wand away again. “That should help. Next time you feel like doing this come and talk to me. Now run along and get some dinner.

As I head out the door towards the Great Hall, I can't help but think how weird that was. How did he know to check my arm and I never knew Snape could be so caring. Talk about your drastic personality change.

I stop just before the hall and decide to go to my room instead. I make my way down the dungeon stairwell, recite the Slytherin password and walk straight for my room. I open my door and am suddenly shoved inside, with the door locking behind my violent visitor. Naturally I cover myself with my arms in a defensive position.

“Dray chill out. It's just me.” Pansy reassures me.

“You didn't have to be so violent. Anyway what do you want?” I ask trying to compose myself.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I don't know my own strength. Anyway I saw you talking to Potter earlier. Actually I saw you drag him by his arm to talk to him.”

“What about it?”

“Okay maybe I wasn't clear. Why were you talking to Potter?” She asks.

I'm starting to think we're back to that interrogation. “Look I'm sick of all the drama. So I pulled Harry aside to ask if we could forget the past and be friends and he agreed.” I say feeling a smile making it's way across my face and I think Pansy can see it too, because returns it.

Again she wraps her arms around me giving me a hug. “I'm so happy for you Dray.” She replies, breaking the hug. “I'm sorry. I'm just proud you're doing what your father never would.”

“Like that's something to be proud of. If my father were hear he would beating me till I bleed for befriending Potter.”

“I thought it was Harry now. And Lucius Malfoy is six feet under, he can't touch you. I'm proud of you because you are a far better man than he ever was. Your loyal to your friends, your smart, kind, talented and completely adorable.” She answers tenderly.

“Okay well, I'm meeting Harry on top of the Astronomy Tower later and I need to get a shower.”

“Alright. I'll sneak back later so you can tell me how it went.”

“You do know we are only friends right? It's not a date. I like girls.” I urge trying to convince myself more than her that it's true.

“I know Dray.” She responds as she walks out the door.

It's not a date. I like girls. I repeat to myself really hoping it's true.

**Harry POV**

Finally it's nine O'clock and I am making my way under my cloak of invisibility to the astronomy tower. As I round the top of the stairwell I see Draco sitting near the edge. “Hi.” I say walking over to sit beside him.

“Hey, How's it going?” He asks weakly.

“Things are good. How are you?” I reply.

“As good as I can be.”

Wow. I really thought we'd have more to talk about. It's almost as awkward as that night with Ginny.

“ _Tonight is perfect.” Ginny said in between snogs. She stopped to take off her top. I took mine off too. We snogged for another ten minutes or so when Ginny stopped again. This time removing her bra and jeans. Once again I followed her lead and slip off my jeans as well. She climbed on top of me and bit her lip. “Am I making you hot?” She whispered, placing her hand over the flaccid bulge in my boxers._

“ _Yes.” I lied in response. Returns to kissing her, but instead of keeping to my lips she moved her kisses gradually down my body. She paused at the rim of my boxers and proceeded to take them off._

_She gave me a disappointed stare. “What's wrong?”_

“ _It's my first time, maybe it takes a while.” I hoped._

“ _Okay.” She replied, apparently buying it. And once again we were snogging. Although this time she was stroking my dick. Both of us hoped it would become hard. Unfortunately for me it didn't seem to be happening._

_It didn't take Ginny long to figure out as well that it wasn't going to happen. She climbed off me and started getting dressed. She threw me my clothes, therefore I did the same. Once we were both dressed she sat me on the bed._

“ _Is it me? Am I the problem?” She asked, sounding like she was about to cry._

_I wrapped her up in a hug. “Of course not. You're so beautiful Ginny.”_

“ _Then are you gay?”_

“ _I don't think so.”_

_She broke the hug. “Then what is wrong?” She pleaded._

_I didn't know how to respond because I genuinely didn't know what was wrong. “I don't know.” I concluded._

“Harry, you're as pale as well... me. what's wrong?” Draco asks with worried eyes.

Again with that question. “Nothing. I was just thinking of the night me and Ginny broke up.” I spill.

“Okay, so what happened?”

“I don't want to talk about it. It's too embarrassing. I haven't even told Ron and Hermione what happened.” I confess.

 


	6. Stolen Kisses

**Draco POV**

I can't believe I am hanging out with Harry Potter. Thank God my father can't see me now. He'd beat me senseless if he knew.

After a dead end conversation we just sat in silence. I really do love how peaceful it is up here. I look at Harry to see if he is enjoying the peace as much I am, but when I do I see Harry has gone as white as ghost. “Harry, you're as pale as well... me. What's wrong?” I ask slightly worried.

“Nothing. I was just thinking of the night me and Ginny broke up.” He replies.

“Okay, so what happened?” I ask, sincerely wanting to know.

“I don't want to talk about it. It's too embarrassing. I haven't even told Ron and Hermione what happened.” He confesses, trying to avoid my gaze.

I really want to know what happened, because despite our years of conflict I do care about the shaken up Gryffindor before me. Although I don't think I would ever admit that. I devise a way to get him to talk to me about it. “If I tell you something personal about me will you tell me what happened with the Weaslette?” Harry looks at me considering my proposal. He holds out his hand to accept and I shake it.

I look at my hands as I speak. “When my father was alive he used to beat me. If I cried, got a bad grade, lost a Quidditch match, pleaded to not receive the dark mark I would in return get a beating which would usually result in the torturing curse. I've never had a girlfriend and my only friend is Pansy, and now you.” I take a deep breath as I finish, feeling an itch at my arm. I scratch my itch and look up at Harry.

He looks at me tears running down his face. “Fuck.” He hisses. "I'm so sorry you went through all that."

"It's fine." I say. "You don't have to be sorry Potter. It's not like we choose our destiny."

Harry looks at me curiously with a question on his lips. "You really didn't want to take the dark mark?"

"No. I didn't want to be the Slytherin Prince either. If there's something wrong with someone in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw you all come along side one another to help. Slytherin's are only out for themselves." I tell beginning to choke on my words.

“Well a deal is a deal so here it goes." Harry begins, flashing me a weak smile. "Over the summer I set up this big dinner for me and Ginny. We planned to spend the night together for the first time, but...”

“But what?” I urge.

“You're going to laugh.”

“A deals a deal.” I throw back at him.

He takes a deep breath and then continues, “I couldn't preform... like sexually.”

After hearing it I can't help but laugh.

“This is why I didn't want to tell anyone!” Harry huffs at me.

I end up needing a few minutes to stop laughing. “I'm sorry, but I can't really talk. At least you've had a girlfriend."

"Why haven't you?" He asks me.

I think about this. "I don't know. I guess I just haven't found the right girl, I guess."

"What about Pansy?"

"She's my best friend and too much like my sister." I admit.

"Fair enough." Harry gives me a sad look. "I'm sorry you had no choice with all the Dark Lord stuff. It sucks that you never really had someone there for you in the past. But now that we're friends if you ever need to talk or you need support of any kind, I'm here.

“Thanks. That really does mean a lot." I reply, happy to have a new friend in the Gryffindor.

Harry smiles at me again causing my stomach to tie in knots. Damn that smile. I smile back. “I'm glad we did this. It's great having someone other than Pansy to talk to.” I admit.

“Yeah it is. And I am enjoying getting to know the new Draco.”

Thankful, I find myself giving Harry a hug. I love how it feels in his arms something about it just makes me feel safe and cared for. A feeling I'm not used to. As I slowly pull away Harry asks me, “What was that for?”

Well this is a familiar scene. I think to myself before replying, “I don't know. Just a thank you I guess. For not ditching me or anything.”

“I would never do that.” Harry reassures me placing his hand on my lap.

My eyes follow his hand and then I look up into Harry's eyes again. I never noticed how emerald green his eyes are or how full of compassion they are. _I guess the whole caring hero facade isn't a facade after all._ I think, as I shift my gaze to the world below.

With his hand still on my lap, Harry tilts up my chin so I'm looking him in the eyes. He leans in and kisses me on the lips. Enjoying the new range of feelings going on inside me I kiss back. It's not long until I feel his tongue at the entrance of my lips. I open them allowing Harry's tongue access and letting out a small moan. Still kissing him, I put my arms around Harry's neck. I feel his arms making they're way around my waist until he abruptly pulls away and stands on his feet. Without a word he rushes off down the stairs, leaving me feeling abandoned, dirty and used.

**Harry POV**

I run down the astronomy tower stairwell. Tears rolling down my cheeks and embarrassment on my face. I have never been so thankful for my invisibility cloak. Otherwise I don't know how else I would've been able to hide my bulge. I figure it's best to head straight to bed. So as soon as I'm in the halls I head straight for my dorm room. When I enter my room, I am relieved to find Ron and Neville are still fast asleep. I throw off my cloak, put it in my trunk and climb in to bed without even changing into my bed clothes.

I can't believe I kissed Draco Malfoy. No. I can't believe I _snogged_ Draco Malfoy, and I got hard while doing so. I'm not gay. Am I? I mean I suppose it would explain what happened between me and Ginny. But I'm the Golden Gryffindor Boy and what if Ron and Hermione find out? I know they're my friends and they probably wouldn't care. I'm lucky to have such great friends.

That's when I remember Malfoy doesn't. Why did I kiss him? He looked so broken and so beautiful all at the same time. I really feel bad now for ditching him like that. I bet he feels like absolute shit.

I do consider going back to apologise, but I figure he's already fled to his own room. I better just get some sleep. I'll talk to him tomorrow.

**Draco POV**

Did that actually happen? Did Harry Potter really kiss me? And I think I liked it. Huh? maybe that's why I've never had a girlfriend. The way he left. Did I do something wrong? Did I influence the kiss? Am I gay? _Father would love that._ I think sarcastically.

Feeling worse the more I think about it I pull the razor blade out of my wand pocket. I hid it in there as a 'just in case' I need it sort of thing. Right now I really need it. I roll up my right sleeve and take in the blank canvas. I bring the blade down to my wrist. The relief is instant. I make two more cuts. I like to watch as the blood oozes from them and runs down my arm. It's like I'm bleeding out all the darkness inside me. Feeling satisfied for now, I clean up the blood on my arm and roll down my sleeve.

On my way back to my dorm I run into Snape. “Draco, what are you doing out of bed?” He asks, sounding concerned.

“I... I..” My mind blanks.

“My office.” He orders me suddenly angry.

Once inside his office I take a seat opposite him.

“How dare you? You insolent boy.” He screams at me.

“I didn't do anything. I swear.” I plea confused by his sudden outburst.

He walks over to me and forces up my left sleeve revealing a very messed up looking tattoo.

“How dare you disrespect an honour such as the Dark Lord's mark by mutilating it.” Infuriated he strikes me across the face. “And I saw that little romance between you and Mr Harry Potter.”

My fear is now over whelming. “I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to happen. He kissed m-” Before I get a chance finish I am hit again this time in the stomach. I bowl over in pain, letting myself fall off the chair.

“Get out of my sight, you little fag.” Snape demands.

I painfully I stand to my feet and leave.

When I finally get to my room, I just crawl into bed. I owl Pansy telling her I'm too tired to talk tonight and that we will talk tomorrow.

How did Snape see us at the Astronomy Tower? Why was he so enraged at the cuts on the dark mark on my arm. He was so different about it earlier. I now have no doubt that he is behaving exactly like my father, down to the way he speaks to me.

Still sore from my beating and the emotional trauma of tonight. I just let myself cry as I drift off to sleep.

 


	7. Unlikely Things

**Draco POV**

 

The next morning I wake up to find a Pansy Parkinson sitting on my side where Snape punched me last night. “Ouch Pansy. Do you have to sit on me?” I mumble, still half asleep.

Right away she shifts to the side of my bed. “Sorry Dray. So what happen between you and Potter last night?”

Pansy watches me concern clear on her face as I try to sit up. Everything in my body aches. I push through the pain and just about manage to rest my back against my pillow. “You know we just talked about stuff and then he kissed me.” I groggily reply.

Her face lights up with shock and joy. “Draco, I'm so happy for you.”

“Whoa whoa. I'm not gay. I don't think.” I say, sounding unsure.

“I never said you were.” She holds up her hands in defence. Wanting to know, but obviously not wanting to upset me she gently asks, “So how was the kiss?”

I consider her question before answering. If I tell her truth she'll think I'm gay. On the other hand if I lie she'll know right away and tell me to get over my Malfoy pride. I go with the truth. “It was amazing and when he slid his tongue in my mouth-”

“You snogged Harry Potter.” She interrupts almost laughing.

I feel my face go red now. I look Pansy in the eyes afraid to know the answer of the question I'm about to ask. “Is it gay, if I kind of got...” I look at my sheets trying to figure out how to word it to her. “...a weird feeling down stairs when we were kissing?”

“Uh... duh.” She grins at me.

“I was afraid you were going to say that. Maybe I am gay.” I admit.

She pulls me into a hug. “Dray whatever you are I'm proud of you and I love you. You will always have my support.”

“I know Pans. I love you too.” As she pulls away breaking the hug I wince from the pain of my stomach.

Pansy sees me wince and puts her hand on my stomach. When I wince again she her concern grows. “Draco what's wrong?”

I carefully slide off my robe, thankful to be wearing a long sleeved shirt to hide the cuts on my arms. I lift up my shirt exposing a massive bruise on the left side of my stomach. “Shit. I didn't think it was that bad.” I whisper just as shocked as Pansy looks.

She traces the bruise with her fingers. I hiss as the lightest touch hurts like hell. “Sorry Dray, but... who did this to you?” She gasps.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

“It wasn't Lucius-”

“Don't be ridiculous. He's dead.” I cut in coldly. I never have a positive emotion when referring to that man. “It was my dear old Godfather, Snape.”

“Really? Why?” She questions in complete shock.

“He somehow saw me and Harry up at the Astronomy Tower, so he threw me a couple punches and called me a fag for good measure.” I sigh. “He has been really weird since the war. He's more cruel than usual... well to me anyway. And sometimes he will say things and I swear it's like I'm talking with my father.”

Pansy looks at me curiously. “You don't think Snape is possessed by Lucius' ghost or something?”

“Is that even possible?” I ask desperately hoping it's not. “If anyone knows, it's Granger.”

Pansy stands up off my bed. “Anyway, I need to go shower before breakfast.”

“Yeah, you are a little ripe Pans.” I grin, pretending to hold my nose.

“Hey!” She snaps, grabbing my pillow and throwing it at me.

“Owch. That hurt.”

“Sorry Drakey-poo.” She says patronizingly while heading out the door.

I hate that nickname. I tolerate it when she calls me Dray, but she calls me Drakey-poo because she knows it annoys me. I'm so glad it's Saturday.

 

**Harry POV**

 

“So what happened between you and Malfoy last night?” Ron asks me, shovelling coco pops into his mouth.

“Nothing happened, I swear,” I say, freezing up a little.

“Chill. I was only asking.”

“Asking about what?” Hermione interrupted, parking herself beside Ron.

“Harry had a hang out date with his new buddy Draco Malfoy last night.” Ron spills.

She chokes on her tea. “You're dating Malfoy?”

“It wasn't a date. We're just friends... I think.” I try to assure them, but I think I'm failing.

“What do you mean you think?” Hermione asks cautiously.

I look around the hall and decide this isn't the best place to confess my secrets. “Not here.” I reply leading my friends to the Gryffindor common room. We then head for mine and Ron's room. Thankfully it's empty, so I close the door not bothering to lock it.

“Okay Harry the truth. What happened between you and ferret face last night?” Ron demands.

With both Ron and Hermione starring me down I can't but feel under pressure. “I... we... uh sort of kissed.”

“He kissed you!” Hermione says in shock.

“That little faggot.” Ron interjects.

“No he's not a fa... I mean Draco isn't... I kissed him okay.” I confess feeling uncomfortable. “I think I'm gay.” Relieved and terrified I can only just look my friends in the eyes.

Hermione's surprised face morphs into a happy one and she throws her arms around me. “It doesn't matter in the slightest.” She responds trying to reassure me. Although it's not working because Ron hasn't said a word about it yet.

“Ron please say something.” I beg, feeling ready to cry.

“I don't what to say mate. You dated my sister, knowing that you don't like girls. What happened that night? Did you cheat on her with some guy or what?” Ron asks, avoiding my gaze.

“Of course not!” I reply sternly. “It's not like that. We broke up because that night I couldn't... ya know.” I can't help but shift my gaze as I finish explaining.

“Why Malfoy?” Ron asks, with a disgusted look on his face.

“It wasn't planned. It just kind of happened. He's not the same Draco Malfoy from last year.”

“So are you two together now?” Hermione asks excitedly.

“I don't think so. I kind of freaked out and ran off on him. He probably won't even look at me after me being so crappy to him.” I admit.

“He'll get over it. Just talk to him.” She replied.

Ron takes a deep and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I'm sorry about the whole faggot thing mate. Like Hermione said it doesn't matter that you're gay.” He then pulls me into a hug.

“Thanks.” I whisper. Telling myself to not cry.

“Right if you two are done with your bromance there are three butter beers in The Three Broomsticks with our names on them.” Hermione interrupts leading the way to Hogsmeade.

 

**Draco POV**

 

On a Saturday afternoon I find myself in the library scanning through books for an answer to what is wrong with Snape. I am just about to give up on my quest when I spot Granger with her head in some book on the origins of magic. I roll my eyes. That's typical Granger but... she might just have the answer I'm looking for.

As I occupy the seat next to her, she looks up from her book looking the most confused I think she has ever been in her life.

“Before you begin mumbling. I need your help with something.” I blurt out, trying to keep my Slytherin cool. “As I'm sure your smarty ass brain has noticed, Professor Severus Snape has been behaving rather strangely this year.”

“Now that you mention it his reflexes are not what they were, at all. He doesn't glare at Harry anywhere near as much as he used to.” Hermione adds, in agreement.

“What do you know about demons or ghosts possessing the living or almost dead?” I ask.

“You clearly don't pay attention in class. Snape has had us studying demons, ghosts and possession since school started.” She replies in her usual know-it-all tone.

“Yeah, I haven't really been in classes lately.” I admit.

“Why?”

“I've just been dealing with stuff and I didn't feel like it. Okay.” I snap.

She looks around the library and then leans in closer. “I know what happened between you and Harry last night.”

The second she says it I reach for my throat suddenly finding it a little hard to breath. “If you tell anyone I'll cut your mudblood throat in your sleep.” I threaten quietly.

She holds up her right hand before answering, “I promise I won't. Harry seems to really care about you and if there is something going on between you two I want you to know you have my full support.”

Her sincerity touches something inside me. “Thanks Grang... Hermione. That actually means a lot. But I don't think there is anything between Potter and I. Judging by the way he ran off last night I-”

“That had nothing to do with you.” Hermione interrupts. “Harry told me why he left you like that. He freaked out because he kissed you and he liked it. He just liked it a little too much, if you know what I mean.”

It takes me a minutes but I soon catch on to what she is referring. “You mean he got a boner.” I confirm. Granger just nods. I sit back in my chair with a sly grin on my face. _I gave Harry Potter a boner._

“I'm going to go and read through the books I got for Professor Snape's homework assignments.” Granger announces quietly forcing me out of my thoughts.

“Whatever. I have better things to do.” I reply arrogantly.

She gives me a look of genuine kindness. “I will let you know what I find and... talk to Harry. I think you too would be good for each other. All the best Draco.” As she leaves the library she looks back with a sad look on her face. I flash her a very real smile, before she is out of sight.

 _She thinks Potter and I would be good for each other. She must be on drugs._ I think to myself. Potter is the Golden-boy-who-lived... twice and I'm the Fallen Slytherin Prince. There's no way.

 


	8. Conspiracy Theories

**Harry POV**

 

“Harry have you spoken to Draco at all yet?” Hermione demands to know, as she sits beside me on the sofa in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

“No. I've just been kind of avoiding him. Which works because I think he has been avoiding me too.” I reply honestly.

“Well you should talk to him, Harry. Something isn't right with him... there is something going on... and it's bad.” She pauses, before continuing. “Haven't you noticed how different Snape has been this year?”

I consider her question. “Actually I have. He rarely glares at me in class any more and he always smells like mint and camomile. What is up with that?”

“I was talking to Draco earlier in the library.” Hermione admits.

“You what? Why?”

“He approached me. Anyway none of that matters. He seem to be under the impression that Snape's drastic personality change is related to possession.”

“Isn't that what Snape has been teaching us about since school started. About how certain demons or whatever, can possess people on the brink of death.”

I could see the light bulb flash on above her head. “Of course.” Hermione says, as though the answer is so simple,

I always feel kind of stupid when she has those moments, but it's those moments that have saved my hole more than once. So I don't complain. “If Snape is possessed then why is he teaching us about it? Wouldn't that get him found out?”

“Don't you get it, Harry?”

“No... not really.” I don't know how she figures these things out.

“That is exactly why he is teaching us about. No one will ever suspect a he is what he is teaching us about because it is stupidly obvious... and with everything that happened to him in the war any unusual behaviour will just be put down to PTSD or something along those lines.”

“Now I get it.” I respond feeling my own light bulb flash on. “How do you figure these things out? You're bloody brilliant, you know that Hermione?”

She gives me a smile that says, _do you ever really doubt how truly brilliant I am._ “I know.” She replies.

“So what else did Malfoy say about it.” I ask hoping to find out why he sought out Hermione.

“I think Draco has been getting badly treated by Snape. He said that Snape would do or say something that would make him think it was Lucius Malfoy.”

“Shit.” I curse, with a horrible feeling that is obviously showing.

“What is it?” Hermione asks, sounding very worried.

“Sorry Mione. I've really gotta go.” I reply, before running out of Gryffindor with my invisibility cloak.

 

**Draco POV**

 

I am walking down the hall towards Slytherin ready to crawl into bed. When an invisible force takes hold of my hand and begins dragging me in the opposite direction. I get dragged all the way up to the Astronomy Tower when the invisible force reveals itself.

“Potter?” I spit. “What? Why did you drag me up here?”

“We need to talk... about the other night?”

“You mean when you kissed me and ran off. No need, Granger already explained everything.” Potter's face grows red with embarrassment and I can't help but smirk at the sight.

“Okay. I think I'm gay.” He confesses. Although I have no idea why he is confessing his secret to me.

“I know. Your friend also mentioned the excitement you got in your dick when you kissed me. What I don't know is why you are telling me this.” I answer furrowing my brow.

“Because... I don't know. I hated the way I left you that night.”

“Then why did you?” I retort. “Do you have any idea how cheap that made me feel? I deserve to know why _you_ kissed _me_ and then ran off without so much as an apology or a goodbye.”

“I'm sorry, but if Hermione already told you then why do I hav-”

“Because I want to hear it from you!” I demand.

“I ran because I like you. Okay!” Potter screams back. “I Harry Potter like Draco Malfoy and it terrified me.”

Instead of making some snide comment I decide to be honest. For right now anyway, the second we are back in the halls the wall is going back up. “Don't you think I was scared? I'm enough of an outcast as it is. If it got out that I'm a fag... let's just say things will become anything but easier.”

“You are not... that word. Your a strong, smart, mysteriously wonderful person. That's probably why I like you.” Potter compliments.

I don't know if it's because of the encouragement I'm suddenly getting first from Pansy, and now Harry. Maybe it's because I like him too, but all I want to do is kiss him again. However I am able to restrain myself.

“I know this might be a crazy request, but do you want to be... together... like boyfriends?” He asks avoiding eye contact.

My silence lingeries and he looks up at me with that dopey, awkward smile. I walk up to him and plant my lips on his. He gently pushes me against the wall and stops.

“Is that a yes?” He asks me panting.

I kiss the side of his mouth. “Yes. That's a yes.” I reply, pulling his head towards me so our lips are mashing again. Once again our tongues are rolling between our mouths and I can feel he likes it too. However he abruptly pulls away again, but this time he isn't running off. “What's wrong? Why are you stopping?” I ask, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Nothing. This is great.” He replies. “But this isn't why I dragged you up here. Hermione told me about your conversation in the library. The part about Snape.”

“Oh.” I say sliding down the wall to sit.

Potter sits down beside me and takes my hand in his. “She told me about your theory that Snape is being possessed by your father. As it turns out your theory might be spot on.”

“Okay.” I don't really know to feel let alone respond to that. “What is your question? As I know you have one.” I ask, not really wanting to hear it.

“The other night before the whole me kissing you and running off thing you told me that Lucius used to abuse you. If Lucius is possessing Snape... has _Snape_ ever hit you?”

I knew I wasn't going to want to hear this. I sigh and let go of his hand. “Yes. But before you get up on your heroine, high horse. I've dealt with my father all my life, so I can deal with it.”

“I've seen how he hurts you.” Potter admits. “At least in Voldemort's presence. I've felt the beatings and the crucio curse.”

Feeling annoyed at the breach of privacy, I stand and am about to leave, but I turn back. “You used your telepathic link with Voldemort to spy on me. That was private, my secret.”

“It's not my fault.” Harry defends. “I couldn't always control it.”

“What else did you see?” I ask, but the look on his face confirms my fears. As I turn again to leave Harry stands and grabs my hand, but I jerk it away. “You bastard.” I hiss.

“I'm not the one who raped my son to please the dark lord's sick fetish.” He throws back.

“Say that again, Potter?” I challenge.

“Your father is the evil bastard for what he did to you.”

“Just stay out of my fucking life.” I retort weakly. As I make my way down the stairs I hear Harry shout back. “But I am your boyfriend.” I just ignore him and head straight for Slytherin.

 

No matter how hard I try to resist I go straight to my bathroom. So many thoughts running through my head and my father's voice taunting me again.

_I told you faggot to stop your insolence. What makes you think Harry Potter would want you? Your broken goods. It is your fault he nearly died in the war. It is your fault that Snape nearly died. You have always been a disappointment Draco. I should have listened to Bellatrix and drowned you at birth._

The echo of my father's words have a lot more sting to them this time. What reason do I really have to stay here any way? To continue getting abused in the halls, to be the boyfriend that Potter _doesn't_ deserve.

I open the medicine cabinet and grab my beloved razor blade. Then I sit on the bathroom floor and roll up my right sleeve. With tears streaming down my face I bring the blade to my wrist and push. As I drag it along the blue vein in my arm, I quickly stop and the blood begins to pour out. It is amazing how much damage can be done with one cut, with the right motivation.

I am beginning to feel cold now as the blood leaves my body to a pool on the floor beside me.

_I'm done._ I think to myself as everything begins to get fuzzy and eventually goes black.

 


	9. Slipping Slytherin

**Harry POV**

 

 _I am unbelievable._ I think while I pace the length of the astronomy tower. Draco needed me to be sensitive and what do I do, rile him up until he breaks. Granted we do have years of experience of throwing verbal digs at each other. When I heard the defeat in his voice when he told me to stay out of his life, it broke my heart. It hurt, but my words probably did a lot more damage. I wish I never had that link with Voldemort. Except if it wasn't for that link we wouldn't of had the advantage against him in the war. I shouldn't of pissed of Snape when he was trying to teach me how to control it. Although he seemed more nasty than necessary, I know now it wasn't him simply being mean. He risked his life for the school and for Malfoy.

 _Shit. I better go apologize to him._ With that thought in mind I throw on my invisibility cloak and head to Slytherin house.

Once again I am forced to stop at the portrait hole. I silently wait for about five minutes when a Slytherin first year recites the password to gain access. I quickly sneak in behind him. As soon as I'm through I stop to take in the sight that is the Slytherin common room.

It is very different to Gryffindor. I never really thought about how it looks in here, but however I imagined it to be Hogwarts did it better. The room was filled with emerald green walls, stylish black tile floors and an elegant silver sofa and chairs placed in front of the fireplace like in Gryffindor. Unlike Gryffindor the fireplace mantel was black with silver lining and the fire flames were green. It is weird, but depressingly comforting, it works. And it is probably why most Slytherins have a numb edge.

I spend so much time taking in the Slytherin common room that I almost forget why I'm here. _Draco._ I think to myself. I make my way up what I hope is the stairs to the boys dormitories. I walk down the hall trying to figure out which room is Draco's until I remember a conversation between Crabbe and Goyle.

“ _Have you seen Malfoy about lately? It's boring having no one to take the piss out of.” Crabbe asked Goyle._

“ _No. All he does his hide in that room of his at the end of the hall.” Goyle replied. “He's such a loser. No wonder the death eaters lost the war.”_

“ _I know. It's sad really. I kind of feel sorry for him.” Crabbe said sounding genuine. Then the two exchanged a look and burst out laughing._

Why was Draco ever friends with those tossers, I'll never know. Even with the hall empty I keep my cloak on just to be safe. I continue walking until I finally reach what appears to be my new boyfriends door. As soon as I'm inside, I drop my cloak making myself visible. “Draco?” I quietly call. He doesn't answer but I do hear a malicious voice... a familiar one.

_You have always been a disappointment Draco. I should have listened to Bellatrix and drowned you at birth._ I hear the voice say. I do recognise that voice. It's Lucius Malfoy. He really is a bloody evil bastard.

I hear whimpering from the bathroom, followed by a weak “I'm done.”

“No.” I whisper. With my heart in my mouth I force myself into the emerald bathroom. There lying on the floor is an unconscious Draco Malfoy, bleeding. I drop to my knees and pull him into my arms.

 

**Pansy POV**

 

Something doesn't feel right. I don't know what, but I am going to find out what.

Feeling very worried about my blonde best friend, I leave my room and head for his. When I get there and open the door I hear a crying Harry Potter, trying to call for help, but failing through his cries. I rush to the Gryffindor boy to find him on the floor with a bleeding Draco.

“Potter what are you doing here? What happened?” I ask sternly, begging my voice not to break.

He looked up at me and mumbled. “I... I... I...”

I move around them and grab a wad of toilet paper. “Doesn't matter.” I hand him the toilet paper. “Hold that to his wrist to try and slow the bleeding. I'm gonna get help.” I demand running out of Slytherin house.

I stop outside Snape's office door and begin knocking frantically. The door abruptly opens. “Parkinson?” He asks, confused as to why I'm here. “What ever is wrong?” He looks worried now.

“It's Draco.” I reply, finally letting the tears fall. “Potter found him in the bathroom. He's lost a lot of blood sir.”

Alarmed by my distress he grabs something from his potion shelf, then he leads the way back to Slytherin.

He storms through the common room straight to Draco's bathroom with me following. When he finds Draco and Potter he drops down and carefully opens Draco's mouth to give him the potion he brought.

“What is that?” Potter and I ask in unison.

“It's a blood replenishing potion. It should hold Mr Malfoy over long enough to get him to the hospital wing. You should have fetched me sooner.” Snape says, picking up Draco. Potter an I follow him out the door.

“What the hell happened?” I ask.

“I don't know. We had a fight and he ran off. I decided followed him so I could apologize and that's when I found him. You don't think it was my fault?” He asks, while trying to keep up.

“Get over you self Potter. There is way more going on here.” I answer as we reach the hospital wing.

“I know.” The Gryffindor mutters. I want to respond but Pomfrey interrupts after seeing Snape set a very bloody blonde on one of the beds.

“Professor Snape what happened to the boy?” She asks.

Snape turns to face the round woman. “He has a severely mutilated wrist and he has lost a great deal of blood. Potter was holding a tissue to the wound to slow the bleeding while Parkinson retrieved me. I gave him a blood replenishing potion, but I don't think it was nearly enough to replace the mass lost.”

“I think he was trying to kill himself.” Potter adds, choking on his words.

Pomfrey gives us all a sad look. “Okay. You've all done well. I'm afraid the only thing I can is bandage the wound and put him on a blood IV, that way when young Malfoy wakes up I can keep an eye on him for a few days. I need you all to leave so I can tend to my patient. You can visit later.” She says waiting for us to leave.

Potter surprises me and obviously Professor Snape when he walk over to Draco and places a kiss on his forehead before leaving, tears still pouring down his face.

An impatient Pomfrey begins shooing me and Snape out of the hospital wing. “You got him here just in time. He'll be fine.” She says, before going back in to tend to Draco.

 

“My office Miss Parkinson.” Snape orders and I follow. When we get to his office he closes the door and sits opposite me. He tries to look stern, but I can tell that he is fighting to cry.

“I know why you called me here and I don't know why he did it, or what happened.” I admit. Disappointed and frustrated at the same time Snape holds his head in his hands. “Why was Mr Potter there and why did he kiss my Godsons forehead?” He asks.

“Potter said that they had, had a fight and that Draco ran off. He wanted to apologize so he followed him and that is when he found him. The only reason I found out is because I got a bad feeling and went to check on him. As for why Potter kissed him, that isn't my place to say sir. Besides I thought you already knew.”

“It would be impossible for me to know anything that has been going on with Draco as he has been avoiding my classes.” He replies as though _I_ haven't noticed. How dare he?

I stand up. “It's not just your classes he has been avoiding. He's been really depressed since school started and is it any wonder? He is suddenly an orphan, he's the school joke and with you beating him... he was bound to break!” I scream, frustrated at his ignorance.

“Excuse me Miss Parkinson? Be very careful with what you say next.” He threatens.

“I saw the bruise. I know you beat him. Draco was right you are just like Lucius.”

He glares at me. “How dare you! I-” I leave before he can finish.

 

I go back to the hospital wing to check on my best friend. When I arrive Draco is tucked in to the white bed with an IV attached to his arm under the covers. I sit in the chair beside him. I watch as he sleeps, he looks so peaceful. The most peaceful I've seen him this year. I wish it didn't have to take something like this to bring him such peace. I want to hug him, but I'm afraid I'll wake him up or hurt him.  _I knew he was depressed. If only I had pushed him more to open up._ I laugh at that thought, because I know he would have just pushed me further away. I smile at him and how cosy he looks all wrapped up. “I'm glad Pomfrey is taking good care of you.” I say. I push up his fringe and kiss him on the forehead.

“Me too.” A quiet voice says.

I swing round to see Potter pulling a chair up beside me. I smile at him. “I'm glad you're hear. I know how much Draco cares about you.”

“I care a lot about him too.” He answers, returning my smile.

“I know.” I say, smiling again at the boy who makes my favourite person in the world smile.

 


	10. Understanding Why

**Draco POV**

 

Death is more peaceful than I thought it would be. It's like a dreamless sleep. As though I never existed. I don't understand why so many fear this. If I had known death was like this I would have killed myself years ago. Hold on... is that snoring?

My eyes flutter open, my head feels like it has been put through a blender and I'm so weak I can't move, even if I wanted to. I see a red looking wire attached to my arm. My gaze follows it to learn that I'm hooked up to an IV and the bag is filled with what must be blood, given how red it is. I look around the room to see where I am. Unfortunately I'm in the hospital wing. _Brilliant._ I hear another snore and turn to the source. There sitting in a seat beside Pansy who is also asleep, is Harry Potter. How the hell did he know I was here?

Pansy stirs and opens her eyes. “Draco.” She smiles. “You're awake. I'll get Madam Pomfrey.” As she stands up to get the nurse witch, I grab her arm weakly. “No, don't.” I say so quietly, I wonder if she heard me.

“Twenty minutes then I'm getting her.” Pansy says sternly.

“Fine.” I huff. Just as I say it Harry wakes up. He stretches his arms while letting out a yawn. Even in his tired state he looks adorable. Stupid Potter making me like even though I'm still mad at him. He throws me that big smile of his and reaches for my hand, but I pull away. I can see the hurt in his face as he looks to Pansy for help to understand.

Instead she places a friendly hand on his shoulder. “Just let me talk to him alone for a bit.” She says. “Besides I could really use some coffee and bring back some orange juice for Draco.”

The Gryffindor just nods and leaves the hospital wing.

The second he's gone Pansy turns to me with a serious look on her face. “Why was _he_ here?” I ask her.

“Draco... Potter is the one who found you. He was here because he cares about you. So do I.” She replies.

“Really?” I ask, in disbelief.

“Yeah. Any way what I want to know is why... why would you try to kill yourself? Is it because you're gay? Is it because of Snape, or the bullying?”

“It's all of it. I found out that my father is very possibly possessing Snape, Potter asked me out but then I found he saw all the abuse I got from my father at the dark lord's meetings through the link they shared. So I got pissed off at him and then...” I pause finding it painful to remember Lucius' words.

“What else happened Dray?” She gently asks, holding my hand in hers.

“And then Lucius showed up. Well sort of, it was his voice. I don't know why he didn't just come to me in Snape, maybe he could have done the job for me.” When I finish Pansy slaps my hand and pretty hard too. “What was that for?”

“Don't you ever say anything like that again Draco Malfoy. Suicide was and never is the answer. Your life is so precious, so stop talking like your worthless. It is simply not true.” Her demeanour calms again.

“Then why isn't Blaise here too? If I'm so great why is did he all of a sudden stop talking to me. The only thing I get from my _so called_ friend is glares and looks of disgust.”

“Blaise is a dick, but you have me.” Pansy replies, with a painful smile.

I know I hurt her, by completely ignoring the fact that _she_ has always been there for me. “I'm sorry Pansy, I'm such a prat. I do love you.”

“I know and you are, but you're forgiven. Now what did Lucius say to you last night?”

I look at my sheets, unable to look her in the eye as I answer. “He told me I was a disappointing, broken goods faggot, that I was to blame for Harry and Snape almost dying... and that he should have drowned me a birth.”

“That evil bastard!” She screams.

Pomfrey approaches us. “Miss Parkinson, watch you language. Mr Malfoy I am glad to see you are awake. If you like I can bring you some breakfast.”

“No I'm not-”

“He will have pumpkin pops. That's his favourite. Potter is getting him orange juice.” Pansy interrupts. I shoot her a glare as Madam Pomfrey warns her to keep the volume down and then leaves to get me breakfast.

“Don't give me that glare Dray. You have barely eaten since school started and I'll be damned if I'm going to let this continue. We almost lost you last night. Potter was crying all night and even Snape seemed genuinely concerned for your well being.”

“It's nothing. I'm fine.” I urge, hoping she'll drop it.

“Draco... you tried to kill yours-”

“No I didn't.” I interrupt. “I just went too deep... it was an accident.”

She gives me a look saying she doesn't believe me. “There was too much blood to have went too deep with one cut, Dray. So don't lie to me.”

Before she can continue Potter returns with Granger on his arm.

 

**Hermione POV**

 

_ Where is he? _ I think waiting for Harry at breakfast. “Are you sure he didn't come back last night?” I ask my read head boyfriend.

“He didn't-” Just then Harry enters the Great Hall. “Where the bloody hell have you been?” Ron asks him.

“Sorry. It's been a long night.” He replies.

“Okay we'll talk more later, mate. I've got to get to Qudditch practice. I'm glad you're okay, you had us worried.” Ron then gives me a peck on cheek and leaves the hall.

Harry sits opposite me, putting his head in his hands. He looks like he barely slept and his eyes are puffy. “Harry, have you been crying? What's going on?” I ask.

“I asked Draco out and he said yes.” He mumbled, starring at the tables wood patterns.

I pull his hands away from his head, forcing him to look at me. “What's so bad about that?” I'm confused normally when someone agrees to go out with you it's a good thing.

Harry sniffles before answering. “We had a fight that was my fault. And when I went to go apologize I found him in pool of his own blood.” When he finished he broke into tears. I hate to see him like this. It makes me feel like crying.

“I'm so sorry, but it's not your fault. There is a lot more going on with Draco between the bullying he gets and Lucius possessing Snape... something was bound to happen sooner or later. Have you seen him in the hospital wing yet?”

“Yeah, that's why I'm so tired, I've been by his beside all night. I only left to get Draco some orange juice and Pansy a coffee. She has been with him all night too.” Harry replies, standing and taking hold of a juice and coffee.

“C'mon.” I say linking my arm with his and taking one of the cups to carry. “I want to see him too, to make sure he's okay.”

“Thanks Mione.” He smiles.

 

**Harry POV**

 

As we walk towards Draco's bed, Pansy approaches us to talk. “Hey, have you talked to him? Did he say why he... you know?” I ask, unable to say the words for fear of crying again.

“Here's you coffee.” Hermione says, handing Pansy the cup in her hand.

“Thanks.” Pansy replies. She turns to me. “Yeah. It turns out in the time between him getting to his room and you following him to talk about the fight Lucius came to him. He told him all this horrible stuff that was a bunch of bull.”

Something clicks in my head as I remember the malicious words of a so called father. “I heard Lucius' voice before I found him. If he wanted to do damage why didn't he just go to him in Snape?”

“Draco asked the exact same thing. I don't know why, but when I confronted Snape about beating him... he got angry at me for accusing him of such a thing. He is unbelievable!”

“Pansy are you aware of Malfoy... I mean Draco's theory about Snape being possessed.” Hermione asks.

“Yeah and it makes sense.” She replies leading us over to Draco's bed. I take the seat next to Draco, Hermione takes my chair from earlier and Pansy sit on the edge of the bed.

“Why are you here Granger?” The blonde asks curiously.

“I came because Harry told me what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She pauses sending him a weak smile. She waits for him to return the smile and then continues, “I also have some more information on the whole possession thing. When a ghost or a demon, whatever you want to call it, possesses someone, they use up a lot of spiritual energy meaning they can only do it for so long at a time.”

“That would explain his crazy personality changes. One minute I'm beginning to think he actually cares about me and the next he hates me.” Draco says, beginning to understand.

“Exactly and when the person in question is possessed the time they are appears to them as nothing more than a brief blackout. So they have no memory of what happened during that time.”

“Oh shit.” Pansy gasps. “Snape genuinely was worried about you, Dray... and he really didn't know you too like each other. I think I'm in a lot of trouble now.”

The Slytherin boy's eyes widen. “Pause and rewind. Why would Snape think there was something between me and Potter? The time he saw us on the Astronomy Tower he was my father. If what Granger says is true  _Severus Snape_ would have no memory of it.”

“I may have kissed you're forehead in front of him while you were unconscious.” I stutter. The last thing I want to do is upset him any further.

“Thank you Potter... for saving me the trouble of telling him myself.” He replies sarcastically.

“He doesn't actually know. I wouldn't tell him when he asked. Instead I just blew up at him, because I thought he knew and was being a dick about it.”

Malfoy sighs and then surprises us by throwing his arms around Pansy. “You are both forgiven. I understand why.” He says, cracking a smile.

 


	11. Chinese Whispers

**Ron POV**

 

Blimey Harry has been really weird lately. I know he's had a hard time with figuring out he's gay and all. It doesn't bother me that he likes blokes, it's just... why did it have to be that ferret face Malfoy? I don't like him, but I don't exactly hate him either. And Harry obviously cares about him so, I'll be supportive. But I swear if that ferret does anything to hurt him, I'll turn him into one, shave his fur and paint purple polka dots on his scrawny body.

“Ron! Wake up would ya!” Ginny shouts from about half way down the Quidditch pitch. Consequently pulling me out of my thoughts. I'm the keeper this year. Ginny is the Gryffindor seeker because Harry couldn't be arsed.

There's definitely something else going on, and I know Hermione is in on it. So much for a drama free year at Hogwarts. I suppose it's like the old bat says whenever there's trouble me, Harry and Hermione always seem to be right in the middle of it. Whatever _it_ is this year.

“Ronald!” Ginny screams as I fail to save yet another goal.

“That queer Malfoy must be rubbing off on you Weasley.” Crabbe shouts up at me mockingly.

I decide I don't care about practise any more and fly down to face the two Slytherin blobs. “What was that?” I say hopping of my broomstick.

“You heard us.” Goyle responds. “We've seen the way he looks at your Potter.”

“So... doesn't mean he likes him back. What do you care any way?”

“We don't we're just bored out of our minds this year and Malfoy is our new toy.” Crabbe snorts.

“Should be easy with the information we've gathered form your good friends Potter and Granger.” Goyle interjects.

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” I snap.

“Don't you know?” The Slytherins ask. Crabbe continues, “The pathetic fag slit his wrists and landed himself in the hospital wing.”

Rage begins to fill up inside me. “How do you even know that?”

“Simple really. We were eaves dropping when your Golden Boy was blubbering to Granger about it.” Crabbe grins.

“He has really earned his title. The Fallen Slytherin Prince couldn't even kill himself right. Better luck next time.” Goyle adds cruelly.

I don't know why, but something in me snaps at that moment. Maybe it's because Harry's my best friend and I know he care about him. Letting the anger out, I throw Goyle a punch in the face and opening his bottom lip.

“What the fuck Weasley!” Goyle screams while Crabbe pulls me back, preventing me from throwing another punch.

“You two are so fucking soulless.” I spit, before leaving the pitch. Them two are bloody unbelievable, then again I'm not that surprised. They always were a pair of dicks.

Under different circumstances I would agree with the rest of the school that Draco Malfoy deserves everything he gets. Although I have no idea why, Harry really does care about him. And no one deservers all the shit he's been getting around school, even if the victim is ferret face.

I let out a sigh as I head towards the hospital wing.

 

**Draco POV**

 

“He was going to find out eventually.” I say freeing Pansy from my hug. “This way all I have to do is admit I have a boyfriend.”

The second I say it Pansy chokes on her coffee. “What?” She asks with a horse voice.

Granger rubs her back trying to ease the coughing, before asking the same question.

“But I thought after our fight... you were so angry and when I called back you didn't answer. I thought... you changed your mind.” Harry stutters.

“I did. But... I was being unfair. And it's very possible that Voldemort opened the connection just so you would feel exactly what I went through. Harry, he probably thought you would let your guard down. An opportunity to kill you, if you will. I'm glad you didn't though.” I smile. “I would have hated to see you die.” I confess.

“So I'm Harry again.” He replies.

“You always were.” I say pulling his head towards mine and kissing his beautiful lips.

“I love you Dray, but you're kind of making me jealous.” Pansy says hoping to interrupt the kiss. Instead I lean into it more, earning myself an eye roll from both girls.

“So you two are going out then?” Ron Weasley asks, successfully interrupting the kiss.

At the sound of the red head's voice Harry quickly pulls away accidentally causing me to tug at my IV wire. Thankfully it doesn't come out but I wince at the pain of it. “You got to stop doing that!” I say holding my arm.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, with a guilty expression. He turns to his friend. “Yeah we are together and I don't care what you think, Ron.”

“I'll admit I wish it wasn't Malfoy, but I just punched Gregory Goyle because he was talking shit about him. I may not get it, but I know you care about him. So don't talk to me like I have a problem with it. I already told you that it doesn't bother me.” Wealey rants.

“Thanks Weasley.” I reply. “But how did you know we were in the hospital wing.”

“Your arsehole friends Crabbe and Goyle told me at practice.”

“How did they know?”

“They over heard Harry crying to Mione about it.” His gaze shifts to the bandage on my arm. “Did you really try to kill yourself?”

I am really getting sick of being asked that. Bloody Weasley putting me on the spot. They're all starring at me now. I consider lying, but I know Pansy will just jump in if I do. “Yes Weasley. I did.” I sigh feeling the weight of my depression setting in again and the adrenaline rush of my anxiety.

“Okay... so what the bloody hell is going on, because I know it takes a lot to bring someone to that point. I also knew this year wasn't going to be drama-free. We have never had a quiet year at this bloody school.” He tells.

Harry stands to face his best friend. I've always envied the bond that they share. I suppose I have that same kind of friendship with Pansy. Which she has more than proved especially this year. When everyone else disowned me, she stood by me regardless of my sexuality.

Harry's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “You're right Ron and it's about time you know what is going on.”

“Finally.” He replies, crossing his arms.

“Professor Severus Snape is being possessed by Lucius Malfoy.” My boyfriend says bluntly.

I try my best not to laugh at the ginger Gryffindor's face. My Gryffindor sees my smirk and gives me a look to say _I know it is hard but try not to laugh_.

“Fucking hell. Is that why we've been getting away with blue murder in class? And is that why he's been teaching us about it?”

“What?” Harry and Granger ask. I have to say even I'm surprised that he has caught on so quickly. Usually he is really dense about these things.

“I kind of planted a recorder under the table where we normally sit. I couldn't depend on you two to tell me what was going on. The only reason you are telling me now is cause Malfoy landed himself here.” Weasley states, nodding toward the other two Gryffindors.

I stare at him blankly. “Very sneaky Weasley. I have to say I think I have a new found respect for you.” I say, holding out my right arm to him. He takes my hand and leans forward to pat me on the back.

“So what is the plan to beating Lucius?” He asks with conviction.

The rest of us spend the next few minutes sharing questioning glances. Granger finally breaks the silence. “We don't exactly have one. Which is why I am going to go to library and see what I can find.” She says leaving the hospital wing. Weasely follows her to help, I assume.

“I'm going to get a nap before this afternoons classes. I don't want to face _Lucius Snape_ drowsy. Get some rest Dray. Love you.” Pansy tells giving me a hug.

"I love you too Pans." I reply as she also leaves the hospital.

“I suppose you're going to ditch me too.” I ask Harry.

“I can stay, if you need me. I don't mind sleeping in the chair again.”

“But I do. Go get some rest. I'll be fine. I promise.”

“Okay. If anything else happens you have to send for me. And do as Pansy says, get some rest and feel better soon.” He pecks me on the lips and as well.

Madam Pomfrey comes over to check my IV and put a fresh bandage on my arm. She also warns me not to try anything and that she has her eye on me.  _Like I have the energy to move._ I think to myself.

Being alone I really don't want to think and I don't want to risk my father tormenting me again. So I lie down and allow myself to drift off to sleep.

 


	12. A Fate Worse Than Death

**Snape POV**

 

“ _All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here,” Said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “Wondering why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for it's rightful owner... and I think I have the answer.”_

_I did not speak, for fear that I knew what that answer was._

“ _Severus, you have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must be done. However the Elder Wand cannot properly serve me as I am not it's true owner. It belongs to the wizard who killed it's last owner. As you were the one to kill Albus Dumbledore, it will never truly be mine while you still live.”_

“ _My Lord!” I pleaded regardless of the knowledge that it would make no difference._

“ _Nagini, kill.” Voldemort ordered the snake in parseltougne._

_I let out a terrible scream as I felt the snakes teeth sink into my neck. I stumbled backwards against the wall, and fell to the floor. The bastard snake attacked my neck a further two times. Apparently once wasn't enough. She then slithered around the dark lord's shoulders and they both vanished._

_I could feel the blood quite literally drain from my face. For the first time I fully understood what it was to bleed out. It was more painful than the ridicule that I received when I was a student. I put everything into trying to take Voldemort down everything into protecting my Godson and for what to be seen as two-faced. Now I had nothing but the stale aroma of my own blood._

_I could hear whispers and then three figures appeared before me. Mr Potter, Mr Weasley and Miss Granger stared at me with sad eyes. Mr Harry Potter then fell to his knees and crawled over to me, placing his hand over my bleeding neck. His futile attempts to stop the bleeding were somewhat heart warming._

“ _I... I don't know what to do. How can I help?” He stuttered, allowing his emotions to take over._

_I smiled at the distraught boy in front of me. A tear formed in my left eye. “Take it... take it.” I urged._

“ _Quick Hermione. Give me a flask or something.” Potter asked Granger. She handed him a vial and Potter brought it to my eye and waited for the tears to roll into it._

_I looked the young Gryffindor in the eyes. “You have your mother's eyes.” I complimented. I smiled at those beautiful, love-filled eyes. I didn't want to leave those eyes thinking I was the bastard that Voldemort is. “I... I didn't mean for Albus to die. I was only protecting Draco... I had no choice.” The boy continued to stare his eyes looking with understanding. “It's okay, sir.”_

“ _No, it's not. I'm... sorry.” I whispered, as I slipped into unconsciousness._

 

_I am not sure how long I was out, but when I awoke the Gryffindors were gone. Dawn was breaking and the mornings cold air made me long for death. Why it had he had not yet taken me, I didn't know._

_I assume at this point the war was over. The silence and the dull atmosphere hanging over Hogwarts was enough to bring even the happiest of people down. I could only hope that Voldemort lost._

_A stumbling Lucius Malfoy came into view. Clearly he had been injured, and was looking for a final place to rest._

_He stopped a few metres away from me. “Severus. Just the person I was looking for. You are exactly what I need.” Lucius said in a twisted tone, before collapsing to ground._

_That was certainly odd. I thought to myself. Although I had no idea how curiously odd things would become._

_Just when I thought death had finally come to take me, something in the air changed. Lucius Malfoy suddenly appeared before me. My gaze shifted to where he had collapsed, his body still lay where it had fallen. So how was it that he was standing there also?_

“ _Severus. Just the person I was looking for. You are exactly what I need.” Malfoy repeated._

“ _How? Why?” I asked, wondering if I was even speaking English. What on earth was he babbling about?_

“ _I will be the next dark lord, however I cannot do that with out a body. I have unfinished business with my destiny to take Voldemort's place, now that the slimey bastard is dead.”_

“ _It not possible! No one has ever done what you are implying.”_

“ _Which is precisely why I will be the first and you my lucky friend will be my vessel.” Lucius sniggered._

“ _I am not you're friend, and my loyalty was never to the dark lord.”_

“ _It will be traitor. I will be alive once again.”_

“ _It would be impossible for you to resurrect yourself with out a willing sacrifice to restore the balance of this world and I never will.”_

“ _Stupid man! I don't need you to be the sacrifice, I merely need your body. As also have unfinished business with my worthless, disappointment of a son.”_

_ With the little strength I had left slowly scrabbled to my feet, using the wall behind me to hold myself up. I then withdrew my wand and pointed it at the evil soul before me. “You leave Draco alone. Don't you dare go near him!” I warned. _

“ _Don't tell me what I can and cannot do with my own son.” Lucius laughed. “He will be my making.”_

_ I realised what his plan was for the boy. He planned to make Draco his sacrifice. Over my dead body, I will fight to my dying breath. “Then I will be your undoing.” I declared.  _

“ _You can't stop me... you can barely even stand.”_

“ _I will stop you, even if it kills me.”_

“ _Stupid man. Draco is my son, I am his father. He is no concern of yours.”_

“ _You may have played a part in conceiving him, but you are not his father. I was there for his first steps, I was there for every fall, through every failure and disappointment. I was the one he cried to in the middle of the night when he returned from your meetings with Voldemort, I was there for every nightmare and I was the one who held him through those painful cries. I raised him... I love him.”_

_ Lucius starred at me, as my emotions bleed through. A smile curled from the corner of his mouth. “This is perfect. With the relationship you share with my son it will be easy to break him.” _

“ _I will have no part in this!” I screamed the best I could. I was feeling far more faint at that point, but it was to be expected as I should have been dead. My legs gave way and I found myself on the floor again._

“ _It's almost time.” Malfoy stated, with an excited voice. Then started mumbling something I couldn't understand._

“ _No, I won't let you in. I won't let you hurt Draco. The boy has been through too much already.”_

“ _You are on your deathbed, Severus. You can't possibly fight me and win, you foolish man.” Lucius then made his way closer to me until he eventually merged his spirit with my body. The coldness of him was bitter, I could feel him trying to take over me._

“ _I will not let you. You will not succeed!” I screamed, in agony. It felt as though my soul was being stabbed with a thousand needles and then being ripped out of me. “No! You won't hurt him.”_

“ _Of course_ _ **I** won't. You will be the one to dish out the beatings he has been deprived of. I can hardly allow the boy to go soft now can I?” Lucius replied from within me. _

_ I could feel my neck healing up, so I knew I was losing. However I refused to be his vessel of torture to Draco. _

“ _Give up old man. You cannot win.”_

“ _Nooooo...” As much as I hate to admit when I'm wrong, Lucius was right. He was much too strong and I had no hope of stopping him. I let out another agonising cry, as his spirit took over. I hated myself for not being able to protect Draco from his father. All I could do was try to be there for him the best I can. Although with what was to come, I wouldn't blame the boy if he grew to hate me._

_ There really are things worse than death.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Alan Rickman you will always be the person who gave character and a voice to our beloved Severus Snape. Always.


	13. Night Terrors

**Draco POV**

 

Three bloody days I've been stuck in this bed and Snape hasn't visited me once. Although I can't say I'm surprised. He isn't really the same man I knew before the war, the same man I had grown to love as a father. I know now that all the beatings and his cruel words were not of his doing, but it still really hurts. However Pansy says that she hasn't received so much as a glare from him for her outburst the other day. The only thing I can think of is that my father has had his body and that's why.

I have received a few enchanted paper planes, mostly students making fun of me and telling me I'm getting what I deserve for my crimes as a death eater. I don't care what they think any more. The only people I care for are Pansy, Harry and even Granger, and Weasley. They have proven to be loyal friends.

Regardless it hasn't been all that bad in here. Harry and Pansy have visited me daily with chocolates, and Pansy even brought me my iPod. I know it's a muggle invention, but it helps pass the time. Besides I find I can relate with muggle rock bands, I don't know how but their music understands me.

Even the other two Gryffindors came to visit when they could. I also got the IV taken out yesterday, so I am much more comfortable than I was. It's evening time and Harry should be coming to see me any minute now.

“Hey.” Harry says entering the hospital.

“Hi.” I reply weakly. He climbs into the bed behind me, so that I am lying between his legs, with his arms wrapped around me. He does this every night until I fall asleep. To my delight Madam Pomfrey doesn't have a negative word towards it. In fact she thinks it is comforting for me, and will help a great deal with my recovery.

“Harry?” I whisper.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you save me, back in the war? You knew I was on Voldemorts side yet you still saved me, despite Weasley urging you to let me die.”

“I also knew that you didn't have a choice, and you tried to help us. You turned it around when it really mattered.” Harry answers.

“But I went back to his side and then I ran away.”

“You were scared, that's understandable. I was scared too. And your parents were on his side, you didn't have a choice. Voldemort would have killed them.”

“You didn't run away though. You faced Voldemort, and won. And he killed my parents any way.” I sigh. “Maybe my father is right. I am just a worthless coward.”

“Don't ever say that, because it's not true.” Harry tells me off, slapping my arm.

“Ouch.” I moan. I'm beginning to get sick of these slaps.

“Your father is the fucking coward. Picking on his own son and now hiding behind Snape. And you've probably dealt with Voldemort _and_ Lucius more times than I have. As far as I'm concerned you are one of the bravest and strongest people I know.”

“If I am so strong, why am I in this bed?”

“You are still human, you can only take so much before you break. You're allowed to be less than perfect.” The Gryffindor answers, placing a kiss on the back of my head.

“Thanks.”

“What got you thinking about that anyway?”

“I don't know. I just spend most of my time in here thinking, there isn't much else to do. I can't wait to get out of here.”

“Just one more day Draco and then you can get back to normalcy. You're doing really well, you didn't fight Madam Pomfrey _too much_. You don't need the IV any more, and your father hasn't bothered you since you were admitted.”  
“Yeah, I suppose you are right.” I lie. The truth is although my father hasn't come to me, he has been in my nightmares. I hate falling asleep. Even the dreamless drafts Pomfrey has been given me haven't worked. Speaking of...

“Mr Malfoy here is your dreamless sleep draft. Try and get some rest tonight pet. I'm letting you out tomorrow, as promised.” Madam Pomfrey says, handing me the bottle.

“Thank bloody hell for that” I reply, thankfully.

The big woman turns to Harry, “Mr Potter please make sure he does sleep. He will be needing his energy for classes tomorrow.”

“I will.”

She nods and then leaves us. I down the draft in one go, hoping it makes a difference this time. However I am fairly certain it won't. I sink further down in my bed, resting my head on Harry's chest. I listen intently to the beating of his heart and place my hand over my own to feel it beat.

“What's wrong?” He asks.

“Nothing just feeling my heart beat.” I answer.

“Okay, why?”

“It reminds me that I am alive and listening to your heart beating in your chest makes me glad I am alive.”

“I'm glad you are alive too. Very glad.” I can feel him smile at me. The Gryffindor then gently places his fingers under my chin and tilts it up until my lips are touching his. I give into the kiss and allow his tongue access. I break away to sit up and I turn around to face my boyfriend. We get straight back to snogging, as we do I place my arms around Harry's neck. He puts his arms around my waist, but his hand moves towards my area. I flinch and push The Golden Boy off. He stands off the bed.

“I'm sensing a pattern here.” Harry says, in a frustrated tone.

I lie back down on the bed and curl up in the white duvet. “I'm sorry. It's just... it's too soon. I am no where near ready for that. I'm sorry, Harry.”

He looks at me the frustration on his face fading into that of understanding. He gets on his knees beside my bed. “That is okay. I am the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn't push you.” He pushes the hair out of my eyes. “Do you want me to stay again tonight?”

“No. I'll be fine.” I reply. “Besides I need to get used to sleeping alone again.”

“Fair enough. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow morning.” Harry leans in and kisses me on the forehead again, before leaving the hospital wing.

I can't help but think he deserves better than me. He deserves a guy with an awful lot less issues than I do. Regardless I am terribly grateful that he is mine.

Desperate for sleep , I open my the top drawer on my bedside table and pull out a packet of sleeping tablets. I know they are a muggle remedy, but they help me sleep. After popping a couple out of the plastic. I put the remainder of the tables in my pillow case, thinking that's probably a safer place to hide them. Closing drawer again, I reach for my water and down the pills.

It doesn't take long before I am drifting off to sleep.

 

“ _Draco... You must not continue this relationship with Potter.”_

“ _He makes me happy, and you can't stop me. Your dead. You may be partially responsible for my existence, but you are and never will be my father.”_

“ _Hold your tongue, faggot.”_

_I go to respond but that word made me choke on my words._

“ _You will end things with Potter, or you will pay with **his** life.”_

“ _No Lucius! No!” I plead._

 

**Harry POV**

 

“No Lucius! No!” Draco screams.

Me, Pansy and Hermione all share looks of concern.

“I guess that dreamless sleep draft didn't work.” Pansy states.

“It never does.” I sigh. I hate to see him suffer like this. He has been through just as much as the rest of us, if not more. I don't care what everyone else in this bloody school says, he deserve a peaceful year.

The Slytherin boy begins to cry hysterically in his sleep. I go to try and calm him down, but Pansy swoops in first. “Sssshhh... It's okay Dray.” She coos, gently trying to wake him up. He shoots up, startled and tears continuing to pour down his face. “Another nightmare?” She asks, caressing his back.

“Yeah.” He replies.

“What was it this time?”

“It doesn't matter. I just want to forget about it. It was a stupid nightmare... No big deal.”

“But that's the fourth one this week.” I say.

“He's right, Draco.” The Slytherin girl agrees. “Please tell us.”

The blonde pulls his knees to his chest. “Just leave it alone.” He warns staring at the sheets.

We go to respond, but Madam Pomfrey interrupts. “Hello Mr Potter, Miss Parkinson, Miss Granger... Good morning Mr Malfoy, I trust that you had a good nights sleep.”

“Yes.” He grumbles, in response.

The nurse moves to the right side of Draco's bed. “Let me take a look at you arm.” She tells him, taking hold of his arm. He looks like he is about to fight Pomfrey, but a glare from Pansy keeps him at bay. The big woman pulls up his sleeve and unravels the bandage. I can't help, but gasp at the angry cut. I didn't realise how bad it actually was, in the midst of all the drama bringing him here. The blonde shoots me a glare, while Madam Pomfrey hovers her wand over the cut on his arm. She says a healing spell and the cut closes over.

“Why didn't you use that when he was first brought here?” Hermione asks, needing to know everything of course. Even if I was thinking the same thing.

“Oh my, no. The cut was far too deep and bleeding so much, using magic would have only increased the risk of him dying. His body was already working over time to pump what blood was left around his body. He would not have been able to hand it. I also wanted to keep him here under a 72 hour suicide watch.” Pomfrey explains. “But I am afraid Mr Malfoy that cut will scar.”

 

“It doesn't matter.” The Slytherin boy answers.

“Right... now that is done, you are free to go. I do not want to see you back here with anything like this again, Mr Malfoy. Is that understood?” The medi witch warns.

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey.” He groans, standing up. He wobbles a little, but manages to balance himself. Then he leaves the hospital wing without so much as a word to the rest of us. Naturally we follow him.

“Where are you going?” I call to him.

He stops in the hall and turns around to face us. “Not that it's anything to you, Potter.” He spits. “But I am going to _my_ dorm room to shower before classes.” Then he storms of towards the dungeons. Pansy give me and apologetic look, before running after him.

“Well he seems back to his cold self.” Hermione states.

“Yeah, it does seem that way. Let's just go to breakfast. We'll see him in class.” I reply.

When we reach the great hall, we sit down at the Gryffindor table. Hermione passes me a cup of coffee and takes one for herself.

Just as I take a sip from my cup Ron plops himself down beside us. “Sorry I'm late. I slept in.”

“We figured as much.” Hermione replys to her boyfriend. “Malfoy was discharged from the hospital wing this morning.”

Ron turns to me. “Harry, why didn't you bloody wake me?”

“Have you been on the receiving end of the slaps you dish out to whoever is unfortunate enough to have to wake you?” I respond.

“Fair enough. So how is Malfoy?”

“Cold... He seems to be back to his old self.”

“Well that's good isn't it?”

“His old self before the war.” Hermione interjects.

“You mean he's an arrogant prat again?”

I sigh. “Yes. He is an arrogant prat again.” I confirm.

“Where does that leave you?” Ron and Hermione ask me at the same time.

“I don't know. I really don't know.”


	14. Building Bridges

**Pansy POV**

 

“Draco, wait up.” I call, trying to catch up to the blonde.

“Leave me alone Pansy.” He shouts back.

“What about Potter? He has been nothing but supportive and caring. How can you blow him off like that?” He ignores me and steps through the portrait hole. “Don't you dare ignore me, Mister Draco Malfoy!” I warn, as I follow him through the common room to his dorm. He opens his door and stops. “Stop being such a prat.”

“Shut up would you.” He snaps, is gaze not shifting for a second.

I follow his gaze into his room. “What the hell happened?” I ask, continuing to look around the room. His clothes are all over the floor, there is toilet paper all over his bed post, a dildo on his bed with a piece of parchment attached and the word 'Psycho' written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror.

Once again Draco ignores me and walks over to the bed. He picks up the parchment and reads it. “What does it say?” I carefully ask.

“For the queer.” He answers. “I'm am going to kill that fucking Zabini.”

“How do you know it was Blaise?”

“Because I know his handwriting.” He storms back out of the room.

“Don't do anything stupid.” I say, walking behind him.

“I'm not. I am just simply going to punch his lights out.”

I try to grab his arm to stop him, but he pulls away and goes for the common room.

“Malfoy.” Blaise sniggers, seeing the furious look on Draco's face. “Like the new make over in your dorm. I'd say it's an improvement.”

“Yeah, well I'm about to improve your face, Zabini.” The blonde responds, launching for Blaise. He punches the dark boys face, knocking him to the floor. He then climbs on top of him and throws another punch.

“Get the fuck off me you gay psycho.” Blaise manages to throw him off and kicks him in the stomach, causing him to curl up on the floor.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” I scream, but they ignore me. The rest of Slytherin house crowd around the brawling boys and are cheering them on.

I run out of the portrait hole and bump into a teacher. “Miss Parkinson? What ever is the matter?” Remus Lupin asks.

“Sorry Professor. Blaise and Draco are fighting. Can you please come and break them up?”

I lead the way back into Slytherin with Professor Lupin right behind me. He walks through the crowd to the fighting boys. The werewolf pulls them apart with more rage than I ever knew he had. He is always so gentle. I suppose under the right circumstances anyone can surprise you.

“Right you two break it up... Zabini, Malfoy, my office now.” He orders, and they obey.

I want to follow, but I figure it's a better idea that I don't interfere.

 

**Draco POV**

 

I obediently follow Professor Lupin to his office, Blaise trailing behind me. When we get to his office Zabini and I occupy the seats opposite Lupin.

“Now which one of you are going to tell me what all this is about?” The potions Professor asks looking between us. I cross my arms, just glare at Blaise.”

“Well I was in the common room minding my own business, when Psycho Malfoy here attacked me for no reason.” Zabini tells, innocently.

“For no reason...” I laugh. “You fucking trashed my room, you dick. And stop calling me a psycho! You already wrote it on my bathroom mirror, you don't need to sound like a broken record.”

“Malfoy, language.” The Professor then turns to Blaise. “Mr Zabini, did you trash his room?”

“No!” He denys.

“The truth.”

“Fine... but it looks a hell of a lot better. I did the psycho a favour.”

“I am not the psycho, you're the one who messed up _my_ room. You are the one who stopped being my friend and started shooting me dirty looks and trying to turn Pansy against me. Why? What did I do to you to make you hate me so much? ” I hiss.

“Is this true?” Professor Lupin asks Blaise. “You know we don't tolerate any form of bullying at Hogwarts.”

“I'm not the queer that slit his wrists.” He spits.

“That is none of your fucking business and neither is who I date. You lost that right when you terminated our friendship.” I retort.

“Draco, I'm not going to tell you again... and Blaise if I hear you using homophobic language again, I will have you in detention the rest of the school year.”

“Sorry, Professor.” Blaise and I answer together. “I am not the one who terminated our friendship.” Blaise continues. “You did when you cut me off all summer, you didn't even tell me you were gay. I had to hear it from Crabbe and Goyle taking the piss out of you.”

“I cut everyone off this summer. I lost both of my parents and there was a lot more going on. What did you expect? You know I don't handle change well. I just wanted to isolate myself, I didn't mean to hurt you. And I didn't even know I was gay until a few weeks ago,. You haven't exactly helped me in accepting myself, given the state of my room”

“I didn't mean to, but you did hurt me and I don't know... I just got so angry at you. You, me and Pansy have been best friends since we were 6 years old. It has always been us against the world. It just seemed like you were shutting me out this year and only letting Pansy in.”

“I didn't let her in. She forced herself in and I didn't dare argue. You know she is a force to be reckoned with.”

“Yeah, she is that all right.” He laughs. “Look man, I'm sorry about your room. I'll help you clean it up. Are we good?” He asks holding out his hand.

I hesitate, but decide I don't want to fight with him any more. “We're good.” I reply, shaking his hand.

Lupin smiles at us. “Good. Now that you two have built a bridge... you will both be serving detention with me this evening for your fight earlier.”

“Fine.” Blaise and I moan in unison. We then leave and head back to the dungeons.

When we reach my dorm room, we are surprised find that it is no longer a mess. As soon as we step in Pansy pounces on us.

“What the hell were you thinking, Draco?” She asks slapping my arm. She then slaps Blaise's arm. “And how could you, Blaise?” The angry girl then sits us on my bed. “You two are not leaving here until you talk and make up.”

“Pansy.” I say, standing up and placing my hands either side of her shoulders. “We already did. We talked it out in Lupin's office and we are friends again.”

She turns to Blaise and he nods in agreement. “Then why have you been such a dick to Draco?” She asks slapping his arm again. I have to say I am kind of enjoying this.

“I thought he was cutting me out, I got pissed off. He didn't answer me all summer.”

“He didn't answer me either, but I forced him to talk to me first day back. You didn't even try, you just blew him off.”

“Well he didn't tell me he was gay... he told you.” Blaise retorts.

“Because I was there for him, when he having a hard time figuring out. You just made it harder. For him. A person sexuality can be hard enough to come to terms with, without one of your best friends acting like he has disowned you.”

“I know and I am sorry.” Blaise sighs. “I was just pissed and I wanted to piss you off. I'm sorry for making you feel so shit. And I'm sorry I didn't try to save our friendship, but I'm willing now. If I'm not to late.” He finishes, giving me puppy dog eyes.

Pansy stares at me, and then at Blaise. “Would you two hug already.” She demands.

The dark-skinned Slytherin opens his arms to me. I roll my eyes at him and walk into his arms. “Your forgiven.” I surrender.

He then throws me on the bed and climbs on top of me, with his hands either side of my head. “So...” He begins, with a coy smile. “What's going on between you and Mr Harry Potter?”

“They're boyfriends.” Pansy replies, mockingly.

“I don't know any more.” I say, pushing Blaise off me.

“What you mean you don't know any more?” They both ask.

“I don't know if I like him like that any more.” I lie. “I mean, have you seen how he has been with me the past few days in the hospital wing? Talk about clingy.”

They both furrow their brows. “You liked the way he was with you in the hospital wing. I know you did because I haven't seen you that happy in so long.” Pansy responds.

“Yeah Draco, I've seen the way you look at him.” Blaise agrees.

“Well it was short lived.” I sigh.

Pansy sits down beside me. “You were perfectly fine when I visited you yesterday afternoon. Did something happen last night? Did he do something, Dray?” She asks.

“If he did something I am going pound him all the way to New York.” Blaise says, threateningly.

“We just made out a little. He was just... Harry. Besides I'm just not ready for a relationship. Now if you two don't mind, I would like to shower before Blaise and I's detention.” I say, shooing them out the door.

Once I am alone, I strip off my robe and clothes. Four days with out a shower and I can't wait to get under that water, and am smelling like my beautiful self.

I step in to the stream of hot water and welcome the cleansing feeling it gives. I shampoo and condition my luscious locks.

I try to resist the itch at my arm, but I need my fix. Especially after my night terrors. I know I'm just out of the hospital wing for going to far. However this time I am not trying to kill myself, I just need that relief.

I step out of the shower and open my cabinet. Just as I thought, Pansy has cleared it out. I close it over again and reach on top of the cabinet. I find it and step back in the shower.

Try as she might, she doesn't know my hiding places. I know she does it because she cares, but she doesn't understand. And I don't expect her to.

I bring the blade across my arm. That one is for Blaise, the next one for Pansy, then Snape and the fourth cut is for Harry. I watch as my blood runs with the water down the drain. When it stops bleeding, I get out and dry myself off. I get dressed in my room and then decide to bandage my arm. I don't want to risk anyone seeing my new additions.

Then I throw on my robe and leave for Lupin's office to fulfil my detention.

 


	15. Easing Tension

**Hermione POV**

 

Ron and I are having our weekly Friday night study date. And as usual Ron is procrastinating with a comic book, while I am almost finished both of my essays for Professor Snape. One on the dangers of possessive spirits and the other on why boggarts use our fears against us and how to counteract them. I highly doubt Ron has even finished the first essay.

“I love these muggle comic books.” Ron laughs. “This fat, ginger cat is so funny.”

“Oh you're reading Garfield?” I ask, sounding interested.

“Yeah. It's so funny.”

I give him a stern look. “How is your homework coming along? I assume it's finished as you have time to read a Garfield comic book.”

“Fine. I'll finish it now.” He moans.

I find myself giving out a satisfied grin. I feel so empowered when I manage to get him to listen to me. It really is because I care about how he does in his school work.

Poor Harry though. He has been moping around the common room all day. He's convinced him and Draco are over. No matter how much Ron and I tell him he is over thinking it, he doesn't listen. I really do wonder why Malfoy is so annoyed and cold all of a sudden. Maybe Harry did something or said something that upset him. Who knows?

“I have an idea.” I state.

“When do you ever not have an idea.” Ron says sarcastically.

I glare at him and then continue. “I have and idea to get Harry and Draco to talk to each other.”

Ron sits up and furrows his brows at me. “Mione, you know I love you. And you are bloody brilliant but... maybe you should stay out of it. Let Harry and Ferret Face work it out themselves.”

“My plan is...” I begin, earning myself an eye roll. “We take Harry to The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade tomorrow. I'll talk to Pansy and get her to bring Draco. Then you, me and Pansy will leave forcing Draco and Harry to talk to each other.”

“And what if Malfoy buggers off?” Ron points out.

“He won't and if he does Harry will run after him.”

“And then what? Harry will take Malfoy right there in the street. How romantic.”

“It will work.” I say, punching Ron's arm.

“If you say so love.”

 

**Pansy POV**

 

Blaise and Draco are stuck in detention, and I am bored out of my mind. I am so bored that I have completed both my essays for Snape _and_ my homework for potions. With all that done I decide to go to the library, to see if I can find away to deal with Lucius. I love Draco to the moon and back, and I hate seeing him in so much pain.

I flip open an ancient looking book called  _“Undead, ghosts and what to watch out for.”_ Seems like a fitting title, to what we are up against. Just as I am about to begin reading it, Hermione Granger approaches me. “Hello?”

“Hello, I have a plan I want to run by you.” She says, taking a seat beside me.

“Okay... I'll bite.” I answer.

“It's no secret that there is something wrong with Draco. And Harry is convinced he's done something. As a result he has been moping around all day and now he is refusing to leave his room.”

I give her an understanding nod. “You're right. There is something else wrong with Draco. Blaise and I tried to get it out of him earlier, but he wouldn't tell us. I thought maybe your Potter said something or pushed him into something he wasn't ready for.”

“Harry would never do that!” Granger snaps.

“I know. Draco said that he didn't, that he has been nothing but amazing with him. Potter really is a good guy and I like him. I think he's good for Draco. I've seen how happy he makes him, when Harry visited him in the hospital wing.”

“So you agree we need to do something?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” I agree. “What is your plan? I am up for anything that will get them talking.”

“I was thinking.” The Gryffindor girl begins. “That Ron and I can take Harry into Hogsmeade to The Three Broomsticks tomorrow. Then you and Blaise, if he wants to help, can take Draco in...”

“Then we leave so that it's just Potter and Draco. If it's just them, then they have to talk to each other.” I finish.

“Precisely.”

“But hold on. If I know Draco, he will run off.” I point out.

“And if I know Harry, he will run after Draco. They will talk, trust me.”

“Okay. We will make it happen.” I say.

The Gryffindor then turns to the book I have out. She gives me a curious look, so I show her the cover and I think she understands. “I'm trying to find a way to get rid of Lucius.” I explain.

“Truth is, I have been searching every book in here for that.” She admits. “I thought this was supposed to be a drama free year at Hogwarts.”

I furrow my brows at her. “When has that ever happened?” I ask rhetorically. I turn a few pages of the book, but I nearly fall of my seat when Granger slaps her hand on the book. “What the hell Granger?” I snap.

“Sorry, but look.” She replies, pointing to a paragraph in the book. “It's a spell. ' _Enora'_.”

“What does it say it does?” I ask, hoping we are on to something.

“ _Enora, is a spell that drains the energy of a possessive spirit, benevolent or malevolent._ ” The Gryffindor reads.

“What's the difference?” I ask, dumbly.

“Malevolent is bad, benevolent is good.”

“Well Lucius is definitely bad. What else does it say?”

“ _This spell forces the spirit away. However it is only temporary so that the spirit can regain it's energy. It can last from a minimum of two days, to a maximum of two weeks.”_

I sigh. “I suppose that's something. It can buy us a few weeks to find a more permanent solution.”

“That was a brilliant find, Pansy.” Granger compliments me.

“I know.” I answer, arrogantly. “And who said you can call me Pansy?”

“Oh... sorry, Parkinson.” She apologizes, shyly.

“I am only joking, Hermione. We're friends now, so we may as well be on a first name basis.”

“I suppose we are friends as we have Draco and Harry in common.”

“Drarry.”

Hermione bursts into a fit of laughter, earning us a telling off from the librarian. “Drarry... I like that.” She tells. “That's what I am going to call them two from now on.”

 

 

**Harry POV**

 

I've spent all day trying to confine myself to my room, but it's not exactly entertaining in here. I go into my trunk and pull out the Marauder's Map. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” I say as the map reveals itself. Naturally, I search for Draco on the map. I find him in Professor Lupin's office with Blaise Zabini. Feeling a twinge of jealousy, I storm out of Gryffindor towards where the two dots are located.

Apparently jealousy is blinding, because I don't see a thing until I run smack into Professor Snape. I quickly place the map in my robes, before he can confiscate it.

“Watch where you are going, Mr Potter.” Snape tells me in his usual sharp tone. That indicates that he is in fact Severus Snape... for now anyway.

“Sorry, Professor. I'll be more careful.”

“Make sure you do. Now follow me to my office... we need to talk.” He orders me, leading the way to his office. I do as he says and follow him.

 

I sit myself down in the chair opposite the Professor. “I am sure you are wondering why I want to speak with you.” He states, matter-of-factly. “I have noticed how my Godson looks at you, and how you return that same look.”

“It's nothing... we're nothing... I swear.” I stutter.

Snape motions for me to calm down, and so I do. “Mr Potter you can't lie to me. I gave your mother that same look. I would have given my life for her. I always did, and I always will love her. Always.”

I feel my cheeks going red at the thought of Draco, so in hopes that Snape doesn't notice I look down at my hands. Of course it doesn't work. “Now don't tell me that _you_ the boy-who-lived _twice_ , is going shy all of a sudden. For goodness sake boy, you kissed Draco's forehead right in front of me in the hospital wing.”

“I was the one who found him.” I say, feeling defensive.

“Yes, that reminds me I must take 20 points off Gryffindor for sneaking into another house.”

“But that's not fair.” I retort. “If I hadn't, Draco would have died.” The thought of him dying makes my eyes burn with tears.

“My word is final Potter.” I go to say something back, but Snape glares at me so I hold my tongue, for fear of it being ripped out. “Thank you, Potter... for saving him.”

“No problem.” I reply, surprised. Somehow I know there is something else the Professor wants to speak to me about. So feeling bold, I ask, “What else did you want to speak to me about?”

“I know Draco is gay.” Snape says calmly.

“You know... I mean... What?” I mumble, choking on my words.

“Of course I know. I raised the boy. I have known since he was small, that's why I spent so much time protecting him, and trying to keep as much distance between him and his father. It's something that Lucius would not approve of.”

I find myself speechless.

“What I want to know is, if you and my Godson are an item?” The Professor asks me simply.

“I think so... no... I don't know.” Snape brows furrow, showing his confusion. ”Before I found him, I asked him to be my boyfriend, and he said yes. But this morning when he was released from the hospital, he was really cold with me. I've been wondering if I did anything wrong.” I sigh.

“Did you?” Snape asks accusingly.

“I don't think so, but he has been having nightmares lately. Well... more like night _terrors_.” I answer, shifting my gaze a lot. Finally my eyes rest on the eyes of the dark man in front of me. “If you know Draco is gay... then do you know about what Lucius did to him?”

“If you mean the beatings of course. I was unfortunate to be present several times, I tried my best to stop it, but with Voldemort also present most of the time it was difficult. I was the one to heal him physically and comfort him emotionally. However something else happened at those meetings between Draco, Lucius and Voldemort. I wasn't allowed to attend and although Draco would never tell me what it was, it was obvious as he was always much more distraught after those meetings.”

“I think I know why Draco tried to kill himself. I think it might actually be my fault, I know what happened at _those_ meetings.” I say fearfully.

“Explain, Mr Potter.”

“I don't think Lucius would be so disapproving of Draco liking guys.” I pause, afraid to continue. I don't want to give Draco another reason to hate me, but if I don't his Godfather will never understand. “In the meetings with his father and the dark lord... Voldemort would have Lucius do things to Draco... bad things. He said it was a means of punishment and that it would make him stronger. I think it was just a bastardly evil thing. The reason he was much more distraught after those particular meetings is because he was raped.” Once again, I feel the burn of tears in my eyes. This time I allow them to fall.

Snape looks as though he's been slapped in the face, clearly he didn't know. “I want you to leave.” He whispers.

“Pardon, sir?”

“Get out!” He yells. I don't dare argue with him and leave. As I step outside, the door shutting behind me. I hear what sounds like breaking glass, followed by screams and finally sobbing. I've never heard Professor Snape cry before, so it is a very strange sound to hear.

 


	16. Pushy Conversation

**Draco POV**

 

“I don't want to go.” I moan.

Pansy grabs my arm. “You're going!” She orders dragging me out of my dorm. It's bad enough she forced me out of bed at the ungodly hour of 8am. Then she forces me to shower, put ' _guy liner_ , as Pansy calls it' on and dresses me like I'm her personal Barbie doll. Now she is dragging me to breakfast, so she can eventually drag me to Hogsmeade.

I decide to whine at her. “But, why?”

“Because you need to get out of Hogwarts. You've been stuck in the hospital wing for days and then we were stuck in detention with Lupin.” Blaise adds, taking hold of my other arm. Great, she has reinforcements. I let my feet drag along the floor, trying to make it more difficult for them. I soon decide I don't want to destroy my shoes, so I follow them willingly to the great hall.

We all sit down at the Slytherin table. “If we are going to Hogsmeade, then why are we in the great hall?” I ask, curiously.

“Because...” Pansy begins. “You need to eat up some breakfast before we go. Pomfrey is an _okay_ cook, but you need some proper food.”

“I'm not hungry.” I protest. “Can we just leave already. I want to get to Hogsmeade, so we can leave Hogsmeade.”

“Sometimes you really are impossible, Draco Malfoy.” Pansy huffs at me. And I lead her out of the great hall, Blaise grabbing a piece of toast, following behind us.

I'm glad the Slytherin trio is back together. It's like Blaise said yesterday, it has always seemed like it's us against the world. I used to think I could get through anything with Blaise and Pansy by my side. They are probably the reason I survived my fathers abuse. No matter how bad things got, I always knew they would be there for me. I know Slytherins are known for being cold hearted bastards that can't even trust one and other. But we were always different, I don't really know why but we were, and I'm glad.

“You okay, Dray?” Pansy asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah. Just thinking.” I reply, as we are crossing over into Hogsmeade.

“Oh dear, Malfoy. They say that can be dangerous.” Blaise says.

“Whatever, Zabini.” I grumble.

 

 

**Harry POV**

 

So today Ron and Hermione are taking me into Hogsmeade. I don't mind, it has been a while since I've had a butter beer. And it's been a while since the three of us have hung out without any drama.

I hop in the shower, and just enjoy the sound and feel of the running water. It's peaceful. I get out and throw on a pair of jeans, and my favourite red shirt. I look myself over in the mirror. My dark hair is messy as always, but I like it that way.

“You coming, Princess?” Ron shouts in.

“Yes, I'm coming.” I answer, following him out the door. “And are seriously going to start _that_ again? Just cause I'm not into girls, doesn't mean I am one.”

“Sorry, mate.” He says, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I don't mean anything by it, just force of habit. I'll try and stop.”

“Thank you.”

We meet Hermione in the common room, and then we head towards Hogsmeade.

“I was beginning to think you two weren't coming.” She says.

“Sorry, Mione. Harry here insisted on getting dolled up.” Ron answers. I respond by glaring at him.

“Well I think you look wonderful, Harry.” Hermione tells.

“You would.” The redhead retorts.

“I just had a feeling that I wanted to look nice today. I don't know why.” I admit. Hermione and Ron share a curious grin. I am about to ask why but knowing them, they wouldn't tell me, so I just shake it off.

It's nice today. It is slightly dull, but at least it isn't raining. Even though it's not much there is a bit of sun.

We reach The Three Broomsticks, once inside we sit down at both in the back and wait to be served. I watch as Hermione shoots someone a nod. I follow her gaze to see Pansy entering through the door and Blaise dragging, Draco in behind her.

“This is a set up, isn't it?” I ask Hermione, my voice full of suspicion.

She gives me a sad look. “You two need to talk. I have no idea what happened, but I know you two are good for each other.”

“Thank you, Hermione.” I say, throwing my arms around her in gratitude. When I let her go she takes Ron's hand and they leave. I feel so blessed to have such amazing friends.

 

 

**Draco POV**

 

Pansy leads the way to The Three Broomsticks. When I realise where we are heading, I try to turn back. But Blaise grabs me, before I can get away and drags me inside. As we enter, Granger and Weasel are leaving. I look around the room, and just as I thought. There sitting at a booth in the back is Harry bloody Potter. “What the hell do you think you are playing at?” I ask Blaise and Pansy, sharply.

“Just talk to him, Dray.” Pansy begs.

“I don't want to.” I moan.

Blaise stares at me with a serious look. “What did Potter do?” He asks.

“Nothing!” I snap.

“Then talk to him.” They tell me at the same time. Pansy then stands behind me and starts shoving me towards where Potter is sitting. She forces me to sit beside him.

“Right you two talk to each other.” She orders.

“Yeah, we'll leave you to it.” Blaise adds, following Pansy out.

“Hey.” Harry says, giving me that adorable awkward smile of his. Stupid Potter.

“Hi.” I reply.

“I ordered you a butter beer. I hope that's okay.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Our drinks arrive, and I take a long gulp. I really don't want to be here. I don't want to be around him. It's too hard.

He takes my hand, and I meet his gaze. “Did I... Did I do something wrong?” He asks, sadly. I swear, he looks like a wounded puppy. With his scruffy hair.

“No, you didn't do anything.” I sigh. “Look I've gotta go. Bye.” I say, chugging down the last of my drink and leaving. I can't believe Blaise and Pansy set me up like that. Actually I think I can believe it. I walk through Hogsmeade, in the opposite direction from Hogwarts. I just want to get away. I have no idea where, I just know I need to.

“Draco wait up!” Harry calls after me. Typical.

“Just leave me alone, Potter.” I shout back, as I try to walk away quicker.

“No! Tell me what I did wrong. I've obviously done something to upset you. Is it because of the other night in the hospital wing.”

“Nothing!” I scream, turning to face him. “It has nothing to do with you, just stay out of it.” I pull a packet of cigarettes out of my pocket. I take one out, placing the packet back in my pocket. I then. light the cigarette in my mouth, and take a draw.

“Since when do you smoke?” Harry asks.

“Since I need another outlet for all this shit.” I snap, taking another draw.

“Stop it!” He orders. “It's not good for you.”

“It feels good. Now like I said the other night just stay out of my fucking life.”

“No!” The Gryffindor retorts, reaching to take the cigarette out of my hand. However I move quicker and am able to get another taste. I assume he has given up, as he just stands and stares at me. I stub the cigarette out and when I do the little sun there is disappears, and it begins to rain. “You're going to kill yourself with those, you know.” He finally speaks again.

“So what.” I spit. “Then you'll finally be rid of me.”

“Don't say that.” Harry cries, moving closer to me. He goes to put his arms around me, as the rain pours.

“Get the fuck away from me!” I scream, pushing the Gryffindor away. “I'm no good for you.”

“You're perfect.” He smiles, through the dripping of his hair. “You are my boyfriend. Of course you're good for me.”

“No I'm not.” I cry. “I'm only going to get you killed. You need to stay away from me. It's the only way I can protect you. I'm not safe... for anyone.” I dare to look him in the eyes, through my dripping fringe.

He steps closer to me and places his hands on my shoulders. “You don't have to protect me.” Harry says, staring at me. I refuse to stare back. I don't want to see the compassion in his eyes. I don't deserve it.

“I'm dangerous.” I whisper. Then I push him away again. “Snape almost died because of me. I was supposed to be the on to kill Dumbledore, but I was to weak to do it. The only reason Snape did was because my mother got him to make the Unbreakable Vow. He had no choice, meaning the Elder Wand became his. So of course Voldemort was going to kill him. And then there's you... you died.”

Harry looks at me sadly. “You can't seriously think that's your fault.”

“it is my fucking fault!” I yell. With that yell, I feel my energy leave me. I drop to my knees, the cold, wet ground causing me to shiver. “I'm pathetic.” I whisper. Burying my head in my arms, I begin to cry again.

I hear a splash, followed by a hand rubbing my back. “You are not pathetic.” I look up to see Harry also on his knees beside me. Without saying another he pulls me into his arms, and I just continue to cry. I don't know how long we stay this way, but the rain stops and the sun begins to set.

I sit up and look into _my_ Gryffindors eyes. Those emerald eyes, that I love so much. I do something I haven't done in a long time, I smile. A genuinely happy smile. “I think I love you.” I whisper, not realising I said it aloud.

He wipes my pouring tears with his thumb. “I think I love you too.” He answers.

Scared, I quickly look away. “I'm sorry... I didn't realise... I said it out loud.” I stutter.

“I think I love you too.” Harry repeats, simply. I look at him again and the second I do, our lips meet. I'm not sure who initiated the kiss, but we both give into it. His tongue brushes my lips and I open them. I let out a quiet moan. When we break away, I throw my arms around him. He brings his arm around my waist, embracing the hug.

“C'mon we better get back to school.” Harry says, standing up. He then helps me up and takes my hand, our finger locking as we walk.

“I'm sorry for pushing you away. I just find it hard to get close to people sometimes.” I confess.

“You don't have anything to be sorry for. I know how hard all of this has been on you. And I understand how scary it can be to let people in. You're completely vulnerable, wide open to be hurt. Don't forget I've seen _those_ meetings, I know you have been hurt plenty before.”

I tense slightly at the mention of _those_ meetings, but I shake it off. “You've been hurt too.” I begin. “The way those muggle relatives of yours treat you.”

“Exactly. That's why I understand. I know what it feels like to feel unwanted. Not a second went by that my Aunt and Uncle didn't fail to make sure I knew how much they hated me.”

We are walking through Hogwarts now, towards the dungeons. “Well I think your Aunt and Uncle are a pair of dicks. If it's any consolation... I want you.” We stop at the Slytherin portrait hole.

Harry smiles at me. “I know, and I want you too.” He replies. I lean in and plant a kiss on his lips. “I love you Draco, but you need to do something about your tobacco breath.”

“Sorry, I'll try to stop.”

“Good.” He grins, pecking my cheek and leaving for Gryffindor Tower.

_I must remember thank Blaise and Pasny._ I think stepping into Slytherin.

 


	17. Hogs-Prom Invitations

**Ron POV**

 

So Harry didn't get back till late last night. When he did finally bring himself through the Gryffindor portrait hole, he was soaked. Me and Mione tried to ask him about what happened, but he just crawled straight into bed. I guess he did look tired.

I wake up this morning, and Harry is still as dead as a door nail. It's a Sunday so it's not like we have anything to get up for. But... I know Harry gets grumpy if he misses breakfast in the morning. So I decide to wake him up. As his best friend I have unwritten permission to wake him however I please.

Grinning, I walk into the dorm bathroom and fill a glass with water. I walk back into the room and stop at Harry's bed. _He looks so peaceful._ I think to myself as I watch him snore like a middle-aged man. Too bad I have to wake him up. My grin grows into a devilish smile as I pour the lovely cold glass of water over his head.

The second the water hits him, he bolts upright. Giving me the deadliest glare, he screams, “What the fuck, Ron?”

I just shrug my shoulders. “Your a git if you miss breakfast. I had to wake you.” I reply, simply.

“But did you have to wake me _that_ way?”

“Sorry, I couldn't resist. Now get in the bloody shower. You smell worse than Filch's cat.” I say, holding my nose just to piss him off.

“Whatever.” He groans, playfully shoving me out of the road.

I decide to leave him to it and go to meet Hermione in the common room. “Where's Harry?” She asks.

“He's just in the shower. He'll follow us down.” I answer, giving her a kiss on the lips. I take her hand and we walk out of Gryffindor, towards the Great Hall.

“What time did he get back last night?” Hermione asks.

“It wasn't till pretty late. I'm not sure exactly, but he looked tired. And he must've been in the rain, because he was soaked to the bloody bone.” I reply.

“I hope it went okay. We must ask him about it when he comes to breakfast.”

“We will.” I confirm. “But he really needs that shower. I swear he smelled worse than Mrs. Norris.” I laugh, as we enter the hall.

About ten minutes later Harry stroll in an sits beside us at Gryffindor table. He fills a bowl with coco pops and tucks in. “You smell a lot better now mate.” I say, jokingly.

“Cheers Ron.” Harry answers, sarcastically.

“So how did it go yesterday?” Hermione asks, Harry.

He drinks down the chocolate milk in his bowl, before responding. “He ran off.”

I roll my eyes. “Typical, stupid prat.” I spit.

Harry glares at me, and continues. “When he did I ran after him. He was in a weird mood, and it seemed like he was running away. He kept telling me to fuck off and he rambled on about how he is dangerous, and that he was trying to protect me. He still holds a lot of hatred towards himself... and he has cigarettes.”

“Malfoy, smokes?” I ask, choking on my tea. Harry nods.

“How long has he been doing it?” Mione asks.

“I don't know. All he said was that he needed another outlet for everything that is going on.” Harry sighs.

“What is his other outlets?” I ask, unable to hide my concern.

“I don't know. Anyway after the drama, I managed to get him to calm down. We sort of just sat in the rain all day, but I think we're good. We walked back to school together and I made sure he got to Slytherin okay.”

“I'm glad you two made up. I really am.” I say.

“Me too.” Harry cautiously answers, furrowing his brow at me. Hermione does too.

“Look Harry.” I begin. “I may not exactly like Malfoy. I mean our families are enemies, but... you care a lot about him. You're my best friend. Like I said, I don't care that you're gay. And I don't care that you have a boyfriend, even if it is Malfoy. All that matters is that you're happy.” I feel pretty happy with myself at how supportive I'm being with Harry being gay.

“Ronald Weasley.” Hermione says, sternly. “I don't think I have ever been so in love with you until now.” She then kisses me with more passion than I think she ever has before. I feel my cheeks burn as red as my hair, and can't stop myself from grinning.

“Yeah, Ron... your support really means a lot. I don't know if I've told you already, but thank you.” Harry tells.

Just then Malfoy enters the great hall and heads straight for the Slytherin table. “Don't look now, but you're boyfriend just arrived.” I say to Harry. He just grins, shyly.

 

**Pansy POV**

 

Blaise and I decide to wait in the Great Hall for Draco. I'm afraid he would tear us apart if we were waiting by his door. Sometimes it's impossible to know how to be around him. It's like walking on egg shells. However he seems happy enough as he comes over towards us. “Hello you two.” He says in a much _too_ cheery tone.

“I assume yesterday went well?” I ask, unsure of how this is going to go.

“On the contrary it went terribly. I ran off, I lit up a cigarette, I told him to fuck off countless times and I'm pretty sure we both have a cold.”

“Then why are you so cheery?” Blaise asks the blonde.

“Because he chased after me, I couldn't push him away. And believe me I tried. For so long all I've wanted is to fall in love with someone who really loves me...” A genuinly happy smile appears on his face as he continues, “He does... he loves me.” Just as quickly as the smile appears, it disappears. I see a tear roll down his cheek, he catches it and hides his face in his hands in an attempt to hide the following tears.

“Dray, What's wrong? He loves you... that's a good thing.” I say, pulling the crying boy to my chest.

“No it's not.” He mumbles.

I place a kiss on his blonde head. “Oh Dray, what am I going to do with you?” I say, rhetorically. “Help us understand why Potter loving you is a bad thing?” I love him, but I swear sometimes he can be such a puzzle.

He sits up, as I wipe his tears and he takes a few deep breaths. “Lucius... my father threatened Harry's life... if I don't end things with him...” Blaise and I look at Draco, wide eyed. “I mean it was a dream... but... what if he really does try to kill him?” Draco stutters.

“He won't.” I say, confidently. “Hermione and I have found a spell to rid us of Lucius long enough to get rid of him for good.” The second I say it, I see a twinkle of hope in my best friend's silver eyes.

“When did you start smoking?” Blaise asks, completely interrupting the moment.

“Yeah, I would like to know that as well.” I say, placing my hands on my hips.

Draco quickly shifts his gaze to the front of the hall. “Ssshhh Old Bat McGonegall is making an announcement..”

Lucky for him she actually is. So I let it slide... for now.

“Ech hum.” She says, clearing her throat. “If you would all quieten down, I would like to make an announcement.” She stares down the hall, and it instantly quietens. “Now I know this hasn't been the easiest school year with everything that happened during the war and such. So in two weeks time as a reward for all the hard work that has been put in this year, we shall be holding a Hogs-Prom. It is for the entire school. I hope you all have a wonderful time. You may continue with your morning meals.” The old green lady then sits back down in her chair.

“Great!” I huff.

“What's wrong Pans?” Draco asks me.

“A dance! An event that I have to wait around to not be asked to.” I groan. No one ever wants to go out with the pug-faced-girl. Even if I have grown more into my looks this year.

“I'll go with you Pansy.” Blaise says, with a shy grin.

I glare at him. “Blaise, if that's your idea of an invitation. Then you can shove it up your h-”

“What colour dress you wearing, Malfoy?” Crabbe sniggers.

Goyle laughs along. “Yeah, need to make sure you and Potter match.”

“Go fuck yourselves.” I retort.

“Don't need to with this dirty little slut.” Goyle grins, moving to grope Draco. I go to punch the tub of lard. Suddenly Draco seizes his fat wrist, and twists his arm behind his back.

“Don't ever try to fucking touch me like that again.” He warns. Crabbe and Goyle leave without another word, looking pretty scared.

Blaise holds out his fist for Draco to meet. He does. “I am so proud of you, Dray. You stood up for yourself.” I say.

“Yeah, man. You really surprised us there.” Blaise adds.

“I surprised myself.” The blonde admits, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Did you see their faces? They looked pretty scared.” I laugh.

“I don't think they will be messing with you anytime soon. Nice one, mate.” Zabini tells.

“It felt really good.” Draco smiles.

 

**Harry POV**

 

“Are you going to ask Draco to Hogs-Prom?” Hermione asks, practically jumping on me the second Professor McGonegall sits back down.

“I don't know, I guess so.” I say, slightly afraid of her.

“That's hardly an answer.” She tells me. “Honestly Harry, how are you going to ask him?”

“Yeah, mate. It has to be romantic.” Ron interjects.

“Oh really.” I say, with a coy smile. “How are you going to ask Hermione? It has to be romantic, _mate._ ” I throw back at Ron. He glares at me, his cheeks going Gryffindor red. Without another word he storms out of the hall.

“So?” Hermione asks, eyeing me.

I shrug my shoulders. “So what?”

“So how are you going to ask him?”

“I don't know. Why do I have to be the one to ask him?”

“Do you really think Draco Malfoy is going to ask you? Especially with everything that has _already_ happened this year.”

“I suppose you're right, but I'm no good with that stuff.”

“Lucky for you I am.” Hermione tells, grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the hall. She abruptly stops at the doors.

“Mione where are you taking me? And why did you just stop lik-” It's only now I notice a two trails of rose petals, both leading in the same direction. As we begin to follow the trail, the petals behind us disappear. The petal trail must be for us. We follow them to the bottom of the stairwell to the Astronomy Tower. We then share a curious look. I go to walk up the stairs when Hermione grabs my arm.

“We are not supposed to go up there Harry. We'll get in trouble.”

I give her a reassuring smile. “It's fine. Trust me.”

She is hesitant at first, but nods and we both make our way up the stairs. When we reach the top, there is Ron holding a dozen red roses. Hermione walks straight over to him, and he kisses her cheek.

“Will you Hermione Granger, please be my date to Hogs-Prom?” The redhead asks her.

She rolls her eyes at the goofy look he has on his face. “Of course I will, Ron.” She finally answers, kissing him on the lips. He hands her the roses, takes her hand in his, and the begin to descend the stairs.

“That was really cheesy you know, Ron.” I say, as they stop at the third step down. I haven't even noticed that only one trail has been confirmed. I've forgotten about my own trail. Hermione and Ron smile at me, then Ron looks past me.

“Are you calling _me_ cheesy then, Potter?” A familiar voice asks from behind me. I turn to the voice, to see Draco holding a single Slytherin green rose and a shy grin on his face. His moon like eyes so filled with hope and fear, pain and joy all at the same time. “Potter will you... will you...” He stutters, obviously nervous.

“Draco, will you do me the honour of being my date to Hogs-Prom?” I ask, helping him along.

“Hey!” The blonde snaps. “I'm supposed to be the one asking you.”

“Well?” I ask. “What's your answer?”

“Yes, I'll be your date.” Draco answers, extending the rose. I take it and kiss him our tongues instantly wrestling.

“Yuk!” Ron exclaims, cringing hard. “Gay make out session.”

“Oh Ron.” Hermione tells him off. “Honestly, they are together. I think they're adorable.”

“Doesn't mean I want to see the dirt.” He replies, leading Hermione down the stairs.

I turn back to Draco and give him another kiss. “So why did you choose up here to ask me?” I ask, also wondering how he and Ron managed to put this together in such a short space of time. After all the announcement was only made no more than half an hour ago.

“This is where we had our first kiss. I don't know, I thought it would be romantic I guess.” He responds.

“I didn't think you were the romantic type, but I love it all the same.” I smile at him.

He smiles back. “Neither did I. Suppose there's a first for everything.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you think.  
> Until the next chapter ;)


	18. Fearful Boggart

**Snape POV**

 

I have had quite a bit of trouble sleeping, I have no idea why. All I keep thinking about is that I should be dead right now. But I am not. That night I should have died... I know something else happened. I just can't remember what it was. I don't remember a lot these days. I've been having blackouts also. The length of them varies, and I have no memory of what happens in those blackouts. However Miss Pansy Parkinson has filled in a few of those blanks. According to the little witch, I have been violent towards Draco. Although I don't recall it. And I found out from Mr Harry Potter that the meetings Draco attended with the dark lord, and his father, the meetings that I was not allowed into under any circumstances, the meetings Draco returned from in complete hysterics. In _those_ meetings my dear Godson was raped. My poor boy.

I am currently sitting in my office, preparing for my lesson. As I mull over these thoughts a tear escapes my eye.

To be raped is a traumatic enough event as it is, but for it to have been done by your own father, and on more than one occasion. I can't even begin to imagine what Draco must have felt, what he must continue to feel. If I had known what was truly going on, I would have happily spent a life sentence in Azkaban for killing the bastard myself.

I rub my temples with my fingers, in hopes of easing the ache in my head. Knowing my class will be waiting, I down a pain relief potion and leave my office.

I burst in through the doors, the end of my cloak floating behind me in it's usual manner. “Right class. I trust you have all completed both assignments.” I say, in my natural tone.

“Actually... I... um...” Ronald Weasley mumbles.

“Well... spit it out Mr Weasley.” I order.

“I only got one paper completed, Sir.”

I roll my eyes at the red haired Gryffindor. “Then you shall go first Mr Weasley.”

“First at what?” The boy asks, furrowing his brows at me.

I motion the class to stand and with a simple spell I clear the room, leaving only a trunk in the middle of the room. “Every one stand in an orderly circle. Weasley come and stand by me.” The class does as instructed. “I trust you all remember the spell when facing a boggart from your third year. However in case not, the spell is ' _Riddikulus_ _'._ I wave my wand, opening the trunk. As expected a giant spider crawls out. 

The fiery haired boy begins to tremble. “ _Riddikulus._ ” He says, nervously. The spider then deflates making the noise of a whoopy cushion. The class erupts with laughter.

“Now just because Mr Weasley's fear was the same doesn't mean it will be the same for all of you. Sometimes our fears can change. Harry Potter, you're next.

The dark haired Gryffindor steps up to the creature. It morphs into an open closet filled with raw bacon. Mr Potters face turns from disgust to fear when the closet threatens to trap him. I can't help but find the sight amusing. Even more so when the spell turns it into a pink princess castle.

Next up is the Irish Gryffindor, as he holds out his wand he is faced with a smelly cow. “ _Riddikulus._ ” The cow turns pink and purple, with a frilly tutu.

“Draco Malfoy.” I call out to go next.

The blonde stands confidently before the boggart, his wand pointed at it. It morphs into Lucius Malfoy... at first. Just as Draco is about to utter the spell, the creature changes again. This time into a monstrous version of myself. The blonde's confident demeanour collapses when the other me moves towards him. He flinches and drops to his knees, trying his best to hide in his robes as means of defence.

I step in front of the cowering boy. I point my wand at the boggart. “ _Riddikulus._ ” The other me turns bright orange and begins doing an Irish jig. I wave my wand again sending it back in the trunk.

“Draco, go to my office I'll be up in a minute. The rest of you, class is dismissed. Now get out.” I order.

Mr Potter stays behind. “Sir, will Draco be okay?” The Gryffindor asks, sounding very worried.

I smile at his genuine concern for my Godson. I study his emerald eyes. They are so much like his mother's. I can clearly see how much he cares for Draco and I over heard those lards Crabbe and Goyle whispering about Draco and Potter being something of an item. As long as he makes him happy, I don't care who it is, even if it is Potter.

“It's okay, Mr Potter. I will speak with him. Now run along to your next class.” Potter nods and then leaves.

I return the room to it's original state. I sigh, thinking over what I just witnessed. I hate that Draco is so afraid of me, I only wish I could remember what I do in my blackouts. Deciding I don't want to leave my Godson waiting, I climb the stairs to my office.

 

**Draco POV**

 

Snape ordered me to go wait in his office. I reluctantly obey. I walk into his office and I see to comfortable looking chairs with a table in between them. I decide I'd rather sit in the corner, sounds fitting for a coward. I choose the corner behind the door. I sit down, bringing my legs up to my chest and I let myself cry.

A few minutes later I hear the door gently open. “Draco.” Snape calls softly.

“I'm over hear.” I mumble, wiping my tears with my sleeve. The dark man closes the door and sits down beside me.

“So Draco, what happened back there?” He asks, his voice full of concern.

“I just showed the entire class what a pathetic piece of shit I am.” He scowls me with his eyes. “Sorry.”

“Are you afraid of me?” Snape asks. I can hear the hurt in his voice, it almost makes me want to cry again. I remember what Hermione said about how he has no memory of what happens when Lucius is in control of his body.

“When it turned into my father, I became over whelmed with fear. And when it changed to you and came at me... I don't know... it was a reflex from when my father used to beat me.” I don't want to tell him the truth about everything, in case I upset him. Because it isn't his fault, it's my bastard father's fault. I know he has been getting called that a lot lately, but it fits.

“I understand that.” Snape replies, smiling weakly.

My wrist begins to itch, so I scratch it. Snape's gaze shifts to my wrist where I am scratching. “How is that? The self harm?” He asks.

“It's the same.” I sigh, unable to hold his gaze. I roll up my sleeves to show him several new cuts on both arms, however the angrier ones on the dark mark.

Snapes eyes widen. “Oh Draco.” He gasps.

I know landing in the hospital wing should have been a sign to stop, but it's not easy. “I'm sorry.” I whimper. “I really did try to stop. It's hard. I will get a bad feeling or thought and... I just have to do it. I try to fight the urge, but I usually cave. I am sorry. I know it's weak.”

“It is not weak Draco. It's just a way of coping, we all have them. Just because yours isn't the most healthy, doesn't make it weak. You have been through so much in seventeen years, I am proud at how strong you are.”

“How can I be strong when I have to do this to stay remotely sane. You're the strong one. You knew what you had to do for Dumbledore and you did it. You didn't falter, even with pretending to be loyal to Voldemort. I only wish I was a strong as you.”

“Perhaps we are more alike than you think.” He answers.

I give him a confused look and he rolls up his left sleeve. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, on his arm, like mine, was the mark with dozens of scars on top of it. Some thicker than others, some longer, some angrier. Unlike mine his scars were all white, they had obviously healed. I'm guessing they are maybe somewhere around five to ten years old.

“I used to self harm as well.” He continues. “It was worst when I had to go undercover for Dumbledore, I knew that in the end I would have to be the one to kill him. You see even though your mother and father said you had to be the one to kill him - it was never you. I hated myself for it. And even before that. When Voldemort went to the Potter's home, I ran to try and save them. However I was too late Lilly was dead and Harry was alone. I held her in my arms, but there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless and a blade seemed to be the only thing that helped.”

I can't help but notice how sad his eyes are. “Did you start cutting because Harry's mum died? Or because you got the dark mark?”

“Both. However I did do it when I was a student here too. Potter, Black and Lupin would bully me so it became one of my ways of coping for that as well.”

“I understand that.” I admit. “I get shoved about the halls and called names a lot. I'm kind of numb to it now. But it's not so bad, I have Pansy and Blaise at least.”

“And Harry Potter.” Snape adds. I blush. “I know you like him and that he likes you.”

“Are you mad that I'm gay?” I ask.

He softly smiles at me. “Of course I'm not mad. Love is love. And lucky for you the boy turned out more like Lilly, than he did James. I can see he makes you happy. That is good enough for me.”

“Yeah, he does.” I smile. “He asked me to be his date to Hogs-Prom. Well I was the one asking him, but he saw me struggling so he helped me along. I can't wait.”

Snape stands to his feet. “Right, come on you.” He says, holding out his hand to help me up.

I take it and stand up too. “Where are we going?” I ask.

“I am taking my Godson to get a suit for Hogs-Prom.” I nod and follow him out the door.

I am still a little embarrassed about what happened in class, but I am slightly glad it happened. I feel closer to my Godfather. And I'm really happy that he doesn't care I'm gay. This could be the start of something beautiful.

 


	19. Moaning Myrtle And The Green Snake

**Harry POV**

 

After classes Hermione decided to drag Ron and I into town to get suits for Hogs-Prom. “Why do we have to do this today?” Ron and I moan in unison.

“Because.” Hermione begins. “It's a little over a week until Hogs-Prom, and between trying to stay on top of classes and searching for a way to defeat Lucius' ghost... when else am I supposed to find a dress?”

“Couldn't you have taken Ginny shopping instead of us. Shopping is a girls thing.” Ron grumbles.

Mione lets out a sigh. “She's too busy with Neville. She never has anytime for me any more.”

“Sorry.” I say, pulling her into a hug. I can't help but feel guilty.

“Why are you sorry, Harry?” She asks, pulling out of the hug and resuming her lead with us into town.

“I don't know, maybe if Ginny and I were still together, she would hang out with you more.”

“But you wouldn't have been happy.” My two best friends respond.

“I know. Thanks you guys.” Suddenly my stomach begins roaring up a storm. Hermione and Ron snap their heads round at the sound. Just as my grumble finishes, Ron's stomach growls with more ferocity than mine just did. Hermione rolls her eyes at us. I just shrug my shoulders.

“Mione, you didn't let us have lunch before dragging us into town.” The redhead groans.

“Fine. We will grab a burger, but right after that I'm getting my dress.” She says, insistently.

“It's a good job the rest of classes are cancelled today.” I state.

Once in town we go to McDonalds. We all get a big mac and then we follow Hermione into a dress shop.

She drags us around the shop three times before finally deciding it does not hold the dress she is looking for. “The dress must be perfect.” She tells us.

Ron wraps his arms around Hermione's waist, making me jealous that Draco isn't here. “How will you know it's the perfect dress?” Ron asks her.

“I'll just know.” She replies.

 _Well that's reassuring._ I sarcastically think to myself.

We walk past a tux shop and as we do Hermione grabs both our hands, and pulls us inside. “You two also need a tux for Hogs-Prom.” She says, pinning several different suits against us. “Go try those on.” She orders, sitting in the chair by the changing rooms.

“Do we have to?” Ron moans.

Hermione gives him a blank expression. “Unless you want to wear that interesting suit you wore to the Yule Ball back in forth year.”

Ron's face whitens at the mention of it. “I'll be just a minute dear.” He says, bolting into the changing room. I laugh at the sight, before going into the changing room myself.

I try on four suits, before finally deciding on a black one with a scarlet bow tie and waist coat. Ron goes with a similar suit in navy and a purple bow tie and ribbon.

“Draco won't be able to keep his eyes off you, Harry.” Hermione tells me, casuing me to blush redder than Ron's hair.

“Eh hum...” Ron begins. “What about me?” He huffs.

“Oh Ron... you looked handsome too.” She says, rolling her eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek.

We go into another dress shop and that's when she spots it. _The perfect dress._ A long slim purple gown with lace ribbon from the back that attaches to the wearers wrists. Hermione picks it up and runs into the changing rooms. Ron and I wait outside. Five minutes later she emerges from behind the curtain. My jaw drops to the ground, as does Ron's.

“Woah.” Ron gasps.

Hermione grins. “Is it okay?” She asks, sounding insecure. A side I didn't know she had.

“It's the perfect dress.” Ron and I reply.

“You'd nearly have me going straight.” I say, truthfully. She really does look incredible.

“Yeah, well you have Malfoy.” Ron tells, sounding defensive.

I hold my hands up. “I said nearly. Don't worry, Ron.” I laugh.

His grumpy looking face softens and he pulls me into a hug. Probably guilty for blowing up over nothing.

“Right this is the one.” Hermione says, going back into the changing room. As soon as she is changed, she buys the dress and we leave.

We make our way back towards school, all of us lost in thought. Well, Hermione and I are anyway, I can't say the same about Ron.

“Of course!” Hermione screams, causing Ron and I to jump out of our skin.

“You scared the shit out of me, Mione.” Ron scolds.

I just laugh, and as I do his grumpy face returns. I turn to Hermione. “Of course what?” I ask.

“I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. What better way to get rid of one ghost, than asking another ghost how to do it.”

“That's a brilliant idea.” I compliment. “So who do we ask?”

“Definitely not Peeves. He'll tell McGonagall, and we don't want her sticking her nose in.” Ron replies, as we walk through the Gryffindor portrait hole.

“Okay here is the plan.” Mione begins. “Ron and I will talk to Sir Nicholas. Harry, you talk to moaning Myrtle.” She orders.

“Why do I have to talk to Myrtle?” I groan.

“She does like you the best.” Ron answers.

“Fine, I'll talk to her.” With that I leave my friends to go to the girls bathroom on the first floor. I am dreading this, but Ron is right she does like me the best. Even if it is because she fancies me, I am the best person to get information out of her.

I enter the bathroom, Myrtle is no where in sight so I sit on the floor by the sinks, and I wait. Thankfully I don't have long to wait, because after several minute she comes up through one of the sink drains.

“Oh Harry.” She says, pleasantly surprised.

“Hi, Myrtle. I need to talk to you.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” She giggles, shimmying close to me.

“I was wondering if you knew anything about getting rid of malevolent spirits?” I ask.

“The only way to get rid of Lucius Malfoy for good is by him accomplishing his unfinished business. I'm sorry I don't have any better answers, Harry.”

“You know about Lucius?” I ask, shocked.

“Of course I know. He sometimes comes in here. He is really mean.” Myrtle wines, bringing her cold hand to my cheek. “Oh Harry, we could be so good together.”

“Myrtle, you do know I'm gay.” I say, hoping she will back off.

She nods. “Yes. Your boyfriend, Malfoy's son comes in here too, but I like him he's nice.”

I smile at that. “Yeah, he is... wait Draco comes in here.”

“He is always sad when he does and he always has a pretty silver blade. It matches his eyes.”

“Why does he have a blade?” I ask, afraid I already know the answer.

She shrugs her shoulders, giving me an innocent look. “I've only seen him do it a couple times. He really does hate that tattoo on his arm, he uses the pretty blade to try and cut it off.”

“You mean he cuts himself.” I gasp, feeling tears burn in my eyes.

“Uh huh.” She nods. “Don't you know? You were the one that found him.”

“You know about that?”

“Obviously. He told me a couple days ago when he came in here again with his pretty blade. I didn't arrive until after he cleaned himself up but I knew he did it by the way he kept holding his arm. I like talking to your green snake.” She smiles, as she says it.

“I'll talk to you later Myrtle, I need to go find Draco.”

She glares at me and then suddenly smiles. “Okay. Bye bye red lion.” Myrtle tells, before going back into the schools pipes.

 _She really is weird._ I think to myself as I leave the bathroom.

 

**Hermione POV**

 

“Hurry up Ron! Otherwise we'll miss Sir Nicholas.” I order.

“You didn't even let me finish my crisps _and_ Nick is always in the Gryffindor common room.” Ron moans.

“Maybe so, but he isn't always alone. We can't exactly talk to him about it in front of a bunch of first years.”

“Yeah. They're mouths run bloody faster than Malfoy to McGonagall in first year.”

“Exactly.” I agree.

“But you owe me a packet of cheese and onion crisps.” Ron huffs.

“Fine.” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

We get to the common room and just as I said it, Sir Nicholas was alone. “Hello, Sir Nicholas can we please speak with you?” I ask, politely.

“Hello, Miss Granger, Mr Weasley. What can I do for you?”

“We wanted to know if you knew anything about dealing with bad ghosts?”

“I know Peeves can be a pain in the backside, but I would say he's a bad ghost.” Nicholas replies.

“It's not Peeves we need help getting rid of.” Ron throws in.

“What exactly do you want to know then?” The ghost asks, very seriously.

I clear my throat. “Is there any way of making ghost move on?” I ask.

Nicholas considers my question for several minutes, before answering. I must say I appreciate that he is taking it seriously. “The only time a ghost can't move on is if they have unfinished business and it isn't always clear what that business is. For example I still don't know mine and it's been a few hundred years.” His face saddens. “I'm afraid a ghost can only move on once that unfinished business is accomplished. However there are spells to temporarily keep them at bay, but that is all the information I have. I'm sorry I couldn't have been more help.”

I smile at him. “You don't have to apologize. You have been more than enough help. Thank you.” I respond. Ron just nods in agreement.

“If you don't mind me asking, Miss Granger. Who is the ghost that is troubling you?”

“I'm afraid we can't tell you, but you have been a great help.”

He flashes me an understanding smile. “I understand. I must go now, I intend to plead my case to join the headless hunt. Please take care.”

“We will.” Ron and I reply together.

Just as Sir Nicholas leaves, Harry walks in looking very troubled. “Blimey Harry, you look terrible. Are you okay?” Ron asks.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” He responds, dismissively. “Any way. What did you find out from Nearly Headless Nick?” He finally asks, changing the subject.

“We didn't get much.” I say. “It turns out the only way Lucius will move is when he accomplishes his unfinished business.”

“Yeah, Myrtle said the same thing.” Harry sighs.

“Then what are we gonna do?” Ron asks.

“I don't know.” I reply.

“Well there's a first.” Ron states.

Harry begins shaking his head, looking as though he's fighting back tears.

“Harry, what's wrong? Did something else happen with Myrtle?” I ask, my concern growing.

“I can't talk about it right now. I need to find Draco.” He answers, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and leaving for his room.

Ron and I share the same worried look. I really hope everything is okay.

 


	20. Crimson Tears

**Harry POV**

 

When I get to my room, I go straight for my trunk and I pull out the Marauders Map. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” I recite, waving my wand over the blank paper. It reveals itself and I can see that Draco is up at the Astronomy Tower.

The place we had our first date of sorts, our first kiss. The place he... well I asked him to Hogs-Prom. I can't help but smile at those thoughts. He really is adorable.

So once again I find myself leaving Gryffindor Tower to find my boyfriend. Hopefully this time I don't run into Professor Snape. I step out of the portrait hole and stop looking left and right as though I were at traffic lights. After deciding that the coast is clear I make my way to the Astronomy Tower. I climb what seems like a hundred stairs to meet the dot on the map. I look around but don't see him. So I walk to the edge and look out.

I totally get why Draco likes it so much up here. The sun is setting behind the horizon and the sky is painted with oranges and pinks. I heard someone say once that if the sky is pink at sunset, then the following day will be sunny and nice. I wonder if it's true?

“It's beautiful isn't it.” A familiar voice says from behind me, consequently pulling me out of my thoughts. I turn around to see Draco sitting against a wall, with his arm hanging over one leg and the other leg flat on the ground.

“Hey.” I smile. “Yeah, it is beautiful. I see why you like it up here so much.”

“I assume you didn't come up here for the view.” He says, nodding to the map in my hand.

“Oh... yeah...” I blush, pulling out my wand. “Mischief managed.” I say, putting it away.

I can feel my green snake watching me intently. “So why _are_ you up here?” He asks.

I sit down opposite him, crossing my legs. “I was looking for you.” I reply, taking his hands in mine.

“Why?”

His tone is sharp which worries me slightly. His mood changes are almost as drastic as Snape's. At least with Snape we know why, I just wish I knew how to make it better. “Because I care about you and I'm worried. I was talking to Myrtle earlier.”

“Why were you talking to Myrtle?” He asks, trying to keep his voice from shaking. However it doesn't work.

“Hermione figured that it would be a good idea to ask her about how to force ghosts to move on.” I pause for a second. “Who better to ask about ghost than a ghost, eh?” I say, with a slight laugh in hopes of lightening the mood a bit.

“I suppose that makes sense.” The blonde replies, with a lighter tone. “Your friend Granger is a bright one I'll give her that.”

I flash him a weak smile. “She's your friend too, you know.”

“I guess.” He tenses up again. “But if you tell her I said that I hex your balls off.”

“I won't.”

“Good.”

“Draco, are you okay? You seem a little off.”

He avoids my gaze. “I'm fine, just a little tired.” He responds, standing up and walking closer to the edge.

That's when I notice the crimson tears dripping from his sleeve. “What's that?” I ask him.

He follows my gaze and cusses under his breath when he notices the blood. “Oh nothing.” The blonde makes his way to the top of the staircase. “Look I have some assignments I need to finish up, so I'm gonna go.”

“I know you cut yourself.” I spit, before he reaches the fifth step down. His head shoots round and his eyes look terrified. He looks as though I am going to hurt him for hurting himself. The sight makes my heart bleed. “Myrtle told me about your pretty blade and the crying in the girls bathroom. It wasn't hard to put together.”

As soon as I finish explaining Draco rushes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist. “Please don't hate me.” He begs. I know he is crying because I can feel his tears soaking through my shirt, however I don't mind. Although I hate to see him in pain I cherish these moments, they make me feel closer to him.

I bring my arms around him, holding him close. “Of course I don't hate you. I love you and I'm really worried about you Draco. It's not good.”

He pulls out of the hug. “I know and I'm sorry.”

“Promise me you'll stop.” I plead.

He shake his blonde head. “I can't promise you that because it's not that simple.”

How can it not be that simple? You just stop hurting yourself. “Please Draco, promise me.”

“I can't.” He says, looking away.

I study him. He has his fringe hanging over his eyes like he is trying to hide behind it, and he as a firm grip on his own wrist. The one I assume he has recently harmed. “I don't understand.” I confess, weakly. My voice full of defeat.

“Exactly!” The blonde throws back. “You don't understand. Your Harry bloody Potter, everyone loves you, everyone is there for you. You don't understand what it's like to have the entire school hate you. You don't understand what it's like to have not choice in doing terrible, unspeakable things or face your father's fist. You don't understand how it feels to loath yourself so much that you just want to die. You don't understand how it feels to have this stupid fucking mark that I just want to cut off, but can't. You don't understand how it feels to be alone. To worry that I'm gonna say something or do something and fuck everything off. That if you see the darkest part of me that you'll leave. What's the fucking point any way. Everyone leaves in the end.”

So I know the human body is 97% water... I wonder what happens if you cry all that water out. I go to speak but choke on my emotions. “I... won't... ever... leave... you... Draco.” I somehow manage to blubber.

“You say that now-”

“I won't. I love you, which is is why I want you to promise you'll stop cutting yourself. It's dangerous, you could die.” I beg, interrupting him.

He stares at me with sad grey eyes. “I told you I can't, it's not that simple. It's like a drug and I'm hooked!”

“Fine.” I say, rolling up my sleeve. Then I walk up to him and reach my hand in his wand pocket. I think he has figured out what I'm doing because he glares at me. I pull my hand out of his pocket and he seizes my wrist. In my hand is his razor blade, I kind of figured that's where he would hide it.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Draco hisses.

“Well you said I don't understand, so this is me understanding.” I reply, with a twisted grin. I pull my wrist free and I bring the blade to my clean and bare arm.

“Don't you fucking dare!” He threatens. “You have no idea what you are doing.”

“I want to understand why you feel the need to do this.”

“This isn't the way to go about it.”

I ignore his pleas and drag the blade across my arm. “Shit!” I scream, as the cut begins to cry crimson tears.

“I told you not to!” Draco yells at me.

“Why do you like this? It hurts like hell.”

 

**Draco POV**

 

My idiot boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to cut himself to try and understand why I do it. If his arm wasn't bleeding I'd fucking thump him. However he doesn't seem to be enjoying it at all, which is great. It means he isn't likely to do it again.

“Why do you like this? It hurts like hell.” The red lion asks.

I roll my eyes. It's not like I didn't warn him. “Duh... That's why it is called 'self _harm_ '. It's hardly gonna tickle.”

“I suppose.”

“Now give me my blade back.” I demand, holding my hand out.

“Hell no!” Harry retorts. He walks to the edge of the tower and throws my blade away.

I would scream at him, but I have spares. Instead I take hold of his arm and I say a healing spell. The cut closes over and fades until his pale skin is once again clean. “Thanks.” He says, with a weak smile. Then his gaze shifts to the dried blood on my own sleeve.

I follow his gaze and give him a reassuring smile. “Don't worry about it. I kind of like the scars.” Harry then leads me over to one of the walls in the Astronomy Tower and we both sit against it, watching the sun go down. He puts his arm around me and I can feel him kiss the back of my head. I know we fight a lot but they always seem to end well. With the exception of a few weeks ago of course.

“Draco, please let all our fights end like this?” Harry asks.

I smile at his question. “Agreed.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“You don't have to answer. But why do you like the scars?”

“I don't really know, maybe it's something to do with being alive. I dunno.” I admit, genuinely unsure myself. I suppose they are a reminder of my weakness, however they are also a reminder that I'm not dead. I've been to hell and back, and I survived. I think that's something to be proud of.

“Can I see them?” The Gryffindor asks, cautiously. I reluctantly nod my head, giving him permission to roll up my sleeves. As he does I feel my anxiety weigh on my chest, making it a little difficult to breath. I think he can tell I'm anxious because he places a comforting kiss on my cheek. I instantly relax a little and he proceeds. His soft fingers trace the various stages of cuts and scars. He whispers something I don't quite hear.

“Huh?” I ask.

“They are battle scars.” He repeats. “With everything you've battled, your father in life, Voldemort and now Snape, and your father's ghost. Your scars are from battle and they prove how strong you really are.”

“Huh... battle scars. I like that.” I smile in response.

Harry then kisses both of my arms, including the dark mark, before rolling my sleeves back down. “Come on.” He says, standing up and holding out his hand.

“Where are we going?” I ask, taking his hand.

“It's been a long day and it's getting late. We both need to get some sleep.”

“I don't really want to be alone tonight.” I confess.

“I wasn't planning on leaving you alone tonight.”

I can't help but furrow my brows at his statement. “And how do you suppose that's going to work? Smarty pants.”

“Do you still have my invisibility cloak in your room?”

“Why would your cloak be in my room?”

“I used it to sneak into Slytherin the night I found you. I was so busy making sure you stayed alive I forgot it. If you bring it out to me I can use it to sneak in again.”

I nod and we leave the Astronomy Tower.

 

We walk down the halls towards the dungeons, hand in hand. Several students stare, a few whispering and giggling. Crabbe and Goyle shove us on their way past, not failing to call us faggots as they do. Even with all the negative attention Harry doesn't falter. That in itself encourages me to hold my head high as we walk.

We reach the dungeons and I go on into Slytherin, while Harry waits outside for me to get his cloak. I notice the common room is empty as I walk through to my room. Just as he said there is a peculiar looking cloak in a heap behind my door. I pick it up and go to him.

When we are both in my room with door locked behind us, my red lion begins to strip. “What are you doing?” I ask, a little afraid by what he might expect tonight.

“I don't want to sleep in my school clothes.” He laughs. “Don't worry, I'm keeping my boxers and vest on.”

I breath a sigh of relief. “Right, well I'm going to change in the bathroom.” The Gryffindor nods, and climbs into the emerald double bed. I come out of the bathroom a few minutes later in my pyjamas, and I climb in beside him.

“How come you get a double bed?” He groans.

“There are perks to having your own room.” I say, with a sly grin.

“Well... you deserve it.” He replies. “Anyway, goodnight Draco.”

I roll over on my side, facing the wall. I don't really deserve it, but I'm not going to tell him that. “Goodnight, Harry. I love you.”

“I love you too.” And with that, I allow dreamland to take me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update. I've been really busy.  
> I want to thank you guys so much for the kudos and for sticking with me through this story.  
> Until the next chapter ;)


	21. Skeletons In The Closet

**Hermione POV**

 

I've spent all day in the restricted section of the library trying to find another way to get rid of Lucius Malfoy. Every book says the same, that the ghost must accomplish their unfinished business in order to move on. The problem is, we don't know what Lucius' unfinished business is. Other than becoming the next dark lord, but that is not going to happen. What do we do? There is a quidditch match on this afternoon. Which is why I came to the library before classes. I won't get another chance otherwise. We need all the help we can get.

“Mione?” A familiar voice whispers.

“Over here, Ron.” I whisper back.

He sees me and quietly moves towards me, sitting down beside. “Any luck?” He asks.

I sigh. “It all says exactly the same as Sir Nicholas and Moaning Myrtle. Lucius must accomplish his unfinished business.”

“What the bloody hell is it?”

“I wish I knew.” I pause for a moment as a thought enters my mind. “We could... no... it's stupid.”

“What? What is it Mione?” Ron urges.

“We could as Lucius what his unfinished business is.”

“Are you mad? That'd be bloddy suicide, that would!”

“I know, but what other choice do we have?”

Ron consider my question before responding with another question. “Okay. How do you reckon we go about asking him?”

“I don't know yet. I can come back tonight, after the quidditch match and see what I can find.”

“No!” The redhead orders. “You've been in here every opportunity for weeks. You're exhausted. You need to rest love. There's always tomorrow.”

“But every minute we waste Lucius could be doing God knows what. The longer we take the more at risk we all are, especially Draco.”

Ron takes my hands in his and flashes me a weak smile. “Malfo- Draco's strong and he has Harry. And if it's that bad I can always have a look around tonight.”

“Do you even know what to look for?” I ask, furrowing my brows. He returns my question with a guilty look that makes me laugh. “I'll come tomorrow, after breakfast. After all tomorrow is Saturday.”

“That's my beautiful girl.” Ron smiles, pulling me into his arms. I hate to admit it, but Ron is right. I am exhausted. And I won't find anything if my brain can't function. I know we fight a lot, but we are good for each other. “Come on you. We better get to class or old bat McGonagall will go ape.”

I put the books back on the shelf and we both sneak out of the restricted section, heading straight for out first class. “Who's playing today?” I ask, Ron.

“Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, I think.”

“Is Luna playing?”

“I think so.”

“In that case I hope Hufflepuff have been practising.”

“Yeah. I nearly choked on air when I first saw how good she was on the field. Who would of thought Luna Lovegood had so much fire in her.”

“Ron...” I begin, raising an eyebrow as we turn a corner. “You did choke on air.”

As we enter transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall meets us with an unamused look. “And where have you two been? You're late.” She demands to know.

“Sorry Professor. We were in the library and I guess we lost track of time.” I answer.

“Quite. As this is an unusual occurrence for you Miss Granger, I shall let you off with a warning. However Mr Weasley, this is the second time this week you have been late to class. !0 points will be taken from Gryffindor.” The moment she says it all the Gryffindors in the room begin to moan and groan. “Quiet down. Miss Granger and Mr Weasley, would kindly take your seats.”

We both nod and do as we are asked.

I look around the room to see if Harry made it to class in time. Unfortunately I don't see him. Draco is absent too. “Did you see Harry this morning?” I whisper to Ron.

He shakes his head. “His bed was empty and clean. I don't think he had slept in it at all last night.”

“He did seem pretty flustered after he talked with Myrtle last night. I wonder what she said?”

“I don't know Mione, but I bet you ten quid it had something to with Draco.”

“You might be right there, Ron. Harry and Draco have failed to show up.”

“Yeah, well if that ferret has done anything to hurt Harry, he'll regret the day he was born.”

Professor McGonagall gives us both stern glare, telling us to be quiet and listen. So we oblige.

 

**Draco POV**

 

_It's Hogs-Prom, and Harry is in a stunning black suit that makes him look like James Bond. I am in the suit Snape got me, it is also black with an emerald skinny tie that makes me look quite dashing. If I do say so myself._

“ _That tie really brings out your eyes.” Harry compliments me. “It makes you look rather dashing.”_

 _Like I said... dashing. I don't think I could be any more happy than I am right now._ _“Not so bad yourself, Potter.” I reply, with a coy smile. He responds by lightly kissing the corner of my mouth, which makes me a little weak at the knees._

_To think I was so nervous about us going to this together. Hogwarts isn't exactly accustomed LGBT relationships. However this is perfect. Our friends are supportive and no one is saying anything as we dance together. Harry holds me in his arms as we sway to Iris by the GooGoo Dolls. “This is our song.” The Gryffindor says._

“ _I didn't know we had a song?” I smile back._

“ _Well we do now.” We both lean in for a kiss, but before our lips can meet I find myself falling to the floor of a dark, but familiar room._

_I stand up and look around the room. I knew I recognised it. This is the room in Malfoy manor we used to hold death eater meetings. The same room I was forced to all those meetings with my father and Voldemort. Suddenly I have a very bad feeling. Knowing I'm in danger if I stay here I head for the door. Just as I reach for the knob a familiar hiss causes me to be paralysed with fear. “My dear sweet Draco. Are you leaving so soon? The show has barely even begun.”_

“ _What fucking show might that be?” I spit back, turning to the evil skeleton that stands before me._

“ _Oh my dear boy, your father hasn't even arrived yet.” Voldemort replies, bringing his bony fingers to brush against my cheek. The fear kicks in again and I flinch. He gives me a sad look, that I know is bullshit. He hiss again before speaking. “Why are you so hostile Draco? You are normally more submissive.”_

_I know that in order to get rid of the skeletons in your closet you need to face them, but I'm not sure I'm ready for this. However if I don't I might regret forever. I return Voldemort's bullshit frown with a fiery glare. “You are the fucking reason for all the shit that has gone down in my life. It's your fault I'm hostile. It's your fault that I have to cut myself to feel something. It's your fault I tried to kill myself and I sometimes wish I didn't fail, and it's your fucking fault I'm gay.” It really does feel good to stand up to him. Even if I am terrified inside._

_For a moment I think I may have won, that is until Voldemort pins me against the wall with his wand pointed at my throat. “How dare you speak to me that way! You wanted everything you got, you little shit.”_

_I stare into his cruel lust filled eyes. “What are you waiting for, Tom? Go on end my misery, let it be the kindest thing you do to me.” His mouth curls into a twisted grin. “Go on, say the magic words.” I challenge._

“ _You will get your wish soon enough my dear boy. You will get your wish.” Just as he finishes, a shadow appears behind him. “Ah... Lucius. What perfect timing.” The shadow steps forward and it is indeed my father._

_I don't like this at all, because I know what comes next. Voldemort steps away from me and I take this as a chance to get away. Once again I head for the door, but I am slapped to the floor before I can reach it. Voldemort tries to restrain my arms, while my father tries to restrain legs. However I refuse to let this happen again, I don't want to hurt Harry. So I fight back with everything I have. I try to get my wand out of my robes, but it's not there. Since I don't have magic, I kick at my father and I try to bite Voldemort so that he can't hold me down. Despite my best efforts my father manages to pull off my trousers. “Lucius, please don't do this.” I plead, tears pouring down my face. I already feel disgusted, knowing my pleas are meaningless._

“ _Let us make young Draco, more obedient.” Voldemort sniggers._

“ _With pleasure.” Lucius agrees. He then stands and aims his wand at me. When I stare into the eyes that were supposed to love and protect me, all I see is a cruel hatred that I know is towards me._

“ _Please father... if you ever loved me, please just... just... kill me.” I whimper. If only I could be so lucky. I think I might have gotten through to him as he is lowering his wand. A tear escapes his eye._

_Unfortunately Voldemort sees it too. “Lucius, do it!” He orders._

_The moment he says it, my father face turn cold again as he raises his wand to me. “Crucio!”_

 

I shoot up screaming, Harry beside me trying to calm me down. I'm not fully aware yet that it was only a nightmare. I bring my knees up to my chest and I look around to find I'm in my bed, in my room. My biggest relief is that Voldemort and my father are no where to be seen. “Draco, are you okay?” Harry asks, very concerned. He gently places his hand on my back, but I flinch.

“Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a stupid nightmare.” I reply.

He cautiously wraps his arms around me and I allow him to hug me. “It seem like more than _just_ a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?”

I consider what I would have normally done. That being tell him no and taking it out on myself later. However I do want to get better, and I don't want to shut him out again. I lift my head up and smile weakly at him. “Okay, I'll talk about it.”

“You can begin when you're ready.” Harry says, pecking me on the lips.

“It started off as a really great dream. We were dancing at Hogs-Prom. Iris was playing and you said it was our song. It was perfect.”

“So what was so bad about that?” The Gryffindor asks, sounding very confused.

“Suddenly I was knocked to the floor and when realised where I was Voldemort appeared.” Harry visibly tenses at the mention of his name. I find myself comforting him.

“What happened then?” He asks. Although I don't think he really wants to know the answer.

I take a deep breath and I continue. “He asked me why I was being so hostile towards him, so I blew up and I stood up to him. He didn't like that so he pinned me against the wall and pointed his wand at my throat. I dared him to kill me, but then my father showed up. Then they both tried to restrain me so my father could... defile me. I fought back with everything I could, but it was no use. Eventually Voldemort decided I'd be more obedient under the torturing curse. So my father said the spell. Then I woke up.”

“I'm so sorry you had to relive that.” The red lion says, with tears running down his cheeks.

I wipe his tears with my sleeve and I shake my head. “Don't be. I stood up to him and it felt really good to face my skeletons. Yeah the whole thing still hurts now, but I know it will get better. I will get better. I have you, Pansy, Blaise and even Snape.”

“Well I'm glad you were able to take something good from it. And you do know you have Hermione and Ron too, right?”

I nod. “Hey, what time is it?” I ask, worried we might be late for class.

“It is...” He begins, looking at his watch. “Shit!”

“What?”

“It's eleven O'clock.” Harry gasps, scrambling for his clothes.

“Shit!” I agree, running into the bathroom to change. As I leave the bathroom Harry goes for the door. “Harry, wait!”

“What is it Draco? McGonagall is gonna kill us enough as it is.”

“Then don't let her catch you walking out of Slytherin.” I say, handing him his invisibility cloak.

“Good point.” He agrees, as we leave the dungeons.

 


	22. Shoes On The Bed

**Draco POV**

 

So Blaise and I are sitting at the Gryffindor table for dinner. As Weasley refused to sit at the Slytherin table. To be perfectly honest I don't blame him, the rest of Slytherin house is becoming more and more unbearable every day.

I'm not overly hungry, but with all of them watching my every move I make what I hope is a satisfying effort to eat. Even if it is only a bit of mash potatoes and a slice of chicken.

“Where the hell is Pansy?” Blaise asks. She was supposed to meet us so we could discuss a plan of action for the next Lucius encounter, or attack depending on how he is feeling.

“She's probably still pissed at you over that shitty Hogs-prom invitation.” I tease.

“What was so bad about it? She was moaning that no one would ask her. So I did.” Blasie says, not seeing his mistake.

“And that's where you went wrong.” Granger buts in. “You asked her because _she'll do_. A girl wants to be swept off her feet, made to feel like she's wanted.”

“I guess I really dropped myself in it.”

I place a reassuring hand on Blaise's shoulder. “Yes Blaise, you really did.” I agree.

“You're not supposed to agree.” The dark Slytherin wines.

Harry goes to say something, but is interrupted when Pansy storms in. “And what time do you call this Parkinson?” Ron questions, raising an eyebrow.

Pansy crosses her arms at him. “Well Weasley... I'd say it;s time to check for your balls, but you don't have any.” She then flashes him an arrogant smile. “Sorry.”

We all begin laughing even more so at the embarrassment on the weasel's face. He shoots us all a deadly glare.

“What's up Pans?” I ask her, still giggling a little.

“I need to show you something.” She answers, grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the Great Hall.

“Pansy, what the hell is wrong?” I ask, laughing slightly.

“It's not funny!” She snaps, continuing to drag me through the halls towards the dungeons. I heard footsteps behind us going down the dungeons stairs. I turned around and that is when I realised the whole crew is also coming to see what has Pansy riled up. However she doesn't see them until we reach the portrait. “Why are you here?” She asks, Harry, Granger, Weasley and Blaise.

“We're all friends now. So we want to know what's up.” Harry answers. I love how cute and sweet he is being concerned for my friends.

“Fine, whatever.” Pansy responds, rolling her eyes and abruptly dragging me through the Slytherin common room. Surprisingly the Gryffindor trio manage to follow us through with ease. Maybe they sweet talked the painting. It wouldn't be hard as it's such a push over.

We reach Pansy's dorm room and honestly I don't see anything out of the ordinary. “Pansy, what the hell is wrong? I don't see anything out of place.” I say.

“Nothing out of place.” She huffs, with a high pitched tone. “Dray, look at that.” She points at one of her bed posts, and on it is a pair of converse tied to the post with a scroll poking out of one of them.

“Who put them there?” Hermione asks.

“Well if I knew that I wouldn't have dragged Draco up here, now would I?” Pansy answers, her pitch still slightly higher than normal.

“Did you think about reading the note?” Blaise asks.

“I was scared. Why would someone sneak into my dorm tie a pair of shoes to my bed posts and leave a note in one of the shoes?”

“There's only one way to find out.” Harry responds, nodding to the shoes.

Pansy then climbs up on her bed and unties the shoes. She then removes the scroll and hands it to me. “You read it Dray, I can't” She tells.

I unroll the scroll and I skim over it before reading it aloud. “ _Dear Pansy, I am writing this because I would like it very much if you would go to Hogs-Prom with me. If your answer is 'yes' then meet me by the Black Lake at 7pm tonight. If you don't show I'll know your answer is 'no'._

 

_Sincerely L._

 

_P.S. Look for the golden light._

 

“Someone's asking you to Hogs-Prom.” Blaise smirks.

“No shit Sherlock.” Pansy grumbles, punching Blaise's arm.

“Who do you think it is?” Granger asks.

“Maybe it's Leo Gardener.” Weasel suggests.

“From Ravenclaw?” She asks.

“Or Laura Jones.” I tease.

“It's not a girl.” Pansy retorts.

“How do you know it's not a girl?” Harry asks, with a slight grin. I think he knows something, I can see it in his eyes. So I make a mental note to ask him about it later.

“Are you going to go?” I ask.

“I don't know!” Pansy snaps, looking pretty flustered. A feeling I know all too well. “Stop asking me so many questions. I don't even know who this weirdo is. Should I go?”

I pull Pansy into my arms in hopes of calming her down. She does it when I'm like this, so how can I not do the same? “I think you should go.” I answer, still hugging her. “This person obviously really wants to go to Hogs-Prom with you. They sneaked into Slytherin for goodness sake. I think you should give them a chance.”

She pulls out of the hug and smiles at me weakly. “I... but... what...” Pansy stutters. Only a few time have I seen Pansy this vulnerable. However she is my best friend and I know exactly what she is thinking.

I stare into her dark eyes. “You are my beautiful best friend. You are incredibly strong, even if you were willing to hand Harry over to Voldemort after five minutes.” Her smiles fades at that.

“I'm sorry-” I put my finger to her lips to stop her apologizing.

I continue, “You don't need to be sorry. You did because you thought you were protecting everyone, just like I thought I was protecting my parents. Pansy you were there for me when no one else was. You are more than good enough and you **do** deserve good things. This is a good thing, go for it.”

Her smile returns, but this time it's a happier smile. “Thanks Dray. You always know what to say.”

“Right if you too are done...” Blaise interrupts. “Let's all go to Hogmeade and get ourselves some butter beers.”

“I never thought I'd say this, but I'm with Zabini.” Weasley agrees, leading the way out. Hermione follows rolling her eyes at Ron.

“Wait up you guys!” Pansy yells, seeming much more like herself.

“Yes, mother.” Ron and Blaise reply, sarcastically.

“Don't make me hurt you, Blaise.” Pansy threatens.

Harry and I just laugh also making our way out of Slytherin. “Hey, wait up Draco.” Harry says, taking my hand in his.

“What's up?” I ask, smiling at his emerald eyes.

“All that stuff you said to Pansy.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“You're right you know. She does deserve good things.” I nod and turn to catch up to the rest of them, but Harry tightens his grip on my hand.

“Is there something else, Harry?”

He takes my other hand. “You deserve good things too.”

I sigh. “I want to believe you Harry. I really do, but I can't. I'm part of my father and you've seen him. How can there possibly be any good in me?”

“In the war when I died. I didn't actually die. When Voldemort _killed_ me, I saw Dumbledor and he sort sent me back, I don't know. But I was breathing. Voldemort told your mother to check if I was dead. She told him I was dead, but she knew I was alive.”

“What's your point?” I ask, not quite following.

“Draco, your mother saved my life. So you may be apart of Lucius, but you are apart of your mother too. There is plenty of good in you. And if I have to I spend as long as it takes to make you see that.”

I feel my smile growing. “Thanks.” I say, biting my lower lip.

“Don't do that.” The Gryffindor begs.

I scratch the the back of my head, feeling confused. “Don't do what?”

“Bite your lower lip.”

“Why not?”

Harry pull me close, our lips are centimetres apart. “Because I can't resist you when you do.”

My smile turns into a sly grin upon realising the power I have over him. “Resist this.” I say, biting my lower lip just to tempt him. Before I know it our lips meet.

“Would you too hurry up!” Blaise interrupts. We instantly pull apart. “Oh sorry to interrupt, but we're all waiting for you too.”

I let out a disappointed sigh. “Fine. We're coming now.” Harry and I then follow hand in hand, with our fingers entwined.

We reach the group. “It's about time Drarry showed up.” Pansy moans.

“Drarry?” I say, raising an eyebrow.

“You're couple name.” Hermione adds.

“We have a couple name?” Harry interjects.

“Of course!” Pansy and Granger respond in unison.

 

**Pansy POV**

 

So here I am making my way to the Black Lake. I took everything Draco said earlier into consideration and decided he was right. This is something good and I should give it a chance. Draco really is the best, I couldn't ask for a better friend. I am really proud at how far he's come. He is a lot better and happier being with Potter. And Lucius hasn't bothered any of us in almost two weeks. Things are going really well... a little too well. It's kind of scary, but I don't want to ruin Draco's progress with my pessimism.

The sun has already set so it's dark and the stars are out. The thing I love about Hogwarts is it is so far from the city you can actually see the stars at night. And not the ones in the Great Hall... the real stars.

It doesn't take long for me to notice the golden light by the lake. Well whoever this secret admirer is, they are true to their word. As soon as I am at the lake, I can see that the lights is at least a hundred fireflies forming the shape of a heart. Cute. Cheesy, but cute.

I don't know what this person sees in me to go to all this trouble. Although I don't let on, Draco seems to know I don't always think the best of myself. So before I let my mind completely tear me down, I try to remember the things Draco said to me earlier about being good enough.

A familiar voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “They are pretty, but I know your thinking they shouldn't be here. As fireflies typically live in warmer climates, and Britain is hardly warm. However most people don't know that fireflies are romantic creatures. So when I told them about tonight, they were happy to help.”

“Actually, I was think why someone would go to all this trouble for me. Especially after trying to hand Potter over to Voldemort.” I admit.

“You thought you were protecting your friends, particularly Draco. It's easy to see how much you love him and want what's best for him.”

“Of course I love him. He's my best friend.”

“Evil people don't know what it is to love. There is more good in you than you know Pansy Parkinson.”

 


	23. Someone For Everyone

**Harry POV**

 

“You know something, don't you?” Draco pesters me, as we walk through the Slytherin common room to his dorm.

“I don't know anything.” I lie, knowing my grin is giving me away.

“Yeah, I can see that by your face. Now who is it?”

“I'm not telling and you can't make me.” I say, plopping myself on Draco's bed and closing my eyes.

I can feel someone climb on top of me, arms either side of me. I open my eyes, and just as I thought Draco is staring at me with those beautiful moon like eyes of his. “I can and will make you tell me.” The blonde states.

“Try it.” I challenge. Draco then leans in and I think he is going to kiss me, but he stops. His lips centimetres from mine. And then he does the unthinkable. He begins biting his lower lip. “You are such a Slytherin, torturing me like this.”

“And you are such a Gryffindor, so just give in already.” Draco responds.

I raise my eyebrow at his obvious insult. “I think you've mistaken my for a Hufflepuff. Gryffindors don't cave so easily.”

“Hufflepuff.” He retorts, taking off his shirt to try and tease me more.

Instead I frown at his arms. “You're still cutting.” I sigh.

“Oh shit.” Draco cusses, climbing off me. He obviously didn't realise.

“Draco.” I whisper.

“I know what you're gonna say Harry. Like I told you before it's not that easy. I'm sorry.”

“Draco, I'm not upset that you are still cutting.” I say, placing a comforting hand on his back.

“You're not?” The blonde asks, furrowing his brows.

“No. I'm upset that you didn't come to me, and that you're still hiding it from me. The whole point of me being here for you is that you come to me whether you just feel like cutting, or if you actually have cut. I don't want a repeat of a few weeks ago, because next time I might not get to you in time. I don't want to lose you, Draco.”

“I know.” He frowns. “It's just hard, I'm sorry.” His voice sounds so defeated. I know he probably feels shit enough about it with out me piling on the guilt, but I can't help it. I'm terrified that one of these days I'm going to lose him. I don't think I could bare that. If Draco goes, I'm going after him.

I stare into those silver eyes of his and I just melt. I allow my stern expression to soften. “Come'ere you.” I say, pulling my Slytherin into a cuddle. “I just love you.” I place a kiss on the back of his blonde head.

“I know. I love you too.” Draco falls silent for a few minutes before speaking again. “So who is it?”

“Who's, who?” I ask dumbly.

“Asking Pansy to Hogs-Prom?”

“Ohhh... I'm not telling.”

“Fine.” Draco huffs.

“Don't huff at me.” I tell him. “I promised I wouldn't say anything. And Gryffindors keep their promises.”

Draco moans at me in response. “Harry... Can't you be just a little bit Slytherin. Just this once.” He begs. He bats his beautiful eyes at me. “For me.”

“How can I resist that face?” I tease.

“You can't?” He asks, sounding hopeful.

I hate to pierce that hope, but a promise is a promise. “Sorry. No can do.”

“Fine.” He wines, finally giving up.

 

 

 

**Pansy POV**

 

“You're not who I was expecting.” I admit.

“Who were you expecting, Pansy?”

“I don't know, Luna.”

“A boy perhaps?” Luna suggests.

“I don't know... I guess.”

“Are you disappointed? It's okay if you are, I am no stranger to disappointment.”

“I'm not disappointed, just surprised is all. I didn't know you were in to girls. And I mean that in the best possible way.”

“Nor did I, yet here we are. And don't worry about offending me, Pansy. Most don't care what words they throw in my direction. However I have great friends, so I can take it.” Lovegood smiles. I'd love to put Draco in a room with her. He could learn a thing or two from her. I'm not saying Draco is weak, definitely not. He just sometimes needs reminded how strong he really is. “I want you to know,” Luna continues. “You don't have to say yes, and if you do we can go as friends. I really don't mind.”

I don't stop to think about my answer. “Yes.” I blurt out. “I'll go with you to Hogs-Prom... as a date.”

“Okay.” The Ravenclaw smiles. She then crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “I didn't know you were into girls?”

Ha! Throwing my own line back at me. I think I could really like her. “Nor did I, yet here we are.” I shrug. “Hey, there's a first time for everything.”

“Right you are, Pansy. Right you are.”

“By the way... the fireflies were a nice touch. Very original. And props for sneaking into Slytherin house. Are you sure you're not one of us?” I ask. I didn't know this girl had a bad side. She always seemed so innocent.

“I promise I'm not.” She giggles. “And thanks, but Harry helped. He let me borrow his invisibility cloak to sneak in.”

“I knew Potter knew something. It was written all over his face.” I tell, thinking back to earlier.

“Harry, isn't very subtle.”

“It's a good job he is a bloody good wizard, because he would have no hope as an actor.” I laugh. “Anyway thank you so much for this. I've got to go and talk to Draco, but I'll see you later, Luna.” I give her a hug and a peck on the cheek as I leave heading back towards the school.

As I enter the Slytherin common room, Draco is coming down the stairs from his room. Talk about perfect timing. With out giving him a chance to get a word in, I link my arm with his and drag him back up the stair he just came down. The second I close the door, he jumps straight on my case. “So who the fuck is asking you to Hogs-Prom? I want all the details!” My best friend demands.

“Luna Lovegood.”

“What-” Draco chokes, and on air apparently. _There's a first._ I think sarcastically. “Looney Lovegood asked you out.”

“It's Luna!” I snap, glaring at him. “And what's wrong with that?”

The blonde hold up his hands in defence. “Nothing. There is nothing _wrong_ with it. I just didn't realise you were a lesbian.”

“I'm not!” I retort. “I don't know... what she did was really sweet. I know she's weird, but it's cute. Also she's got a little bit of a bad side that I kind of like.”

“Awww... Pansy's got a girlfriend.” Draco teases. I roll my eyes at him, before pouncing on him.

“You have a boyfriend.” I throw back, as measly attempt to get him back.

Unfortunately it fails. “I know I have a boyfriend. I'm gay.” He grins.

Defeated, I sit up on the floor with my arms around my legs. “I don't know what I am.” I sigh.

After studying my face for a few seconds, Draco's grin turns in to a friendly frown. “Hey. It's okay you know – to not know what you are. It's normal.”

“Really?” I ask, hopefully.

“Yeah. I went back and forth A LOT with my sexuality. I had a ton of mixed feelings about it too. I was terrified of my father finding out. I was angry at myself because I thought there was something wrong with me. I was anxious that the entire school would find out before I was ready. I was afraid of losing everything and I hated myself for it all. But there isn't anything wrong with me. I'm exactly who I'm meant to be.” Draco confesses.

I can see a confidence in his eyes. A confidence I haven't seen in him for years. It makes me feel bold enough to ask what I'm thinking. “How do you know that?”

He places a his hand on my back and rubs it, making me feel a little better. “Because of you you were 100% there for me. You always counteracted the shit I got from people about me being gay. It made me see that  _I_ wasn't the problem. It was other people that were the problem.”

“I think I like Luna. I do... But I like guys too. That's not gonna change.”

My best friend's smile returns to his face, but this time it's not to tease me. “Pansy? Did you ever think maybe you're bisexual or even bi-curious just?”

It's the label that is getting me down. As a Slytherin, we get enough labels as it is. “Do I have to be anything?”

Draco's face lights up. “I know. Why don't you just be Pansy?” He suggests.

And I think we have a winner. “Perfect!” I exclaim. “Just Pansy.”

“And I'm just Draco.” The blonde interjects.

 

**Draco POV**

 

Poor Pansy. I didn't realise her thoughts went quite as deep as mine. I suppose given the right kind of pressure, one can dig themselves a hole so deep they aren't ever getting out. It's not easy coming to terms with who you are, especially with my father. However I survived – So far. In order to get rid of my father we have to figure out what his unfinished business is. I know it has something to do with me, that much is clear. I only wish I knew what that something is.

I know we will figure it out eventually. But... it's all overwhelming sometimes. Not to mention my drastic mood changes. Yes, I have noticed them. What the fuck is up with that? It all just makes me want to reach for my blade again, however I promised I would _try_ and stop. It was the only way to get him off my back.

I just feel so crazy sometimes. Like I feel so completely numb, that cutting is the only way to feel  _something_ . Even if it is pain. Other times I hurt so bad inside, that it seems to be the only distraction from my inner turmoil.

Then there's the nightmares and my father threatening Harry's life. I refuse to be the cause of his death. I love him. Lucius is a dick! I don't know how I ever looked up to him in first year.

Haha! Yeah. In first year I wanted nothing more than to be my father. That was until I meet his fist for the first time in second year. When I got knocked off my broom in the Quidditch game against Gryffindor. My father was so angry that Slytherin lost because I got knocked off my broom. Although come to think of it, I shouldn't have been all that surprised. He wasn't the slightest bit worried that I fell off my broom. I could have died at 12 years old, and he probably wouldn't have given a fuck.

“Do you have your suit for Hogs-Prom?” Pansy asks, pulling me from my mind.

Thankful to be temporarily freed from it, I respond, “Yeah. Snape took me into town the other day to get it.” I smile, thinking back to it. It's the first real time I've spent with my Godfather since all this shit.

“Oh... how'd that go?” She asks, sounding concerned.

“It was great. He was completely himself, and we really bonded.”

Pansy smiles back at me. “That's great, Draco!” I know she is happy for me. I can see the hope in her eyes. It's the same hope in Harry's eyes. I am getting better. It's slow, but it's happening. I think Hogs-Prom is just the boost I need. I'm excited. “Can I see it?” She asks.

“See what?” I answer, confused.

“The suit. I want to see what Potter is in for.” She chuckles.

“You'll just have to wait until Hogs-Prom, Pansy.”

“Awe, come on. I want to see it now.”

“Nope. Now can we please go to dinner. I'm starving.” I moan, knowing she'll just be happy I'm volunteer eating.

“Okay, Dray. Let's go get you fattened up a bit.” She says, patting my stomach.

I immediately put my arms over my tummy. “Don't make me feel self-conscious. It's hard enough.”

“Sorry, Dray. But you really are a girl sometimes.”

“Whatever.” I groan, rolling my eyes at her.

 


	24. A Hogs-Prom To Remember

**Harry POV**

 

It's finally here. Hogs-Prom. This will be a night to remember, I know it will.

“Harry, are you nearly ready yet? I swear you take longer than Hermione to get ready.” Ron wines.

“Ron!” I scold.

“What?” He responds shrugging his shoulders. “I didn't call you a girl this time.”

“No, but you implied it.”

“Okay, sorry. Now would you get a move on everyone will be waiting.” Ron urges, shoving me out the door.

We reach the common room and there is Hermione and Ginny looking absolutely beautiful. “You two look incredible.” I compliment them.

“We know.” Ginny arrogantly responds, making her sound a little too Slytherin. Neville takes Ginny's hand, and Ron takes Hermione's. I plan to take Draco's when we meet him on the other side of the Gryffindor portrait door.

But before we even reach the door, I feel my legs go out from under me and everything goes black.

 

_I must say Draco looks so sexy in his tux. “You look so handsome in that tux. It really bring out those beautiful eyes of yours.” I tell him, choosing my words carefully. The last thing I want to do is make him uncomfortable, which I know anything to with sex will. I really hope he doesn't think I expect it from him tonight._

_He blushes. “Thanks.” He answers, looking down at his feet. “You look incredible too.” The blonde compliments back. He stares into my eyes and begins biting his lower lip. Damn! I wonder if he does that just to tease me? Probably, he is a Slytherin after all._

_A slow song begins to play. I recognise it to be 'All My Heart' by Sleeping With Sirens. It's such a pretty song. “I love this song.” Draco says, wrapping his arms around my neck. Smile at his as he begins singing along to the words. “You still have all of my heart.” He sings. I stare at his lit up face in awe. “What?” The blonde asks, nervously._

“ _You're beautiful.” I reply. He bites his lip again, so I can't take it any more. I place my lips on his, not caring who sees._

“ _Eww faggots.” I hear Crabbe and Goyle sneer. I roll my eyes and go to pull away, but Draco just leans more into the kiss._

_Suddenly Draco disappears from my arms and Pansy comes running up to me in her long, emerald dress, looking very worried. “Where's Draco?” She asks, with clear urgency in her voice._

“ _I don't know, he was here just a second ago. Pansy, what's wrong?” I respond, with a terrible feeling in my gut._

“ _Something is very wrong, Harry.” Pansy tells._

_Shit! Pansy never uses my first name. That can only mean that Draco is in danger. I look around the room and my fears are confirmed. “Snape isn't here.” I state, feeling very scared for my boyfriend right now. “Find out where they are on the Marauder's Map!” The Slytherin girl orders._

_Without hesitation I pull out the map and solemnly swear that I am up to no good. As soon as I find them my eyes noticeably widen. “Well? Where are they?” She demands to know._

“ _Snape is in his office...” I begin. Pansy lets out a sigh of relief. “With Draco!” I finish. The second I do Pansy grabs my arm and drags me out of the Great Hall towards the dungeons. I follow with as much speed as she, feeling just as worried as she probably is._

_We reach Snape's office door and go to open it, but it's locked! Suddenly I here Draco crying and screaming. “Stop it! Please get off me!” He cries. The sound is ripping my heart to pieces.I begin trying to kick down the door, Pansy helping me. But it's no use. The door won't budge._

“ _We're coming Draco!” We both shout through the door._

_We hear a crash and Draco's screams suddenly stop. I fear Snape has killed him. When the door abruptly flies open, and Draco runs out. All he has on is his suit shirt, but it's been torn. Pansy and I try to stop him, but he just runs right past us. Pansy shoots me a terrified look and I pull out the map again._

_I start running following Draco's dot on the map. “Potter, where is he going?” Pansy asks, running behind me._

“ _The Astronomy Tower. I think he is going to jump” I reply, my voice shaking._

_We get to the Astronomy Tower and sure enough Draco is on the ledge. My heart bleeds when I see him jump. “Draco! No!” I try to grab him, but I'm too late._

 

My eyes open and standing over me is Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville. I soon realise where I am and I shoot up. “Where's Draco?” I ask, feeling very flustered.

“Harry, calm down. Draco is just outside.” Hermione answers, trying her best to calm me down.

“Alone!” I scold. “Snape or his father will get to him, and he is gonna fucking kill himself” I yell, tears pouring down my face.

“Harry!” Ron screams back, causing me to freeze. “What the bloody hell are you mumbling about. Malfoy is right outside. He's fine.”

I take a calming breath and step outside. He's not here. “Yeah, Ron. Right outside.” I spit. He says something, but I don't hear it. I run as fast as I can to the Great Hall, hoping that he is in there. I reach the hall and I search the crowd of students for his blonde head. I don't see it. I walk along the side of the hall and finally spot him by the punch bowl.

Without giving it a second thought I run over to him and throw my arms around him. I hug so tight as though this will be the last time. And I can't stop the tears from falling down my face. I was so sure I'd lost him forever. “Don't ever leave my sight again, Draco.” I order, although it comes out as more of a mumble.

“Harry, are you crying?” The blonde asks, pulling out of the hug.

“No.” I lie, knowing that my tear filled eyes and snuffly nose give me away.

“Why are you crying?” He asks, his voice full of concern.

“You were supposed to wait outside the the Gryffindor portrait door.” I tell him off.

“I got bored. You were taking all day so I just came on down. It's not like I was leaving Hogwarts.”

I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and take a few steadying breaths.

 

**Draco POV**

 

“There. Feel better?” I ask, Harry. He nods. I am really confused. Harry, came down to the Great Hall in complete hysterics. I wonder what has him so worked up. I really hope that Lucius hasn't gotten to him. I still haven't forgotten his threat.

“What gives Harry?” Ron asks, sounding annoyed.

“Sorry Ron. I just wanted to see Draco was okay, that's all.”

“He's fine just like I told you. You didn't have to go off on one mate.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

The rest of the gang finally join us. “What the hell happened back there?” Hermione asks Harry.

“What happened, where?” I ask, knowing I've missed something.

“He passed out.” Hermione answers.

“No I didn't.” Harry protests.

“Eh... yeah you did mate.” Ron interjects.

I turn to Harry with a worried expression painted on my face. “Fine, I passed out. Before you ask, I don't know why.” He admits.

“What was going on in your head?” I ask, knowing it can't have been good.

“Nothing. I just dreamt about when Voldemort killed me in the war.” He snaps.

I instantly flinch at the mention of the war. “Sorry, Draco.” Harry apologizes, seeing it.

I know he is lying. I can see it in his eyes. It had something to do with me. That would explain why he came down in the way that he did. However I am not going to push it, because I did the same thing the other week.

I hear 'Circles' by Pierce The Veil come on. “Let's dance!” I demand, taking Harry by the hand and dragging him onto the dance floor. Granger, Weasley and Blaise join us on. After a few minutes I spot Pansy and Luna making their way over. “Look who finally decided to grace us with their presence.” I tease.

“You know I wouldn't miss this... Drakey-Poo.” Pansy teases right back. She knows I hate that.

“So are you two going out now, or what's going on there?” I ask, purposely putting her on the spot.

She glares at me. “As a matter of fact we are, so keep your fucking comments and jokes to yourself.”

“Chill out, Pans.” I say, holding my hands up in defence. “I was only asking.”

“I love this song.” Harry interrupts. As he pulls me into his arms to dance, I listen intently to the music to try and figure out what song it is. Turns out it is 'Iris' by The GooGoo Dolls. “This is our song.” The Gryffindor states.

I can't help but feel that this is all too familiar. “I didn't know we had a song?” I reply, smiling weakly.

“Well we do now.” Harry smiles, leaning in to kiss me. Our lips meet and the bliss brings relief to my scared heart. In my dream our lips didn't meet, so the fact that they did makes me believe that it was _just a dream_. Thank fuck for that.

The song ends, but we keep dancing. A few more songs play and we all dance and mess about a bit. I kind of feel sorry for Blaise as he couldn't get a date, but he doesn't seem phased so I guess it's fine.

Tonight is perfect. I honestly think that this is the best night of my life. And to make things better one of my favourite songs comes on.

 

**Harry POV**

 

“I love this song.” Draco says, wrapping his arms around my neck. The song is 'All My Heart' by Sleeping With Sirens. I don't know if I like this, however I can't keep back the smile on my face as Draco sings along to the lyrics. “You still have all of my heart.” I sing along with him. I stare at him in awe.

“What?” The Slytherin asks, trying to hide his reddening cheeks.

“You are beautiful.” I confess, and the blonde bites his lower lip. Without hesitation I place my lips on his. I don't care who see, because well... I'm in love with him.

“Eww faggots.” Crabbe and Goyle sneer. I roll my eyes, and just like last time Draco leans into the kiss even more. I find myself waiting for him to disappear right in front of me, but it doesn't happen. Perhaps I had nothing to worry about.

We break apart from the kiss, and I hug him tight for fear that I will lose him.

“What's this for?” The blonde asks.

“I love you, Draco.”

“I love you too, Harry. But what's wrong? Please tell me.” He begs.

“Just promise me something.”

“What?”

“Promise you won't ever leave me.”

Draco shakes his head. “Nope. I can't promise that.”

“Why not?” I ask, feeling a little irritated.

“Because I need to piss.” He laughs.

“Oh.” I say, relieved. “Well, let me come with you.”  
“No Harry. I can piss by myself.”

“Fine.” I sigh, hesitantly. “Just don't be too long, okay.”

“Okay.” Draco pecks me on the lips, and then leaves the hall.

“Where's Draco going?” Pansy asks.

“To the bathroom, he needs to piss.” I answer.

“Too much information, Potter.” She laughs.

“Sorry.”

“Do you want to dance with Luna and I?” The Slytherin girl asks.

“No thanks. I'm going to get some punch.” She nods, and I walk over to the drinks table.

I pour myself a cup and wait for Draco to return.

Ten minutes pass and I finally finish my cup, but Draco still isn't back. I begin feeling a little worried, however I just shrug it off. Maybe he is just fixing his hair or something.

Another ten minutes pass and still no Draco. I go to leave the hall in search of him, when Pansy comes running up to me.

“Where's Draco?” She asks, with clear urgency in her voice.

“He left to go to the bathroom, but that was twenty minutes ago.” I reply, not liking where this is going.

“Something is very wrong, Harry.” She tells.

Shit! No! Please no! This can't be happening. Where is Draco?

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Draco POV**

 

Thank Merlin! I made it to the bathroom just in time. I swear I thought I was going to burst. But I thought if I left, even if it was only to pee, it might ruin things somehow. I know, stupid. Right? Tonight has been so perfect, I know it is way more than I deserve. Which is why I am all the more thankful for it.

After relieving myself I walk up to the sink and wash my hands. As I do I stare at myself in the mirror. I must say, I do look rather handsome in my tux. Although Harry looks way more handsome than I ever will. He always was more masculine than me. Even in first year when he was so small and scrawny from lack of nutrients, he was still more of a man than me. Maybe his courage is what does it for him. It must be, as I am such a coward and I look rather feminine. I think so anyway. Oh but I do love that dopey, awkward smile of my Gryffindor's. That thought makes me smile.

I study my smile in the mirror. It looks real. However despite my happiness, there is this nagging voice, almost, in the back of my head urging me to cut. As much as I want to comply... I don't want to. I roll up my sleeves and stare at my arms in the reflection. The sight alone urges me further to give in, but I won't. So before I can give it another thought, I pull down my sleeves and run out of the bathroom.

I know I am not paying attention, because run hard into Professor Severus Snape. “I am so sorry, Snape I didn't mean to run into you like that.” I apologize.

The dark man raises an eyebrow, fixing his eyes on mine. “Quite.” He begins. “And what gives you the right to address me so informally, Mr Draco Malfoy.” He spits.

“I... I'm terribly sorry Professor.” I answer, my voice evidently shaking.

“Indeed. Now follow me to my office. We need to have a little chat.” I reluctantly obey.

We both sit down with only my Godfather's desk creating some distance. “What did you want to talk about, Sir?” I ask, my voice still shaken.

Snape sighs before responding. “Draco, I am very disappointed in you.” Somehow I don't think that it is my Godfather speaking to me right now. “I thought, I told you to end things with Harry Potter. I warned you, that you would have to pay with _his_ life.”

Yep. It's definitely Lucius. And just as I feared that dream in the hospital wing, was more than just a dream. “But Father, please!” I beg. “Please don't hurt him... I love him.” My eyes are burning with hot tears.

“You have one more chance, Draco.” My father warns, as I breath a sigh of relief. “I won't hurt Potter, this time. However you my dear boy must be taught a lesson.”

“As long as it doesn't hurt Harry, I don't care what happens to me. You can beat me all you wish.” I state in a defeated tone.

“Oh Draco.” The man sniggers. “Don't be so assuming.”

I have a really bad feeling about this.

 

**Harry POV**

 

Shit! No! Please no! This can't be happening. Where is Draco?

“Harry, what's wrong?” Hermione asks, approaching me with Ron.

“Yeah, mate. Where's Malfoy at?”

I am so overcome with fear that I only manage to mumble, “I... I... He...”

“Well... Spit it out, Potter!” Pansy snaps. “Why would Draco spend so long in the bathroom?”

“You don't think he'd try to do himself in again do you?” Ron asks, consequently putting another bad thought in all our minds.

“I think Lucius got to him.” I finally vomit out, feeling like I could actually vomit.

Pansy narrows her eyes at me. “How do you know?”

“Because I've seen this before.”

“What do you mean?” Mione probes.

I shake my head frantically. “There's not time to explain. We need to hurry before it's too late.” I lead the way running out of the hall as fast as my feet will let me.

“Potter! Wait!” Pansy screams. “Where is Draco? What's going on?” I ignore her questions and I keep running. Pansy, Hermione and Ron are all right on my tail. I'm glad they are all with me, it's slight difference to the dream. I only hope it's enough to stop the entirety of it from coming true.

As we draw closer to Professor Snape's office, I begin to hear what is happening. “ _Crucio!_ ” I hear Snape cast. Followed by painful cries and screams coming from Draco. I wish we had went looking for him sooner. We reach the office door and I stop, frozen with the fear that I already know it's locked.

“What are you waiting for, Harry?” Ron says. “Open it mate.”

“I can't. It's locked.”

“How do you know?” Pansy demands.

Before I can reply Hermione points her wand at the lock on the door. _“Alohomora._ ” The door doesn't open, like I already knew it wouldn't. Hermione gives me a worried look. “What do we do now?” She asks.

I just shake my head and try to fight back the tears threatening to fall. I feel so helpless.

Suddenly I thud and Draco screams again. “Please no! Please!” I hear him cry.

I fear something terrible is about to happen and the sound of his agonizing cries causes something inside of me to snap.

I begin kick the door as hard as I can. If magic won't open it, then perhaps kicking down will. “What the bloody hell are you doing, Harry? You're gonna break the door.” Ron says.

“Exactly. We need to break it down. Unless you know another way to get it open, Ron.” Ron responds by kicking the door as well to speed up the process. “Hermione, do you remember that spell to get rid of Lucius temporarily?”

She nods and raises her wand ready to cast the spell. Pansy joins in with kicking the door down. “One more kick. All together.” The Slytherin girl orders. “One... two... three!” We kick the door hard and it flies open. There on the other side is Draco on the floor with Snape trying to climb on top of him. As soon as he sees his he stands and aims his wand at us. However I am faster.

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” I yell, disarming him.

Then Hermione jumps in. “ _Enora!_ ” The moment the spell hits Snape, a red smoke leaves his chest and exits through the stone floor. Probably Lucius going back to hell where he belongs.

“What in Merlin's name is going on?” Snape demands to know. Obviously just having snapped back to his old self. My gaze shifts to Draco who is still lying on the floor, trembling and crying. His trousers are torn beside him, leaving him in only his boxers and a ripped shirt.

Snape follows my gaze to the shaking blonde. “Draco!” He gasps, rushing to comfort the boy. He kneels beside him and tries to place a hand on his shoulder. Draco flinches at his touch and without caring about the state he is in, runs out the door. His painful sobs echoing as he does.

Without giving it a second thought I run after him. I'm terrified I know where he is going, and hoping I can make it before I'm too late this time.

 

**Snape POV**

 

What in Merlin's name just happened!

I blacked out again, but it can't have been for that long. All I know it something bastardly evil left me, and then I snapped back to reality. When I did Potter, Granger, Weasley and Parkinson are in my office, and Draco is in a state on the floor. I try to comfort the boy, but he flinches and runs out of the room, Potter right behind him.

“I want to know what is going on now!” I order. “And please don't leave anything out.”

Miss Granger approaches me. “You may want to sit down for this, Sir.” She answers, her voice full of sympathy. I do as the Gryffindor girl asks. And she continues. “Professor... are you aware of having any... blackouts?”

I nod. “I have. What do you know of them?” I ask, trying to not let my concern show.

Miss Granger looks between Miss Parkinson and Mr Weasley, the sympathetic expression not leaving her face for a second.

Granger sends the pair a nod, and Pansy steps forward, clearing her throat. “Professor Snape, Sir... we have reason to believe that you are being possessed by a very dark and evil spirit.”

The moment the sentence leaves her lips I find myself holding my breath for fear that I somehow might lose it. The wheels in my head are turning and the fog of the night I was destined for death is slowly beginning to clear. However I am not sure how ready I am to learn the entire truth of that night.

“Who is the soul you believe to be taking over my physical being?” I bravely ask. I say bravely, because I know I am not going to like the answer. But I need to know... I need the closure.

“Lucius Malfoy, Sir.” Ronald blurts out.

I hold my head in my hands, and I begin rubbing my temples. The ache in my head is starting to come back as my memory clears completely. It all makes sense now. That's why Draco's boggart changed into me, his father's cruelty is now in the form of myself. That is why he is so afraid of me and that is why he has been distant. “How long have you all known about this?”

“Since Draco's suicide attempt.” Granger answers.

“That long! Why have none of you told me sooner?” I demand to know.

“We didn't want to upset you, Professor. Sorry.” Granger apologizes.

“Does Draco know?” I ask them. The all nod. That day in my office when I asked him about his boggart, he knew. He didn't say. The only reason I can think of was that he was protecting _me_. Draco always underestimates how strong he is. “ _Draco!_ ” I gasp, realising the state the boy had been in before he ran off.

“What... what did I do to Draco? Just now?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“Nothing... however if we didn't come when we did...” Pansy replies, refusing to finish that sentence. She doesn't need to. I can figure out what would have happened... what Lucius would have had me do. That would also mean that _my_ hands have hurt Draco so much these past months. How could I have let Lucius in? How could I have been so weak? Poor Draco.

“Where is Draco now?” I am terrified of what Draco might do.

“He's fine.. well as fine as he can be...” Miss Parkinson responds. “Harry Potter is with him. He will make sure Draco is safe.”

The thought of Draco hurting himself again, cause the damn inside me to break. I crumble of my chair onto the floor, my head in my hands and tears pouring down my face. I would have collected my tears, but this is a night I would rather forget. “I am so, so sorry.” I blubber. If it wasn't for the turmoil inside me I would be mortified to be crying in front of my students. However they have taken care of my Godson when I couldn't, so I hold a strong trust and respect towards them.

Pansy kneels down beside me, placing a hand on my back. Granger then kneels beside her and sends me a sympathetic smile. I don't think Weasley knows what to do let alone what to make of what is happening. “It's okay, Sir.” Miss Parkinson tries to reassure me.

“It's not. Not even a little bit. What I've done to Draco... and Merlin knows what I have or will do to you lot.”

“Professor, none of this is your fault.” Granger replies.

“Yeah... it's that bastard Lucius that's done all this. You had no say in any of it, Snape.” The redhead retorts.

“Regardless... I know now, and it ends here.” I take a few deep, steadying breaths and stand to my feet.

“Sir?” Granger asks. “Do you know what Lucius' unfinished business is?”

I nod. “Lucius Malfoy plans on becoming the next dark lord.”

“We were afraid of that.” Pansy interjects. “But what does Draco have to do with that?”

I sigh, painfully. Knowledge can be both a blessing and a curse. I hate knowing what the bastard plans to do to the boy, however I am glad because I know what to look out for. “In order for Lucius to resurrect himself to become the next dark lord, he needs a willing sacrifice.”

“But Draco would never do that... would he?” The Slytherin girl asks.

“No, he wouldn't.” I answer, shaking my head. “Which is why I think Lucius plans to make Draco take his own life.”

“Bloody hell!” Weasley gasps. “So a few weeks ago that was-”

“Yes. Lucius got to him.” I interrupt. “Which is why we CANNOT leave him alone. Not for a second. And we need to dispose of Lucius once and for all. Otherwise we are all doomed.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry for the wait. I am visiting the U.S. of A. at the moment and the friend I am staying with has had issues with her internet. But it's here now. Better Later than never.  
> I am hoping to not have as many issues uploading the next chapter and thank you so much for sticking with it. Also thanks for the kudos and comments, keep'em coming. I love hearing what you guys think.
> 
> Until the next chapter ;)


	26. Choosing To Live

**Draco POV**

 

I couldn't give a shit about how I look right now. I can't believe what just happened... what almost happened. I know Severus had nothing to do with it, but it was still his physical being that it was happening through. My father was right though. I should not have been so assuming that he had wished to beat me. Instead he held me under the cruciartus curse so that I would be to weak to fight back as he raped me. If Harry and the rest of them had not come when they did... that is exactly what would have happened. I hate that fucking bastard I call my father. However I hate myself more, because clearly he only wants me. I am putting Harry, Pansy and Severus in danger.

Tears continue to pour down my face as I run through Hogwarts. I know where I am going, I have to get to the Astronomy Tower. I don't think I can do this any more.

On my way I run into Professor Lupin. He tries to stop me, but I am quicker and I continue running. However I hear him scold the laughing students for mocking me and shouting abusive words at me. Which if I wasn't already in so much emotional pain, it would have probably hurt a great deal. I make a mental note to thank the werewolf if I survive this.

I finally make it to the Astronomy Tower, catching a few more sniggers and nasty comments on my travels.

I walk to the edge of the tower and look down. One step is all it would take. One step and all this shit would be behind me. One step and I wouldn't feel any more pain. I wonder if heaven would take me. I may not be entirely good, but I do believe in God. That's the only conclusion I have to explain why Harry Potter would want someone as messed up and broken as me.

I want to jump more than anything, however there is a whisper in my heart begging me to hold on. I want to end my pain, but I am curious as to what is around the corner. I decide to listen to the whisper and instead of stepping of the edge, I sit down and stare at the stars in the sky.

“Draco! Don't jump!” A voice screams from behind me. I turn to the source and standing at the top of the stairs is Harry. He must have followed me here... typical.

“Do I look like I'm jumping!” I snap. He doesn't respond, instead he makes his way over and sits next to me.

“Are... are you okay?” He chokes.

“I'm just wonderful, Harry.” I mumble sarcastically.

“You don't have to be like that, you know. I was only worried about you.” The Gryffindor retorts.

“I know... I'm sorry.” I sigh. The cold air makes me shiver and I suddenly remember that I am half naked. Harry notices, takes of his jacket and puts it around me. “You don't have to.” I say, pulling it tighter around me and breathing in his scent.

“Draco, you are practically naked and shivering. I'm not going to let you get pneumonia.”

“Thanks.” We sit for about ten minutes in complete silence. I just stare back at the stars and try to keep my mind from running wild.

“I really enjoyed tonight.” Harry states, breaking my concentration and confusing the hell out of me.

“How the fuck did you enjoy tonight? In case it slipped your mind, I was almost bloody raped tonight!” I yell.

“I meant before all that. Dancing with you and having a good time with our friends. It was exactly what I wanted tonight to be.”

I instantly calm. “I'm sorry for snapping. I really enjoyed tonight to up until... you know.” The Gryffindor must sense the tears building up in my eyes, because he puts his arms around and pulls me close. He places a kiss on my head before resting his chin on it. This action alone causes the flood gates inside me to burst open. “Tonight was _so_... so perfect.” I cry. “Why did _he_ have to ruin it? Why couldn't he let me have one good memory?”

“I don't know.” My red lion sighs. “But if he wasn't already dead, I would kill him for all he has done to you.”

“Sometimes I just want to kill myself.” I confess.

“I know...” Harry answers, holding me tighter. “But please don't. I don't want to lose you... I love you.”

I begin sobbing harder now. “I love you too, Harry. That's why I can't do it.”

“Can't do what?”

“I can't watch Lucius kill you, I can't let you die because of me.”

“He won't, Draco and he won't kill you either.”

“I wish he would.”

“Don't say that!” Harry scolds. His voice softens again. “Don't ever say that again, please.”

I sit up and stare into his emerald eyes. His eyes are so filled with pain and fear. I can't bare that I can do that to him. I want to make it go away. So I lean in and kiss him hard on the lips. He kisses back. His tongue doesn't ask for access, but I open my mouth for it anyway. It is Hogs- _prom_ after all. Tonight expects sex... and I want make Harry feel good.

 

**Harry POV**

 

I am so glad I made it in time. Draco was sitting on the Astronomy Tower ledge when I made it. I'm so relieved that he didn't jump.

We sat and talked for a little bit. I gave him my robe so he doesn't get to cold. Then Draco really surprised me. He started kissing me and opened his mouth for me without warning. It surprised me because of what almost happened.

The blonde leans even more into the kiss and naturally I do the same. He tightly grips my my neck with his arms and pulls me down on top of him. I feel myself getting hot and fast. We continue kissing and as we do Draco pulls down my hips so I am grinding against him. This action alone gets me hard. Draco sees it and smiles. I sit up to try and hide it, but to my surprise Draco unbuttons my trousers and pulls me out.

“Damn, Potter! I didn't think you liked me that much.” He comments arrogantly. All I can do is blush in response. He instantly begins sucking me off, which causes me to groan with immense pleasure. I stare into Draco's beautiful silver eyes. In them I can see a longing to make me happy, but also deep pain and I know that pain is rooted to everything that has been going on this year.

I notice the blonde's boxers looking uncomfortably tight. “Let me help you now, Draco.” I say, reaching for his boxers. But he pushes my hand away and shakes his blonde head. “No.” Draco answers softly. “I just want to make you happy.”

“But Draco... I want to make you happy too, and that can't be comfor-” I am cut off when the Slytherin's tongue begins circling my tip. I let out a loud moan as I do Draco smiles at me.

Suddenly he stops and removes my jacket, followed by his ripped shirt and he lays down on his back. He then slips off his boxers. I stare at the beautiful form before me that is my boyfriend. I can see every scar on him. I can see that his self harm went beyond his arms and wrists. There are several cuts and scars on his thighs and stomach. I can even make out a few words carved into his skin 'freak' on his thigh and 'fat' on his stomach. Without warning Draco pulls me on top of him. “Please.” I reach for his own boner, but once again he bats my hand away and shakes his head. “Not that.” He then tries to angle my hips so that I am in line to enter him. However the moment I realise this I climb off of him. “What are you doing?” The blonde snaps.

“What am I doing... what are you doing?”

“It's Prom so I am letting you fuck me! Isn't that what you want?”

“No. I do want to sleep with you, but not like this. Draco you were nearly... nearly raped tonight.”

Draco pulls his boxers back on, along with my jacket and doesn't bother with the shirt. “So I'm too fucked up to fuck. Is that it?”

“I didn't mean it like that, but I know you don't really want our first time to be like this either. You're upset and not thinking clearly.” I say, trying to calm him down.

“Whatever.” Draco retorts. He then goes to a pillar in the tower loosens a brick and pulls out a lighter and a packet of cigarettes. He then sits on the ledge of the tower and lights one up.

I sit beside him. “I though you stopped that.” I say.

“I said I'd try to stop.” The Slytherin answers.

“So why the hidden packet?”

“In case of emergencies.”

“What sort of emergencies?” I asks, fearing the worst.

“Well Harry, as you so brilliantly pointed out. I was nearly raped tonight by my Godfather who was possessed by my father. So I'd say this qualifies as an emergency.”

“Fair enough.”

Draco begins mumbling a song, “ _It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck. I never stood a chance, my heart is frozen over and I feel like I am treading on this ice._ ”

“What song is that?” I ask. It sounds familiar.

“It's called 'Avalanche'. It is by a muggle band. You wouldn't know them.”

“Bring me the horizon, right?”

Draco almost chokes. “You know them!”

I nod. “In case you've forgotten I did grow up with muggles, and spent eleven years not knowing I was a wizard. Muggle bands helped my through all that in a way.”

 

 

**Draco POV**

 

I droop my head feeling like a dick for being so ignorant. I always forget everything Harry has been through with those rotten muggles he was dumped on. “Harry... I'm sorry.”

The Gryffindor smiles softly. “Come here you.” He says, pulling me into his arms. “You don't need to be sorry. Anyway I think it's pretty cool we like the same music.”

I nod. “I was going to jump.”

“Huh?”

“When I first came up here. I was going to jump, but something inside me asked me not to.” I admit.

“I'm so glad you listened to it.” Harry responds, kissing the back of my head. “I know you probably feel like shit at the moment and you wish you did jump, but I am so happy you didn't.”

“Thank you for not... you know.”

“I knew you were doing it because you were upset. And given tonight I knew weren't really ready for it.. I love you Draco and I don't ever want you to feel pressured into anything.”

I start to cry, heavily. Instead of saying anything Harry just hugs me tighter and gently rocks me.

“I've thought about it before.” Harry randomly says.

“Though about what?” I ask.

“Suicide. I thought of it a few times actually. The first time was back when I was 10 living at the Dursley's was that bad. My cousin and his friends were always bullying me and then my uncle calling me names and beating me. At 10 years old it was more than I could take.”

I am still laying in Harry's arms and through his confession I took his hand, are fingers locking. I pull his hand to my lips and I kiss the back of his hand. “I'm sorry you went through that. What about the other times? You don't have to tell me though... if you don't want to.”

“I do want to, but later. Right now we need to get you into bed. You need to get warm and rest.” Harry then stands up, pulling me up with him and pulls out his invisibility cloak out of his jacket inside pocket. I look at his in confusion. “Extension charm. I wanted to pack it just in case.”

The Gryffindor then takes my hand and throws the cloak over us as we sneak into Slytherin and then to my dorm room. “I figured you wouldn't want to brave the halls in just your boxers and my jacket.”

I smile weakly at his comment and grab my pyjamas, and towel. “I'm going to shower. I need to scrub tonight off me.”

“Okay. I'm going to wait out here.” I nod and walk towards my bathroom. “Draco...” I turn on my heels. “Please _try_ to not cut. I know it will be hard given everything that's happened tonight, but... please.”

“I'll try.” I sigh, closing the bathroom door. I turn on the water to let it heat up. I then slide of Harry's jacket and my boxers, and I hop in. The water is a little too hot, but I welcome the burning sting. I pick up the bar of lemon soap and turn it over. I've hidden a blade underneath it, because it's somewhere Pansy and Blaise won't think to look. I hold the blade in my hand and bring it to my wrist. All I want is to bring it across. However I did say I would try. Tonight has been too much, but... if I can resist tonight... then maybe I can stop. For good. I have my shower and when I step out I set the blade on the sink while I dry off and get into my bed clothes.

“Harry.” I call, opening the bathroom door.

“Yeah.” Harry replies, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Here, I don't want it any more.” I say, handing him the blade. A worried expression crosses his face. “I didn't use it. I almost did, but I didn't.”

The Gryffindor flashes me that dopey smile of his. “Thank you, Draco. I'm so proud of you.” A tear leaves his eye.

“Now don't get all mushy on me.” I jokingly retort, rolling my eyes.

We then climb into bed and hope that tomorrow will bring a better day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly." - Sleeping With Sirens
> 
> I am so proud of Draco for putting down the blade and of Harry for being a good guy.  
> Thank you guys so much for reading my story and for the Kudos and comments. They mean the absolute world to me, as do you guys!  
> Until the next chapter ;)


	27. Cinnamon Hot Chocolate

**Draco POV**

 

I can't sleep at all tonight. I'm trying, but I just can't. I suppose it's to be expected. Harry is sleeping like a bloody log. I envy how easy he finds it to sleep. Even the stupid muggle sleeping tablets aren't working.

I slip out of Harry's arms putting a pillow in place so he doesn't wake up. I throw on my Slytherin robe and Harry's invisibility cloak. I also grab my iPod on my way out.

I climb the dungeon stairs and scroll through my music. I finally decide on my favourite Saywecanfly song 'The Art Of Anaesthesia' I get so lost in the lyrics that I don't see the figure in front of me. I bump into someone and I pull out my earphones as I do.

“Harry?” Professor Lupin asks.

“Eh... no, sir.” I reply, revealing myself.

“Oh Draco. My dear boy what has you wondering the halls at this hour? It's almost 3am.”

“Sorry... I couldn't sleep sir.”

The werewolf nods and smiles sadly at me. “No apology necessary. I myself find it difficult to sleep most nights.” I smile at his kindness. He really has no reason to be kind towards me. He does it regardless. “I think a nice cup of hot chocolate is just what we both need.” He says, leading me towards his chambers.

When we reach his chambers I take a seat on his sofa as he places two cups of hot chocolate with cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top. It looks mouth watering.

I can't help but think he knew he was going to run into me. He then sits down in the armchair opposite me. “I hope you don't mind, but I much prefer cinnamon on my hot chocolate. It's much nicer than those marshmallows... They're too sweet for my liking.”

I shake my head. “No problem. I love cinnamon.”

The werewolf smiles kindly at my reply, before asking his own question. “So Draco, what is troubling you that you can't sleep?”

“Nothing, Profes-”

“Draco, before we start. You don't need to address me so formally. You may call me Remus.” I can't help but feel shame at how kind he is being. I don't care what Harry says. I don't deserve it. “I don't hold grudges dear boy. And I am Harry's legal guardian. I am aware of the relationship between you two, and I have no objections. Now back to my question.” Again I shake my head. “It helps to talk about it.”

“No-” I choke. My emotions threatening to get the better of me. _Again._

“I know about earlier.” Lupin states shifting beside me and placing a comforting hand on my back. “I know all about Lucius possessing Severus.”

“What? How?” I ask, utterly shocked at the werewolf's knowledge.

The kindness in Lupin's smile doesn't falter as he answers my question. “Severus and I have been friends for years. However this year we have grown particularly close, so naturally I noticed the changes in his behaviour. I knew something was off. Then tonight after Pansy, Ronald and Hermione explained _everything_ to him, he came to see me.”

I suddenly feel like a dark force is gripping my soul. “Was Snape okay?”

Lupin sighs heavily. “The last time I saw him like that he had just killed Dumbledore.” My mind instantly shifts to that night in the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore's kindness never faltered... much like Lupin's. I guess it's where he got it from. “Severus practically collapsed in my arms in a flood of tears. He blames himself terribly for it all-”

“But it's not his fault!” I blurt. The force gripping my soul feels as though it is tightening it grip making it a little more difficult to breath.

“I know that, Draco. It's going to be hard to convince him though. He always was stubborn.” The werewolf almost chuckles at his last statement.

I feel horrible. If only I had never been born. Then my father wouldn't feel the need to use Snape to hurt me because... well I wouldn't exist.

“How are _you_ , Draco? How have you been coping with all of this?”

“Something tells me you already know the answer to that.” I reply, raising an eyebrow.

Lupin nods. “I do. You know your Godfather used to self harm too.”

“I know. He told me couple of weeks ago. He even showed me the scars.” The moment I say it the werewolf looks taken aback. “What?”

“I'm just surprised he showed you his arms. He is very self conscious about them you see.”

“I know the feeling.” I sigh.

“Snape worries a great deal about you, Draco. You scared us all when you went to far with your self harm.” Lupin tells.

“Of course you know about that too.” I retort, rolling my eyes. “Is there anything you don't know? I swear you're as bad as Dumbledore was.”

The werewolf rolls over in a fit of laughter. “I don't think I'm that bad. There is plenty of things I don't know. I would name a few, however I don't know them.”

“Did... did Snape ever go too far?.. like I did.” I ask, letting my curiosity get the better of me.

Lupin nods. “It was after Lily Potter was killed by Voldemort...” I shudder at his name. “Severus went completely off the rails after that. He became a death eater out of a thirst for revenge. He was always evidently depressed. He was cutting a great deal more. The loss he was feeling was so great and as a result so was the pain. I guess he couldn't fight the battle in his mind any longer.”

“What happened?”

“He locked himself in his chambers here at Hogwarts. Dumbledore and I hadn't seen or heard from him in days, so naturally we were concerned. When we finally got into his room he was laying on his bed with blood soaked sheets. Although he did and always will deny it... I'm certain he was trying to kill himself.”

“I tried to kill myself a few weeks ago. When Snape took me to the hospital wing everyone was asking why I did it. I just told them I accidentally went too deep. No one believed me of course, just as well because I was lying.” I sigh.

“Draco, it is perfectly okay to admit that things became too much. You are human. And Malfoy or not you are still capable of feeling pain. However that also means you are capable of feeling joy. All is not as hopeless as it seems. Things will get better.”

“Yeah once we do away with my father.” I scoff.

“I assume Hermione has devised a plan. She really is the brightest witch I've ever had the pleasure to meet, let alone teach.”

I shake my head. “No, she hasn't.” The uneasy surprise on Lupin's face is evident. “There's nothing we can do. The only way for him to move on is if he completes his 'unfinished business'”

“Which is what?”

“We don't know that either. Only that whatever it is, it has something to do with me.” I sigh heavily. “I sometimes wonder if I should just hand myself over. What would it matter anyway?”

The werewolf shakes his head as I take a sip of my now lukewarm hot chocolate. “You mustn't give in to the darkness, Draco. If not for yourself then for the sake of everyone else around you.”

“Your wrong.” I laugh, humourlessly. “I'm the reason that my father is after us all. By helping me they are all putting themselves in danger. Lucius could and would kill them all and it would be my fault, simply because I exist.”

“Is that why you tried to kill yourself? You thought if you were dead that Lucius would leave and everyone would be safe.” Lupin says, tenderly. I nod, feeling tears burning my eyes. Lupin then pulls me into a hug. I allow myself to give into the comfort. “Oh dear boy, you mustn't give into the darkness. Whatever Lucius wants you for is evil and if he is able to succeed, it will be disastrous for all of us. Not only that, but so many people care about you and would be devastated if you died.” I sit up, furrowing my brows. “I for one would miss you and your skills in my classroom. Severus, I don't think he would survive it if he lost you. He loves you like his own son. I know for a fact, Harry would miss you. I can see how much he loves and cares for you. Your friends, Pansy and Blaise.”

“Okay, I hear what your saying.” I comply, smiling slightly. I still don't entirely believe him. But for the sake of his kindness I will pretend I do. I'm also too tired to fight it any more.

Once again he smiles kindly at me, as I finish my now freezing cold hot chocolate. “Well... you better get back to your dorm and get some sleep.”

I nod. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, and for listening. I do feel better talking to someone.” I pause for a moment. “I don't understand something though.”

“What is it you don't understand, Draco?”

“How can you be so kind to me? I'm an ex death eater, my aunt killed your closest friend and I have tortured many people, and I'm going out with your Godson.”

“Like I said before, I don't hold grudges. Yes, Sirius' death was very difficult. But it _was_ your aunt, Bellatrix that murdered him. Not you! What you did was under Voldemort and your father's orders. If you didn't obey I am certain you would have paid with your life. And finally... I will always support Harry. I don't care in the slightest that he is gay, and it's obvious how happy you make him. Would I be correct in saying that he makes you happy?”

I nod, blushing furiously. “He makes me very happy.” I answer.

Lupin chuckles at my red cheeks. “On that note, I shall bid you good night.”

“Good night, Professor. Thanks again for everything.”

“It was my pleasure.” I turn to leave. “Oh and, Draco?”

“Yes?”

“Talk to Snape.”

“I will.” With that I leave and head back to my dorm. However I dilly dally, taking my time on getting back. Once again I plug into my iPod. I put on my favourite Sleeping With Sirens song 'Who Are you now' I quietly sing the lyrics to myself. “ _Don’t, don’t, don’t wake me up  
‘Cause I hate who I am today..._” I take a detour to the bathroom, not realising I had been holding it in. Once I am finished I wash my hands. I go to leave, but catch my reflection in the mirror.

I look like absolute shit. Under my eyes is purple from lack of sleep. My hair is unkempt and my skin makes me look like a vampire. Undoubtedly this is the toll my father's haunting is taking on me. “You make me hate my own reflection, question every choice I've made. So I could try to be perfect, but I will try to be fake.” I mumble to myself. How all this shit is affecting me, is how it is going to affect everyone else. There isn't even a glint of hope in my eyes. I don't think I could bare to see that in Harry's beautifully hope filled eyes. I have to do something. I don't care what happens to me as long as I can save them.

 

**Harry POV**

 

“I can't remember the last time I've slept this well.” I mumble, before opening my eyes. When I do I am instantly worried, as Draco is nowhere in sight. “Draco? Draco!”

“Merlin, Harry! I'm right here.” The blonde responds closing the door and walking over to the bed.

“Where were you?” I ask.

“I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk. Nothing to worry about.” Draco strips down to his boxers and climbs back into bed beside me, fixing the pillow that was in place of him. I snuggle behind him wrapping my arms around his thin frame.

“What are you doing for the Christmas holiday's?” I ask.

“That's ages away.”

“It's this weekend.”

“Oh... I don't know then. Pansy and Blaise are going home I think. I'll probably just stay here.”

“Alone?” Draco shrugs his shoulders in response. “No, your coming to the burrow with me.”

The blonde turns over to face me. “The Weasley's home? I don't think that's such a good idea. They hate me.”

“They do! The conflict between the Weasleys and Malfoys runs too deep. Besides Ron wouldn't like it.”

“It doesn't have to stay that way, and Ron is warming up to you. The Weasley's are lovely and once they know what's going on, they wouldn't have you staying here by yourself either. It's too dangerous.”

“Must I?” Draco moans.

“Please.” I beg.

He rolls his grey eyes at me. “Okay, I'll go.”

I smile, kissing him on the lips. “Great!” I exclaim. I kiss him again, this time on the forehead. “I will owl Mrs Weasley in the morning.”

Draco snuggles his head under my chin, I warp my arms around him again. I wish we could stay this way forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. I had writers block and I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. However I am back on track and I am much better. I plan to update more reguarly now.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me. I love you guys for the Kudos and I love reading your guys comments. You guys make me smile so much, I love it!
> 
> Until the next chapter ;)


	28. Twas The Night Of Second Chances

**Ron**

 

“He's fucking what!” Ron yells. “There is no fucking way is staying at ours for Christmas. No!”

Ginny rolls her eyes at her brother. “Mum already said it's okay.”

“She what?” Ron is sounding more annoyed by the second.

“Calm down, Ronald.” I scold.

"No, Mione! I won't, because it's not fucking happening!"

Harry angrily crosses his arms. "Then you can stay here over Christmas."

"Fuck off, Harry!" Ron retorts.

"Don't you dare talk to him like that!" Ginny scolds. "Draco is staying at ours over Christmas. Whether you like it or not. So build a bridge and get over it."

Ron grumbles. "I get he's Harry's boyfriend and all, but why does he have to stay with us?"

Harry sighs. "Because he has no one else. Voldemort killed his mother, his father's ghost is trying to kill him-"

"What about Snape? After all he is his Godfather." Ron interrupts.

"And what if Lucius possesses him?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"You used that spell to get rid of him, didn't you?"

"It's a temporary spell. He will come back." I reply.

Ron plops down on the sofa by the Gryffindor fire place in a huff. Harry walks over to him and sits beside his best friend. The raven haired boy has a heart breaking expression on his face.

"What now, Harry?" Ron snaps.

Harry looks up at him with tears in his eyes. "Please, Ron. What if... what if he tries to kill himself again? If he's here alone and tries again, I might not get to him in time. I can't lose him."

Ron studies, Harry's face. "Okay, okay. Malfoy can come for Christmas."

Harry leaps up and embraces Ron. "Thank you!"

"I'm still not happy about it, but I don't want Malfoy to die. Even if he is a git." Ron admits.

"Well now that's out of the way, Hermione and I are going to go pack." Ginny exclaims, leading the way to our dormitories.

 

**Draco POV**

 

"Harry, are you sure it's okay? The last thing I want is to be a bother?" I hesitantly ask. Harry and I are walking towards the Hogwarts Express to go to London. We're meeting Mr and Mrs Weasley at The Leakey Cauldron. I can't help but feel like I am imposing. Especially after what my father did to their only daughter in her first year.

"Draco, it's okay. I promise. Mrs Weasley said herself that she wouldn't have it any other way. She knows the danger you'd be in here." Harry replies, linking his fingers with mine. He then grabs my other hand and turns me around to face him. He then places his right arm around my waist and pulls me close. Dozens of students rush past us to get to the train, but at this moment it feels like we are the only two people on the platform. I stroke the Gryffindor's chin with my thumb. "You are pretty amazing Potter, you know that?" I smile.

"I've been told that." He arrogantly replies.

"You're also a smug prat." I retort.

"I've been told that also, mostly by Ron." Harry laughs. Fuck! I love his laugh. I place a light kiss on his lips. "As much as I love this... if we don't move we are going to miss the train." I nod and he leads me on the train, fingers still locked with mine.

As the train begins pulling out of Hogsmeade we find the others. I sit by the window, facing Pansy. Weasley and Granger sit beside her, and Harry sits closely beside me.

I take this as an opportunity to plug into my earphones and look at the breath taking view.

Content, I don't even notice as I drift off to sleep.

 

_"Draco, darling. It's Christmas morning. Time to wake up." I hear my mother softly say._

_My eyes flutter open. "Okay. Mummy, can I have pancakes for breakfast?" I ask, sweetly._

_My mother smiles at me and places a kiss on my forehead. "Of course. Chocolate chip okay?" I enthusiastically nod my head in response._

_Mother leaves my room to make breakfast. I then leap out of bed and run after her. On the way to the kitchen I see our house elf dusting the banister. "Hey, Dobby. Merry Christams." I greet._

_"Merry Christmas to you too, young master, Draco."_ _The_ _elf_ _replies_. " _How_ _did_ _you_ _sleep?"_

_"Wonderfully. I can't wait to open my presents." I exclaim._

_"Now young master, Draco. You know you must wait for your father. You don't want to make him angry." Dobby warns._

_I shake my head fearfully. "I'll go help mummy with breakfast." I suggest._

_Dobby smiles at me. "What a lovely idea."_

_As I walk into the kitchen the first thing I see is the chocolate chips. I run for the bowl, but mother sees me before I can get any. "Na uh, Draco. They are for pancakes only." She scolds softly._

_"When can we open presents?"_

_"Your_ _father_ _will_ _be_ _back_ _soon_ _after_ _breakfast. Then_ _you_ _can_ _open_ _your_ _presents, baby."_

 _"I'm_ _not_ _a_ _baby. I'm_ _seven_ _years_ _old_." _I_ _say,_ _scrunching_ _my_ _nose_ _at_ _the_ _pet_ _name._

_"Your my baby."_

_"Where is father anyway?"_

_"No where you need to worry about. Now sit at the table the pancakes are ready." I obey and tuck into my pancakes without giving my father's whereabouts a second thought._

 

"Draco... Draco wake up." I hear a familiar voice call. I open my eyes to see Harry looking down at me, flashing me that adorable smile of his. "We're here. Time to go."

I get up and follow Harry on to the platform.

The second I step off the train the cold winter air hits me. I shiver at the touch, however the feel of it is rather refreshing. The scene of Platform 9 3/4 at Christmas is both festive and comforting. Students running to see their parents for a happy embrace.

"Draco! Over here." Harry calls. I begin walking towards him. As I do I am shot with stares and glare from parents. Feeling uncomfortable I zip up my favourite black hoodie and I put up my hood.

Harry sees my discomfort and takes my hand to gesture that he doesn't care what they think. This action warms my heart with love. "Draco, I would like you to meet the  woman who basically took me in as her own son, since my first time on this platform."

The red haired woman smiles brightly at me. "Hello, Draco dear. How was the journey down?"

"It was quite pleasant, thank you. I mostly just slept." I reply, with a weak smile.

Mrs Weasley wraps me up in a warm motherly embrace. "Good for you, dear. I'm glad you were able to get some rest."

"Thank you so much for letting me stay in your home. Given our families history I would have understood if you said no."

"My dear boy, if there is one thing I don't do it is hold a grudge."

I do believe her, but I can't help testing her sincerity. "But my father almost killed you only daughter." 

"Exactly! Your father, not you. I understand your cynicism, but you don't need to be with me. We can't help what we are born into. It is our actions that show who we really are. Harry has filled me in on  _everything_ and I can see for myself that you are nothing like your father." I shy at her conviction and kindness. Knowing I don't deserve it.

"Can we go mum? I'm bloody starving." Ron moans.

"Ronald Weasley, watch your language!" Mrs Weasley scolds.

"I didn't fucking swear!" Ron shouts back.

Mrs Weasley is now fuming at Ron, which I must admit I quite enjoy. "Ronald, I swear I am going to use the most intense cleaning spell I know on that mouth of yours."

We all burst out laughing at this thought. I don't doubt that she would do it.

 

**Harry POV**

 

When we get to the burrow the Weasleys allow us to go to our rooms to unpack and settle in. Draco and I are sharing a room. Mainly so I can keep an eye on him, but also because Ron refused to room with him.

The blonde silently sits on his bed. His bag is unopened, even now his hood is still up. Something feels off. There are times he is fine. Smiling and happy. Other times he's very on edge and... paranoid? However the worst is when he is so clearly depressed. Like now. It terrifies the fuck out of me. His mood changes are more drastic than Snape's and it's different.

"Harry, why am I hear?" Draco whispers so quietly I almost didn't hear it.

"Because I love you and I didn't want you to be alone on Christmas." I smile, sitting beside him on his bed.

"Oh." He answers, more weakly.

"Draco, what's wrong? Your scaring me."

He shake his blonde head and I pull him into my arms. "I don't know." He mumbles. I kiss his head, rocking him in my arms.

 

Soon Mr Weasley comes up the stairs. "Boys it is time for dinner. Mrs Weasley has cooked up a storm and if we are not down in the next five minutes, we might just lose our heads." He chuckles, stopping the moment he sees us. His face becomes one of concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. We're coming down now. Just a little tired from the journey." I reply.

Arthur nods in understanding. "I shall see you both down there then."

Draco and I follow him down to the chaotic dining room and kitchen. The long dining table is mouth watering, littered with potatoes meats, vegetables and all kinds of deserts. We sit down at the table and as we do Mr Weasley walks over holding his right hand out for Draco to shake. "I forgot to introduce myself upstairs. I'm Arthur Weasley and I am fascinated by muggles as I'm sure you already know."

Draco shakes his hand in respect. "Uh... Draco, Draco Malfoy."

"I know who you are." Arthur chuckles. "Do you share your father's pureblood views?" He asks, inquisitively.

The blonde shakes his head. "No. I did when I was younger, but not any more. I want nothing more to do with my father, Mr Weasley." I am so proud of his honesty.

A proud smile spreads across the kind man's face. "Why, of course you don't my boy. You are your own person. And call me Arthur. I better get back to Mrs Weasley. It is an absolute pleasure to meet you, Draco. I do hope you enjoy your stay with us."

"Thanks, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you too." The Slytherin smiles. I love his smile, I do wish he would do it more often.

Upon studying his grey eyes I can see that they have lit up to the decoration of the room. I suddenly hear a rumble coming from Draco's stomach. The rumble is so loud it silences the whole room. Fred, George, Ginny, Neville, Mr and Mrs Weasley, and when did Remus get here? Anyway the all, including myself, are a staring at Draco. His face has gone deep red.

"A little hungry there, Malfoy." Fred and George laugh.

Then my own stomach rumbles and the entire room bursts into laughter.

"Well the food isn't going to eat it's self. Everyone dig in." Mrs Weasley says.

Everyone does as instructed. Even Draco is having a decent portion of food.

I really hope this week is just what he needs to get better.

"What?" Draco asks.

"Huh?" 

"Harry, you were staring at me."

"I was?" I ask, combing my fingers through my already messy hair.

"Yeah, you were."

"I was just thinking how happy I am that you're here."

The blonde smiles brightly at me. "I am too. What else were you thinking?"

"That I hope this week away from Hogwarts is just what you need to feel better." I answer, honestly.

"I think it is, because I'm already feeling better." He smiles again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait, it's here.  
> Thank you guys so much for reading and all those kudos. I am missing your comments, regardless you guys are truly amazing!  
> I hope you enjoy it.  
> Until the next chapter ;)


	29. Runaway Before Christmas

**Draco** **POV**

I awake from another nightmare, no doubt caused by my father. I no longer remember my nightmares when I wake up, but they still leave me shaken up. When this happens I normally sneak into Gryffindor and climb in beside Harry. Other times he is already beside me, so I curl into his arms and instantly feel better. Judging by the sky outside it's only about 1am.

I get up out of bed to climb in beside Harry, but I soon see that Harry isn't in his bed. This confuses me, as Harry isn't normally awake at this time.

I make my down the mountain of stairs to see if I can find him. I get as far as the living room and I stop upon hearing his voice.

"Today he scared the shit out of me. He was fine on the train, but when I was unpacking he just sat on the bed staring out the window. He was dangerously quiet and when he did speak he sounded so... so...  _ depressed _ ." I heard Harry say.

"Even I have noticed the changes in his behaviour and moods." Snape interjects.  _ When did Snape, get here?  _ I think to myself.

"You don't suppose Lucius, is getting to him do you?" Ron asks.

"Of course, he is!" Snape snaps.

"Calm down, Severus. He meant in the same way he got to you. Is Lucius, possessing him?" Lupin answers my Godfather.

"No." Harry begins. "I would know, I spend the most time with him. While his mood changes can be as drastic as Snape's were, it's different. I don't how to explain it."

"Sounds to me, like he has some kind of mood disorder."  _ Who asked your opinion Granger.  _ I think in response.

"Oh yes! I've read about those on a muggle medical leaflet. It was very interesting." Mr Weasley adds. I can't help, but smile at his childlike interest and excitement with muggle things.

"Really, Arthur? This is no time to discuss how fascinating muggle things are." Mrs Weasley scolds her husband.

"Perhaps a trip to St. Mungo's after the holidays would be a good idea. Someone there would be able to determine what is wrong." Remus suggests.

_ No, I don't need to go to St. Mungo's. I'm fine. _

"Draco, does not need to go to some hospital!" Harry protests.

_ That's right! You tell them, Harry. _

"Harry," Granger begins, "The wizarding world is not immune to mental illnesses. Just look at Tom Riddle."

"Draco, is nothing like Voldemort. He wouldn't go running around killing people for power!" Harry snaps.

"We know he wouldn't do that mate, but... he might kill himself." Ron says.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Ronald." Snape interjects.

"That was weeks ago." Harry tries to protest. I love him for standing up for me.

"And if he tries again?" Snape's question is met only with silence, "And I know he hasn't stopped self harming."

I decide I don't want, nor do I need to hear any more. I make my way back up the stairs. I pick up my bag, which is still unopened. I didn't see the point in unpacking. I figured the Weasleys would remember everything I've done and then not want me in their home any more. But after hearing how much I've worried everyone, I don't want me in their home any more. I don't deserve their kindness, and I refuse to cause Harry, and Snape, any more hurt and worry. They're better off and safer without me.

With that thought in mind, I creep the stairs, moving extra quietly past the living room. They are all still talking, but I don't stop to listen. As soon as I'm outside, I grab my broom out of my bag. I'm glad I thought to pack it. I had to use an extension spell to fit it in, but it was worth it. I mounted my broom and flew off into the night. At this hour I don't have to worry about muggles seeing me, but just to be safe I fly through the clouds for extra camouflage.

It's about an hour before sunrise, so I lower my broom and land somewhere along a coast. I'm not entirely sure where I am, but it doesn't matter. I find a comfortable spot in the sand to lay down and rest.

 

**Harry POV**

I lower my head and sigh, "You're right. We can't take that chance."

"Then it's settled." Arthur Weasley concludes, "We will take Draco, to St. Mungos after Christmas."

"Now that is sorted, everyone back to bed. Ronald is a pain when he doesn't get enough sleep." Mrs Weasley orders.

"Mum!" Ron wines, leading the way up the stairs.

I feel ready to drop as I finally reach mine and Draco's, room, "Do you want me to come in beside you?" I ask, upon entering the room. However I instantly notice he isn't in his bed and that his bag is missing. I run back out of the room, "He's gone! Draco, ran away!" I shout down the stairwell.

"What? How?" Mrs Weasley calls back, from the bottom of the stairs.

Suddenly heads begin popping over the stairs banister. "I thought he was asleep when you left?" Ron asks.

"He was!" I reply.

I can see Mr Weasley scratching his head in confusion, "Surely we weren't talking for that long."

I let out a frustrated sigh, "None of that matter! Draco, is missing and we need to find him. It's not safe for him to be on his own. There are witches and wizards who refuse to forget the Malfoy's part in the war."

Hermione nods in agreement, "Okay, so what's the plan? Where would he go?"

I pause a moment to think, "I don't know."

"Potter, think!" Severus snaps.

I see Lupin place a hand on Snape's shoulder to calm him down a bit, "Did he say anything to you on the train?" Lupin asks.

"No, he slept the whole journey."

"What about his sleep?" Ron asks, dumbly.

"Huh?" I can never understand Ron when he is lazy or tired with forming sentences.

"What Ron, means is... Did he say anything in his sleep?" Hermione interjects.

I think over the train journey for a few minutes, "I know where he is!"

 

**Draco POV**

_ "You may now open your presents, Draco." My Father announced to me. I looked over at Mother, she nodded at me. I took that as permission to go ahead. I tore open the biggest present first, naturally. _

_ It was a Hogwarts express train set, "Thank you, Father! I love it!" _

_ "It is your mother you should thank. I wanted to get you the 'All Of Pure-blood History' book." My Father answered, with an expressionless. Nothing new there. _

_ "Thanks, Mum-" Father raised an eyebrow in disapproval. "Thank you, Mother." I corrected. _

_ "This is from me." Father said, handing me a present wrapped in emerald wrapping paper. _

_ The present turned out to be father's Slytherin scarf, from when he was at Hogwarts. "Thank you, Father." I said out of respect. Even as a child my Father was unaffectionate towards me. However it didn't bother, because it was all I knew. _

_ "When you walk into the Great Hall for the first time and have that ignorant sorting hat place upon your head, I know you will follow in my footsteps and be sorted into Slytherin. You will make me proud." Father smiled. It was a rare thing to see my Father smile. It was even rarer for it to be directed at me. So when it did happen I lapped it up. _

_ "I won't disappoint you." I answered, naively. Due to my childish ignorance, I really meant it. _

_ Later that evening I was playing with my train set. It was the most amazing toy ever. You could make the train fly above the track using a simple levitation spell. Which I was able to do with a toy wand for my sixth birthday last year. He wanted me to have a head start at learning spells. _

_ It was then that Dobby came in to clean the living room. "Hello, Master Draco. I am very pleased to see you again." Dobby greeted me. _

_ "I'm very pleased to see yo too. Mother and Father are busy with work stuff, so I have no one to play with." _

_ "I'm sorry, Master Draco, is so lonely." _

_ "Do you want to play with me? I won't tell Father, I promise." I urged. _

_ "Maybe for a little while." _

_ I was the train driver and Dobby was the crazy trolley lady. It was so much fun. I loved it when Dobby would play with me. He was my best friend. _

_ "Dobby!" Father screamed, causing us both to tremble with fear, "Why are fraternising with my son?" _

_ "My apologizes, Master Malfoy." The elf pleaded. _

_ "Never mind the pointless apologies, elf! Just get in that kitchen and help my wife with dinner!" He ordered, kicking Dobby hard as he moved towards the kitchen. _

_ Angry at Father for mistreating my friend I rose to my feet, to stand up to him. "You didn't have to kick him! He was only playing with me, because I asked him to." I yelled. _

_ Father lifted his hand to strike me, demolishing my sudden burst of confidence. In stead of hitting me he grabbed me by the scruff. "Don't you ever speak to me like that again! And if I catch you playing with the help again, he will receive more than that. Am I understood?" I nodded fearfully. With that my Father left me, fighting back tears. _

I awoke to the sun shinning in my face. I was a beautiful sight to wake up to. I soon remembered where I am and why I'm here. I'm a little bit away from where Dobby was buried.

I asked Harry, the other day how he died. He hesitantly told me in every detail I asked for. Naturally I asked where he had buried him.

I'm here to do something that I should have done a long time ago.

I get up and begin walking along the shore. As I get closer, I drift more towards the sandy embankment. It isn't long until I find what I'm looking for.

I stop and stare at Dobby's grave. A wave of emotion overcomes me, making it impossible for me to stay standing. I fall to my knees and trace the words on the stone with my fingers.

_ 'Here lies, Dobby. A free elf.' _

I couldn't say it before, but I'm glad Harry, freed Dobby. I should have done it a long time ago, but I was too afraid of my father. After that Christmas, our friendship began to deteriorate.

"I'm so sorry, Dobby." I say, to where his body lay, "It's my fault you died. I should have been braver to stop, Bellatrix. I shouldn't have let Lucius, treat you the way he did. And I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend." I begin to sob.

Suddenly a hand is placed on my shoulder, "I'm sure you were a better friend than you think." I tun around to see Harry, standing behind me.

"How did you find me?" I ask.

Harry, gets down on his knees beside me, "I remembered you asking me about how Dobby, died. And where he was buried. You also kept mumbling his name and saying how sorry you were on the train. It wasn't hard to work out." The Gryffindor pauses, "Why did you run away?"

"I overheard you all talking last night. A conversation concerning my mental state. I hate myself for causing you all to worry so much. So I thought it better to leave, and without me you're all safe from, Lucius."

Harry shakes his head in disagreement, "You're wrong. You can't fight him alone and if he gets what he wants the whole world, wizards and muggles, will be in danger. We are all in this fight together. As for your mental state, I know yo don't like the idea of going to St. Mungos, but wouldn't it be better to deal with it? So you have one less battle to fight."

I consider all that the Gryffindor said, "I guess you're right." I comply.

"Then let's get back to burrow. Everyone was worried sick." Harry tells, helping me to my feet. 

 


	30. Scares & Plans

**Ron POV**

 

Well we're back at Hogwarts after a dramatic holiday. Like that's never bloody happened before. I was happy at all with having Malfoy stay, but I'll admit I was worried when he ran away. I was mainly worried for Harry. I know he loves the bloody git, and he would never forgive himself if something happened to him.

The trip to St. Mungos was fun. Naturally Ferret Face fought it, even after agreeing to go. But I understand why he did fight it. I wouldn't like to go to a wizard hospital for a more commonly muggle condition. Turns out Hermione had it right... again. Malfoy was diagnosed with Bipolar type one, which is a really bad mood disorder.

In the muggle world it's treated with a cocktail of pills. In the wizarding world it's treated with one potion to stable the moods a bit and lessen the depression. There is a tranquillizer potion for if Malfoy becomes more of a danger to himself. I do hope it never comes to that.

Despite the drama Christmas was pretty incredible with the house full, it's just like it should be.

I am happy to be back at Hogwarts though. However I am ready for an ear lashing from Hermione for not having my homework done. I am planning to sweet talk her into helping me.

I am currently making my way to the library. It's probably a good idea to have the books I need for Hermione to help me. She'd shoot me a hex if I'm not at least prepared for the work.

I get to the library and grab the books I need. I go to leave but I spot an interesting comic book. I pick it up and find a seat in the corner of the library to read it. I love muggle comics, but wizard comics are way better. They literally jump out of the page.

I get about half way through the story, when the lights begin to flicker. I assume a Slytherin first year must be trying to prank me.

“ _Why...”_ A whisper echos.

I stand up, looking around me, “Okay, short snakes. Fun's over. You can come out now.” I call to the empty library. Suddenly the book cases closed in around me. I'm beginning to think this isn't a prank.

“Why are you helping my son?” The whisper says, from behind me. I turn to see a slightly transparent Lucius standing in front of me, “You've always hated, Draco. So why are you helping him, when you could be rid of him?”

“Because he may be a git, but he's not an evil bastard like you. And Harry loves him.” I reply, confidently.

Lucius lets out a frustrated and terrifying roar. “I need you to hate my son! I want him to hurt!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Draco is your son! Why are you so set on making his life a living hell?”

“Because I want him to kill himself!” Lucius roared, even louder. “In order for me to be resurrected as the next dark lord, I need a willing sacrifice and it _must_ be from my bloodline for it to work. The sacrifice need only be willing to die, for it to work. I knew my son would never sacrifice himself for me, but if depressed enough and to protect those he most cares about Draco, will give up his life willingly.”

I narrow my eyes at the cruel figure before me, “You really are an evil fucking bastard.” I spit.

“Why, thank you.” The ghost grins. “Now run along and be sure to pass on to my son that when he is ready to give up his miserable excuse for a life, I will be waiting.” Lucius then parts the book cases. The moment he does I run straight for Gryffindor Tower, completely abandoning my homework books.

 

**Draco POV**

 

I am laying across Harry's, lap on the sofa by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Granger has been pacing the length of the fire place for what feels like an hour.

“What is keeping him?” She mutters to herself, “I'll bet he hasn't even bothered to get the books he needs from the library.” She says, turning to face us.

“It's a good thing you already have them then, isn't is?” I grin, hoping to calm her down a bit.

“That's not the point, Draco. Ron, should have been here half an hour ago and final exams are only twenty weeks away.” Hermione replies.

“It's that long!” Harry and I both exclaim.

“I know! It's so close.” She agrees, not realizing we didn't mean it that way. For the brightest witch of her age, she does have her dense moments. It's then Ron stupidly runs into the common room. Hermione, instantly pounces on him. I must admit, it is rather amusing to see Weasley pinned to floor by a girl. “Where the hell have you been, Ronald Weasley?” She rages at him.

“Get off, Mione. I'm sorry I'm late but I was kind of cornered with book cases.”

“And you say books aren't dangerous, Granger.” I laugh.

The red head manges to get free from Hermione, and stand up to make his way over to us, “This isn't the time for your snarky comments, Malfoy.” He snaps.

“So what kept you?” Harry asks his flustered friend.

Ron looks at us all with a seriously fearful expression, “Lucius is back.”

I jump out of Harry's, lap and onto my feet, “What! But Hermione used the spell on him. We still have a good four days left.”

Granger shakes her head, “The can last up to two weeks. It can wear off sooner.”

I take a moment to compose myself, “So what did he want with you?” I ask Weasley.

“He wanted to know why I was helping you. He hoped I would help him in making your life as miserable as can be.” Ron answers.

“I take it, you know what his full plan is?” Granger asks, carefully.

He gravely nods his red head, “I do... and it's not good.”

“Tell us.” I demand.

Weasley, gives Harry, a look. He then turns to me with concerned emerald eyes, “Are you sure, Draco?”

I nod at Weasely, “I'm sure.”

Ron lets out a heavy sigh before beginning, “We already knew Lucius-”

“Ron, are you sure it's a good idea to tell them?” Granger says, grabbing her boyfriend's hand.

“It's Malfoy, Lucius needs. It's important he knows.”

The Gryffindor girl smiles at him, “Okay. Continue.”

“We already knew Lucius was planning to drive Draco, to suicide so he has a sacrifice willing to die. Then he can resurrect himself and become the next dark lord.” Ron begins, again.

“What? I didn't already know that! I knew about the dark lord part, but not the rest.” Harry yells.

“Sorry, mate. Snape, told us all that when you ran after Draco, at Hogs-Prom.” Ron apologizes.

“And you didn't think to tell me!” I can see Harry, becoming more and more riled up.

I lean over and kiss him on the cheek, I then move to sit on his lap and I pull his arms around my waist. Although I am not comfortable in this position, especially in the Gryffindor common room, where anyone can walk in and see. However this action seems to defuse Harry, so I suck it in. “So why is it me he _needs_?” I ask.

“Because the sacrifice must be of his own bloodline. It won't work with anyone else.” Weasely answers.

I open my mouth to speak, “That means the only way to save everyone from _my_ father is-”

“No!” Harry snaps, “I see where this is going. No!”

I turn in his lap to face him, “Yes, Harry. I know you love me and I love you which is why I have to do it.” I stand up and look at everyone. “The only way I can save you all is by killing myself.”

“And what about when Lucius, becomes the next dark lord? You can't protect us from the grave.” Ron protests.

I turn to my red lion again, “Harry, you defeated a dark lord before and I believe you can do it again.”

“But not on my own.”

“And you won't be alone. You have Granger and Weasley. And now you have Pansy and Blaise on your side.”

“But our team isn't complete without you, Draco.” Harry replies, close to tears.

“As much as I hate to admit it, Harry's right.” Ron agrees.

“There must be another way.” The boy-who-lived insists.

“But Moaning Myrtle and Sir Nicholas confirmed the only way for him to move on is to accomplish his unfinished business. And that business is to become the next dark lord... the only way that can happen is for me to die.” I say.

“Ain't it possible that they maybe haven't found any other way?” Ron suggests.

“Yes. I'm sure if I looked hard enough I could find another way.” Granger adds.

I nod, and think about that possibility, “Okay, what about this? I'll give you one week to find another way and if you haven't found one by then, I'm giving myself up. Deal?”

The trio share multiple looks. I can tell they don't want to agree, but what other choice do we have, “Deal.” They answer together.

 

**Snape POV**

 

I am in the middle of preparing a lesson plan, when I hear a desperate knock at my door, “You may enter.” I call to my visitor.

The door opens, revealing my Godson on the other side, “Severus, I have a plan.” He begins.

“Hello to you too, Draco.” I respond, bluntly.

“Yeah, whatever.” The blonde says, dismissively, “Lucius, cornered Weasley in the library.”

“Lucius, is back! And Weasley was in the library!” I'm honestly not sure which statement surprises me more.

“I know, and yes, he is back.”

I study the boy in front of me. I can almost hear the wheels turning in his head. I know the only way to free us all of Lucius, so I know what ever plan he has it will be at the cost of himself, “You can't give yourself up to him. You're still so young. Please, allow me be the one to do it.” I offer.

“Severus, you know as well as I do that won't work. His blood runs through my veins. It must be me.” Draco urges.

I nod sadly, knowing he's right, “I know.” I sigh, “What is your plan?”

The blonde tells me his plan in immense detail. The more he tells me the more my heart constricts with fear and mourning. I am so proud of the strong man, Draco has become. And I hate that he must bare all of this.

Unfortunately for me, once this is all over and Lucius has moved on, I will die. As soon as he is gone the connection with his ghost that is keeping me alive will go too. The only good thing that has come out of all this is that, I got to spend more time with my Godson.

I don't have the heart to tell what will become of me, “I don't know about this, Draco. There must be another way. What if something goes wrong?” I ask.

“I trust you. Nothing will go wrong. You are the only one I trust to make this concoction. It is the only way.” Draco answers.

“And if it doesn't work?”

“Then Harry, and his friends can take care of it. I know they can.” His confidence doesn't falter, not even for a second.

“Are you going to tell them your plan?” I think it's important to ask him as many questions as possible, so I know he won't decide to back out when it's too late. But I see only a longing in his grey eyes... a long to protect the ones he loves. He is proving to be a true heroin.

He shakes his blonde head at my question, “No. It's better they don't know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting close to the final battle. Only a couple more chapters left.  
> Thank you all so much for reading, and for your comments and kudos!  
> Until the next chapter ;)


	31. Impossible Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit Drarry love.  
> Enjoy =)

**Draco POV**

 

“Here it is. Just as you asked.” Snape says, handing me a vial, “Before you do this I am going to ask you one more time... Are you sure about this? The others may have found another way, if you would just talk to them.” His dark eyes urging me to not go through with it.

“No!” I argue, “If I talk to them, they'll somehow get the plan out of me and stop me from following it through.”

There is an evident frown on my God father's face, “What about, Potter? You should at least talk to him. You will regret it if you don't.”

I shake my head as a few silent tears creep down my face, “Harry, would definitely get it out of me! Then I'll never be able to save them... and you.” I see a hint of something in his dark eyes, something I can't quite place. Whatever it is, it unnerves me slightly, “I told you before, this is the _only_ way. I have to die, it's the only way for my father to move on.”

“And when he comes back from the dead, then what?” He questions.

“We've been over this, Severus. Harry, will kill him. For good this time.

Snape nods in response, as he begins to close the distance between us. He then throws his arms around me in a tight comforting hug, “I love you, my dear boy. I am so proud of you Draco, you have grown to be a strong and brave man.”

“I love you too, Severus. I would be proud to have you as a father.” I reply, pulling out of the embrace.

“I couldn't let you leave without knowing that.” Snape says, half smiling and half frowning.

I nod, smiling as I leave Snape's room.

 

I begin walking towards the Astronomy Tower. Snape's words are still fresh in my mind. I know he's right. If I don't at least speak to Harry, I will regret it. I instead take a detour to Gryffindor Tower. Lucius, can wait a little longer.

I step into the warm and welcoming common room, Harry is no where in sight. I go to check his dorm and again he's not there. As I go to walk back through the common room, I spot Granger, “Hey, Granger.” The Gryffindor girl turns to face me with a surprised smile on her own face.

“Draco, where the hell have you been?” She exclaims, throwing her arms around me.

_What is it with people a hugging me today?_ I think to myself.

She pushes me out of the hug a few seconds later, giving me a very serious expression, “You've been nowhere to be found and we've all been in the library trying to find a way to best help you!”

An intense wave of guilt washes over me, convincing me even further that what I have planned is the right thing to do. “I know, I'm sorry.” I sigh, staring at my feet.

“Hey.” Hermione softly speaks, “Draco, look at me.” I do as she tells me, “It's okay. We just worry about you is all. Have you been taking your potion when you're supposed to?”

“Where's Harry? I need to find him, it's important.” I ask, obviously avoiding her question.

I know she see it, but lets it slide regardless. “Last time I saw him he was heading for the dungeons looking for you.”

“Thanks.” I say, going to leave. I stop for a moment, “I never told you this Hermione, but I've always admired your courage and intelligence. Thanks for everything.” I continue for the door.

“Draco!” Granger calls after me. I once again turned to look at her, “Don't forget to take your potion.”

I roll my eyes, pushing my way out of Gryffindor. There's no point in taking it, not at this stage. After today it will all be over.

 

I soon get to Slytherin, going straight for my room. There lying on my bed is Harry, looking rather adorable with his glasses half of his sleeping. I allow a smug grin to make it's way across my lips as I gently climb on top of him pinning his wrists on either side of his head. “You know you're not supposed to sleep with your glasses on, Potter. That's how you break them.”

“Well excuse me, Malfoy. If you didn't take so long I would have been bored and fallen asleep in the first place.” The Gryffindor groggily responds.

He opens his eyes as I completely remove his glasses. I set them on the table beside the bed, placing gentle kiss on his lips.

 

**Harry POV**

 

I open my eyes to see Draco, on top of me. He removes my glasses and kisses me on the lips, “That's a nice way to be woken up. Even if I was enjoying my dream.” I say.

“I can tell.” The blonde chuckles. It's then I realise that my trousers are a little tight, causing me to blush with embarrassment. “Dreaming about me will do that to you.” Draco grins.

“Who says I was dreaming about _you_?” I tease, pushing the Slytherin off of me. I sit up, Draco sitting opposite me with a strange look in his eyes.

“I'm your sexy boyfriend, who else would you be having wet dreams about?” He answers.

“You do have a point there.” I say, leaning in to kiss him.

Draco, instantly melts into the kiss, wrapping his arms around my neck. I put my own arms around his waist pulling him closer. The blonde takes this as an opportunity to pin me down and roll over so that I'm on top of him. I run my tongue along the entrance of his mouth, seconds later he parts his lips. Our tongues meet and begin dancing between our mouths, the blonde happy to let mine lead.

He slides of my robes and slowly begins to unbutton my shirt, for it to be slid off also. I follow suit, taking off his tie and robes, I move my hands to unbutton his shirt, but he pushes my hands away and shakes his head, “I want to keep my shirt on.” He pleads.

I figure he wants to keep it on because he has new cuts that he doesn't want me to see. I know the potion he was prescribed at the hospital will make him worse for a little while, before he actually starts getting better.

I nod agreeing to the blonde's request. I know it would make him uncomfortable, something I don't want him to feel on top of everything else he is probably feeling.

He unbuttons my trousers, taking them off and leaving me in my boxers. I take his trousers off also. We manage to do all this without our lips parting for even a second. Draco, then starts to grind his hips against mine, causing a loud moan to escape my lips. I can feel he has a boner as well, as it rubs against my own.

“Draco... I... I think I'm gonna-”

“Don't you dare.” Draco warns, “Not yet, you poof.”

“I'll try.” I nod, slipping of his boxers and then my own. I then lean down, connecting our lips once again. Next the blonde slithers his hand down to my dick, slowly jerking it, while placing tender kisses on my chest. His touch alone causes me to bite down on my lower lip, “Are you trying to make me go early?”

Draco, raises an eyebrow, “Come on, you're a Gryffindor. You defeated the dark lord. Surely you are stronger than that, Harry.”

“This is my first time.” I explain.

“Don't worry, baby. I'll show you what to do.” The Slytherin winks.

“I took sex ed too you know. I know what to do.” I retort.

Draco, sits up on his elbows and whispers in my ear, “Prove it.”

The moment he says it, I pin him back down by his shoulders. My tongue instantly meets his. I allow some of our saliva to get on my fingers, to then put them in Draco's, hole to prep him.

“You are too kind. You don't need to prepare me. This isn't _my_ first time.” The blonde grins, darkly.

“Don't remind me. I don't know how you can speak so darkly like that, but I would never do what your father did. I don't want to fuck you. That's too vulgar, and you are much too beautiful and too precious for that. I want to make love to you, because I _love you_.” I say, kissing his neck. My kisses make their way down as far his collar bone. I soon stop my attention drawn to his pale hands beginning to unbutton his shirt. This concerns me slightly, “Are you sure?” I ask.

He nods, so I help him to take it off. Just as I had suspected there are several new cuts along both arms. “I love you too, Harry.” He says, avoiding eye contact with me.

However his eyes soon follow me as I gently kiss the cuts and scars on his arms, and wrists. I take a little more time kissing the scar from his suicide attempt. “I don't ever want to lose you, Draco. No matter what I will always be here for you. You don't ever have to fight alone.”

He shakes his blonde head, smiling weakly at me, “Silly Gryffindor. You can't save everyone.”

“I can and I will. We will all survive this, I promise.” I protest.

“Now Harry, don't go making promises you can't keep.” Draco smiles as a tears roll down his cheeks.

“But-” The blonde hushes me by placing a finger to my lips.

“Just shut up and make love to me already!” He orders.

Finding his authoritative tone to be rather hot, I spit into my hand to lubricate my dick so as to make it easier on Draco. I align myself, and lean my head closer to Draco's. “Are you ready?” I ask.

“Yes.” He answers. With his permission, I slowly push myself inside him. Consequently, the blonde lets out a loud, “Aaahh!”

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” I ask, fearfully.

He shakes his head, “No. It's just... different. It actually feels good.”

I smile at this, “I'm glad.” I say, mashing our lips together.

I slowly begin thrusting in and out of him, being as tender as I can. Draco pushes my lips off him to let out a whimper, “Faster, Harry... please.”

I nod and do as he asks. I soon feel myself getting very close, “Draco, I'm going to cum. Do you want me to pull out?”

“No, it's fine. I'm close too.” The Slytherin replies, “We'll do it together.”

“Okay.” I smile, thrusting harder. A few second later we both reach climax. The sensation causing my to collapse on, Draco.

I roll over to lie down beside him. The Slytherin lays his head on my chest, snuggling close. I wrap my arms around him, and kiss his blonde head.

“This is what I wanted our first time to be. Filled with love.” I voice.

“Me too. It could not have been more perfect. With you is the first time I haven't felt like shit after sex.” Draco replies.

I frown at his statement, “I know it's my first time, but I don't think you're supposed to feel that way after sex. I'm glad you feel good though, and it was perfect.”

Within minutes my eyes close as quickly fall asleep.

 

**Draco POV**

 

I very carefully slip out of Harry's arms. Which isn't too difficult given how heavy a sleeper he is. I quietly re-dress, checking my robe pocket to make sure the vial Snape gave me is still there. Happy that it's still there, I creep towards the door. Before I leave I look back at Harry, sleeping peacefully in the emerald sheets. I smile at his form, glad that I listened to Snape. “What a perfect way to say goodbye.” I whisper, before continuing out the door.

 

I look up the Astronomy Tower stair well. A million thoughts are running through my head right now and I can't seem to focus on one. I slowly ascend the stairs, ready for my demise. The further up I go, the more I get the feeling that I'm being followed. With a lack of evidence, I brush the feeling aside.

When I get to the top I stop at the edge and gaze at the stars in the midnight sky. It doesn't matter how many times I come up here, the view never ceases to amaze me. “Honestly, it's hard to see the future that's in store for me. I'm broken. Second guessing is all that's keeping me alive.” I think aloud. Reciting lyrics that seem to speak my current thoughts perfectly.

“You are so pathetic, Malfoy.” A malicious voice chuckles.

I turn to voice to see Goyle standing at the top of the stairs, with an all too pleased grin on his face. “Piss off, Goyle. I'm busy.” I retort.

“Dear, Draco. There is no need to be so rude.” Crabbe replies, taking a step beside Goyle.

“I think Draco here, needs to be taught a lesson. What'd ya say, Crabbe?”

“You are so right, Goyle. Should we mess up his face?”

“No, his face is much too pretty for that. How do you think we should punish you?” Goyle asks me.

“Go fuck yourself!” I spit.

“You'd like that wouldn't you, but... it would be much more fun to fuck you.” My eyes widen in fear and shock, “Now be a good boy Draco, and cooperate for daddy.” Goyle adds, slowly advancing on me.

“We know how much you love your dear daddy.” Crabbe viciously adds.

“ _AVADA KADAVRA!”_ A familiar voice screams, as a flash of green light shoots across the room and hits Goyle. He instantly falls to the ground, dead. I turn to the direction the spell came from to see my father's ghost

“ _AVADA KADAVRA!”_ He yells again, this time killing Crabbe.

I stare in horror at the lifeless bodies in front of me. My only thought is that none of this should have ever happened.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the kudos and for reading. I would love to hear more of what my beautiful readers think.
> 
> Until the next chaper ;)


	32. The Final Battle

**Harry POV**

 

_What a perfect way to say goodbye._

“What are you talking about, Draco? No one is going anywhere.” I mumble, not realising my eyes are still closed. I smile and slowly open my eyes expecting to see Draco laying beside me. When my eyes open, I see that the Slytherin is not in the bed. I instantly panic and run for the bathroom fearing the worst. I breath a sigh of relief when I find it empty. However that anxiety soon returns when I realise I have no idea where he is. I go to grab the marauders map, but I soon remember I'm in the Slytherin dormitories and I have a feeling I don't have time to stop by Gryffindor.

I run out of Slytherin hoping that my legs will somehow know where to go. I don't look where I'm going and so I evidently bang into someone. “S-sorry I...” I instantly recognise the bushy haired Gryffindor girl. “Hermione. Sorry about bumping into you, I wasn't looking where I was going.” I apologize, quickly. Eager to get moving again.

“Obviously.” She answers, rolling her eyes at me, “Before you go running off again, I need to ask you something important.”

I hesitantly agree, “Fine, but please be quick.”

“Have you seen Draco... recently?”

My eyes widen at her question. “You're looking for him too?”

“Well not exactly. I saw him earlier in our common room. He was desperate to find you and...” She paused as though she was trying to figure how to describe what she was thinking. I'm worried. That never happens to, Hermione.

“And what? What happened?”

“He seemed off. Everything about the whole encounter made me concerned. He most certainly wasn't himself, and he hasn't been taking his potion. Then he told me he had always admired my intelligence and courage... It was almost like he was saying goodbye. Did he find you?”

A deep blush makes it's way across my cheeks, “Eh yeah, he definitely found me.”

“Wait, why are you going red all of a sudden? Did something happen?” Hermione grins, raising an eyebrow.

“We kinda did _it_.”

“How was it?”

“Wh-what!” I stutter, my blush deepening.

“I don't want the dirty details. I just want to know how you found it.” She giggles.

I don't even hesitate to answer, “It was perfect. It wasn't awkward or forced. I didn't have a clue what to do, so Draco lead. It felt right.” Hermione just smiled at my answer. “What? Why are you smiling at me like that?” I ask awkwardly.

“Nothing. I'm just really happy that he makes you that happy.”

I suddenly remember hearing Draco whisper that it was perfect way to say goodbye. I can't stop the frown from showing.

“Harry, what's wrong?” Hermione asks, her voice full of concern.

“After we finished I fell asleep right away. Draco was gone when I woke up, but before I did I heard him whisper about how it was a perfect way to say goodbye. We need to find him! I'm afraid he might be planning to give himself up to, Lucius.”

Mione simply nods in agreement and follows me as I lead the way to the Astronomy Tower. I don't know how, but I have a feeling that's where he is.

 

 

 

 

 

**Draco POV**

 

“You didn't have to kill them!” I screamed, still staring at Crabbe and Goyle's bodies.

“My dear boy, I couldn't allow them to put their filthy hands on _my_ property.” Father sings, with a possessive look in his eyes.

I turn away from the corpses and face my father, “I am not your property!” I retort. He gives me an unnerving smile, lifting his ghostly cold hand to stroke the side of my cheek. I try to bat his hand away, but my hand just goes right through his. The moment his hand touches my cheek, I flinch. I jump back from him and point my wand at him.

Suddenly the ghost roars with laughter, that sends a chill up my spine. “You can't hurt me, stupid boy. I'm already dead.”

“It doesn't mean I can't go down without a fight.”

“Aww, but I need you to die willingly.”

“Draco!” A pair of all too familiar voices call from the stair case. I should have known Harry, would come running. And he just had to bring, Granger. That's why I put up a spell to make sure he couldn't get in and interfere. The spell only keeps out Harry and the rest of our group. If I had known Crabbe and Goyle were going to show up I would have put a better spell up. I really didn't think this through.

“Draco! You don't have to do this alone! Please, Draco! Take down this wall, damn it!” Harry shouts, banging on the invisible wall. I see Hermione, trying multiple spells to bring down the wall, but it won't work. I put the wall in place with her in mind. It wasn't easy to find one that even Hermione Granger, can't brake through.

“My dear boy, don't be so rude. Can't you see you have guests?” Lucius grins.

“Leave them out of this! This is between you and I.” I retort.

“Draco!” Harry continues to shout.

“Fuck up, Harry and stay out of this!” I scream back.

The Gryffindor abruptly stops banging and shouting. I turn my head to look at him. His face looks shocked and hurt. I internally kick myself for making him feel that way. “No.” Potter's voice snaps me out of mentally kicking the crap out of myself. “No! You don't to make that call! And you certainly don't get to sleep with me and then leave!” He yells, tears beginning to form in his green eyes.

My own eyes widen at his out burst and I quickly turn my head to face, Lucius. He says a spell I don't recognise the moment he does black flames appear at the base of the wall between us and the Gryffindors. The black flames flare up the length of the of my wall. Seconds later the flames extinguish themselves. Harry puts out a hand to check if the wall is still there, but it's gone. The Gryffindors step through.

“AAAAHHH!” I roar, jumping in front of them. I begin shooting random spells at the ghost before me, but he deflects them all. “I told you to leave them out of this!”

“Don't be so impolite, Draco. Aren't you going to introduce your dear father to your _lover_?” Lucius asks. He is way to calm about this. I don't like it. Suddenly an enchanted rope appears and wraps itself around Hermione's waist, tying her to the banister by the stairs. Harry and I continue throwing spells at him, but he's too fast. Another rope flies in and restrains Harry's arms behind his back. A spell hits him and he hits the floor. I go to check if he is okay, but the black flames from before surround me, keeping me from reaching him. Suddenly my legs give way as I feel my magical energy being drained. My father's ghostly form slowly becomes solid.

You see ghosts can feed of natural energy like electricity to solidify. Magical energy is better because the effects last longer, however it greatly weakens the witch or wizard it's feeding off.

Pushing on my hands and knees, I try to get back on my feet, but it's no use. I'm too weak.

The flames vanish and I can see a very real Lucius, circling Harry's restrained body. “Now, now, now. What should I do with _the boy who lived_?” He asked himself aloud. “I know.” He smiles, snapping his fingers, “How about I have the same fun with him that I did with you, Draco. You know... the show we put on for _Voldemort_.”

“You bastard! Don't fucking touch him!” I spit. My anger just encourages him further. He advances on my Red Lion and begins to unbutton his shirt. I can't let this happen! Not now, not ever. “Father, please! Don't do it. You can do whatever you want to me, but not to him.” I beg.

My pleas are met with an insane roar of laughter, “I don't want you. Your already tainted beyond the point of no return. I want a taste of new blood.” Lucius replies, licking his lips. He turns back to Harry, and runs his tongue along his chest. He works his way up to his collar bone and bites down, sinking his teeth into him. The raven haired boy screams out in pain.

The sound of his cries fuel me with enough adrenaline from my anger to stand up. “STOP IT!” I yell, pulling the vial out of my robe. He steps away from, Harry and looks at me. “This is what you really want, isn't it?” I say, popping off the lid. “The contents of this vial will kill me.”

“Draco, no.” Harry pleads weakly, “It's okay, he can do whatever he wants to-”

I cut him off, “No! You are the only one who can defeat him. You can't do that if your left living in my nightmare. You know it's the only way.” I flash him a very real smile, “Don't forget Harry, you made my life happier and I love you for that. And apologise to Pansy and Blaise for me, would ya.”

“You don't get to-” Before the Gryffindor boy can finish, I down the liquid. I instantly collapse, fighting consciousness. Right before the darkness takes me I feel strong, familiar arms wrap around me. I know the arms belong to someone who really loves. Where better to die than in the arms of someone who loves you.

 

**Snape POV**

 

I look up at the clock in my office. It's almost 12 am. I should head for the Astronomy Tower and get Draco, before... ugh. I can't think about that right now. I grab my want and start running through the school.

When I reach my destination, I can't the scene in front of me. I should have gotten here sooner. “Professor Snape.” I hear Granger say. I raise a finger to lips, gesturing for her to stay quiet. She nods, as I utter a spell to untie her.

I snap my head to Draco's voice. He's saying something, but I don't hear it. He downs the vial I gave him and collapses. Just before he hits the floor, I catch him in my arms and I hold hold him close. He looks so peaceful. My attention is stolen by a bright light radiating from Lucius. I kiss the blonde boy's forehead and gently lay him down.

“I win!” Lucius laughs manically. I ignore him and move to free Potter. I notice a very painful looking bite on his collar bone. I have no doubt it's the work of the maniac in front of us. I use a cleaning spell on the wound and then I turn back to Lucius.

“Your nothing but a fool, Lucius. Did you really think I would let you get away with all of this?” I tell. A black hole begins to open in the floor in front of the evil ghost.

“What! What are you doing, Severus?” He demands. He almost sounds... scared.

“I'm sending you back to hell where you belong!” I answer back. Within minutes the hole sucks Lucius in, and everything returns to normal.

“Draco!” I hear, Harry cry. I turn around to see him rocking the blonde in his arms. Hermione is sitting right by their side.

I walk over to them and crouch down. “There's no need to cry, Potter. He will wake up in about an hour or so.”

The raven haired boy looks up at me a confused look painted across his tear tracked face. “But wasn't that vial poison?”

I shake my head. “It was a potion that makes the drinker show all the symptoms of death, but merely puts them to sleep. I knew Lucius only needed to _think_ Draco was dead to believe he had completed his unfinished business, which opened to door for him to move on. Because he didn't have a real sacrifice he couldn't resurrect himself, and so was forced into eternal darkness for his crimes. He won't ever return.”

“That's good.” The Gryffindors nod in unison.

Without warning am agonising pain shoots through my neck causing me to fall to the floor. “It's happening.” I hiss through the pain.

“What's happening? Professor, what's wrong?” Potter asks, with growing concern.

Damn it! I though they wouldn't hear me. I look at Granger, who is staring back at me with sad eyes. I have no doubt she has already figured it out.

Potter's concerned green eyes widen as a familiar wound appears on my neck and I begin to bleed out. “Hermione, do something!” He cries.

The Gryffindor girl places a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder, “Harry, I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. You see...” She pauses and look to me for approval. I nod and she continues, “You see when Lucius possessed Snape's body all of his wounds healed themselves up because of that merge. However, now that Lucius is no longer in this world there is nothing keeping his body alive. The fatal wounds must return for him to die the way he was meant to.”

“The way he was meant to die... Mione!.. how can you say something so horrible.” Harry argues.

“No... Potter... she's right. I was... always meant... to die this... way.” I barely manage to say. My breathing is a lot more difficult, making it very hard for me to speak.

“You can't die. Not now. You and Draco only started to rebuild your relationship, and... and I finally started to get to know the great man my mother knew and loved.” The boy-who-lived was really blubbering now. It's a sight I'd never though I'd see. Lily's boy crying over me.

It takes all of my energy, but I sit up and wrap my arms around the crying mess and my Godson who is still passed out in arms. “Please... take care of Draco.” I ask, knowing he will.

“We will, Sir. I promise.” Potter replies. I glance at Granger, beside him. She simply nods in agreement. My eyes follow the familiar green ones staring down at the sleeping blonde in his arms. “He is going to be devastated when he wakes up.” He states.

“As long as he... has you... I know... he will be... okay.” With that I lay down. A peaceful smile on my face. I am finally ready for death to take me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all over. We are finally at the end. The last chapter... or is it?
> 
> I want to thank all of you guys so much for following this story and for all the kudos! You guys are the greatest!
> 
> Until next time ;)


	33. The Twist

**Draco POV**

 

I can here whispering. There is two voices, I recognise them both. I know them very well. But I can't bring myself to open my eyes, so I just listen to their conversation.

“Why would he do something so stupid?” I hear Snape ask.

“I don't know. I wish I did. I wish he could have known how much we care for him.” Harry responds.

“How did I let him get this bad. Why couldn't I see that his behaviour was off.”

“Don't blame yourself, Professor. I'm his boyfriend and he did this on my watch.” For a moment there was silence. “I can see it in your eyes, you blame me too.”

“No I-”

“Don't you dare lie to me! It's my fault and you hate for it! You want to hit me for it, right? Go ahead!” The Gryffindor's voice breaks, choking on sobs. “Hit me. I deserve it.”

“Don't be ridiculous, I'm not going to hit you. Yes, I agree this is partly your fault. But I am too. I'm his guardian. Now stop with the damn blame game!” Snape retorted. “That is not what he is going to need to get better.”

Harry lets out a sigh. “You're right. Although this is something I have considered, I've never actually attempted. I can only imagine how hopeless he must have felt.”

“I have...”

“After my mother died?” The Gryffindor's voice is full of empathy.

“Yes. It was a difficult time and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't see sense.”

“I understand that. A while before I came to Hogwarts I thought about it. And a couple times at Hogwarts. Between Draco making my life hell here, Dudley and Vernan making life hard in London, and being the saviour of the wizarding world. All that pressure messes with a persons head. The closest I came to it was actually right after I killed Voldemort. I seemed as though the purpose for my whole existence was fulfilled. I didn't see much point in living, but then I thought of Rona and Hermione. That's what stopped me.” Harry explains.

I can feel a hand holding mine, but I can't get passed what he said. I am part of the reason he felt that shit. I know that's what I wanted at the time, but I never intended for it to go that far. I guess most bullies never do intend for it to go that far... before it's too late.

“If he wakes up... _when_ he wakes up. We need to ask him why, I need to know why.” Snape says, sounding desperate.

“I understand that- I want to know too, but... we can't.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because _when_ he wakes up, he will be feeling pretty vulnerable. If this is something you have done, then you more than anyone can understand how he will be feeling.” Harry argues.

Severus sighs, “You're right. He will be feeling rather emotional an fragile when he wakes up. We will refrain from questions now, but in a few days when he is feeling better we'll talk to him about it.”

“Agreed.”

I take that as my cue to wake up.

I slowly and painfully open my eyes. They feel as heavy as led and seem intent on working against my, but I need to open them. I need to explain and I need to find out what happened after I passed out. My biggest question is- Why am I still alive? That potion was supposed to kill me and since I didn't die, is Lucius still a threat?

My eyes are finally open, I turn my head to the left and the first person I see is my favourite Gryffindor. “Draco! You're awake!” He exclaims.

I turn to Snape who is standing at the foot of my bed, a faint smile paints his lips. Most likely an attempt to comfort me.

“Uh... I... um... so...r...y...” I try to speak. My throat is unbelievably sore and dry, and I can already feel my emotions getting the better of me.

Severus rushes to my side, taking hold of my hand and sitting on the edge of my bed. “Don't try to talk, Draco. Relax and don't you dare apologise. It's not your fault, the fault is mine for not realising that your mind was unwell.”

I want to ask for water to help my throat, but as I can't right now I point to my throat. “Do you want some water?” Harry asks. I nod my head and he helps me to sit up and take a drink from the glass that was on the night stand. “Better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” I smile. I turn to Snape, “It's not your fault. It was the only way to protect you all from Lucius.”

The pair shared a confused glance and then turn to me with the same look. “Draco? What are you talking about?” Harry asks.

“What could your bastard father possibly have to do with this!?” Severus snaps.

“Oh I don't know maybe because his ghost is possessing you so that he can sacrifice me and become the next dark lord.” I say.

Harry looks utterly dumbfounded and Severus stands as though he is looking for someone. “Where is Madam Pomfrey?”

“Why?” I ask.

“I want to know what kind of potions she's been giving you.”

“But... uh... none of that happened?” I couldn't help but feel crazy. Was none of that real? Was it all just a dream? If so then why isn't Snape dead? Why is Harry by my bedside? If none of it was real then we never dated- I think. I need answers.

“No, Draco. Lucius died in the war, so your safe.” Harry assures me, while rubbing my back to keep me calm.

“Okay? So how are you alive?” I ask Snape.

He looks a little hurt by my question, but answers it any way, “In the war after Voldemort left for Potter, I was as good as dead.” I nod to let him know I understand. “When I went unconscious I thought I was dead. A month later I woke up in St. Mungo's. When I was discharged I just wanted to get right back here at Hogwart's. McGonagall tried to discourage it, but I insisted.”

“Ca... can I see your neck?” I bravely ask. I need proof that he wasn't possessed. Snape nods and pulls down his collar. There is it. My proof that it was all a dream. On his neck was a mess of red scars from when Voldemort's snake attacked him.

I can't believe it was all a dream. Don't get me wrong it is a relief, but it all seemed so real. However, Harry is here... so maybe some parts were real? But what parts?

“Draco! What the hell do you think you're playing at!?” A familiar voice yells. Before I know it, Pansy comes into view, but she doesn't come straight for my bed like I expected. Instead she grabs a pillow from another bed... _then_ she darts for me. The seconds she is at arms length she begins batting me with the pillow. “What the fuck were you thing thinking?” _Hit_. “You stupid bastard!” _Hit_. “You don't get to leave yet!” _Hit_. “Especially...” _Hit_. “Without saying...” _Hit_. _Hit_. “Goodbye.” _Hit_. “Shit head!” _Hit_. _Hit_. _Hit_.

Harry and Snape don't even attempt to stop her. My guess is they are either afraid of her or are finding this way too amusing. “Pansy! Stop!” I beg. “I'm sorry, I really didn't mean for this.”

She finally stops hitting me with the pillow. “Then explain to me why!” Pansy demands, crossing her arms and staring me down.

“It's hard to explain. My sense of reality seems to be fucked up.” I try to explain. Unfortunately for me she doesn't look the least bit pleased with that explanation. So I have another go at explaining. “I don't really know what's real and what's not any more. When I did it, I honestly thought I was protecting everyone. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense. This is the only way I can explain it properly.” I begin telling them about everything that happened in the dream. And they were able to help me work out what really happened and what didn't. For example, mine and Harry's argument on top of the Astronomy Tower. Where he revealed that he had seen the meetings I attended with my father and Voldemort. Fortunately or unfortunately Crabbe and Goyle aren't dead. And there is going to be a Hogs-Prom, but that's at the end of the school year instead of before Christmas.

 

A few days later I was discharged from the hospital wing and just like last time, Madam Pomfrey said she didn't want to see me back for something like this again. However this time I knew I wouldn't be. In the dream I felt trapped, that there was no other way to be free from my father. It's a lot like how I felt growing up. That's why I bullied other kids when I younger. It was partly in hopes of making my father proud of me, but I was mainly taking my own pain out on them. Which I now know was wrong, but at the time I didn't give a fuck.

I'm not trapped any more, and as a result my head isn't as loud and my world isn't so dark. I can actually see colour and I no longer have to fake a smile.

 

Classes went on as normal, Harry and I would sneak into each others dorms at night, Snape always kept a close eye on me even though I haven't hurt myself in six months. Yes, that's right! I'm six months clean!

I've also been doing really well in my classes. I want to be an auror so that I can help bring wizards like my father and Voldemort to justice. I don't want to see people suffer like I have or how I have inflicted suffering on others. Never again.

I can't change the things I've done and I will always hold a little hatred towards myself for my sins. All I can do is move on and be the best person I can. I'm blessed that I don't have to go through shit alone. I have people that love me, even if I don't deserve it or can't love myself. They are the reason I strive to be my best. I know I can never repay them, but I am certainly going to try.

 

I am now getting ready for my second chance at Hogs-Prom, and I intend for it to go nothing like the first time. I'm wearing a simple black suit with an emerald green tie. Once I'm satisfied with how I look I meet Pansy and Blaise in our common room. We then go to Gryffindor Tower to wait for the others. Harry is last to come out. “Are you serious? The girls were ready faster than you.” I moan at him.

“I'm taking a Malfoy to prom- I can hardly go looking scruffy, can I?” Harry argues.

I look him up and down, scanning every inch of him. He went with a similar style to me. A black suit with a Gryffindor red tie. However there was one things that stood out on him. “What about this mess?” I laugh, ruffling his already messy black hair.

“Stop it, Draco! You're making it worse.” Harry whines.

“I don't think that's possible.” I say, with a smirk.

“It's not my fault. It just didn't want to cooperate today.”

“So what's your excuse for every other day of your life?” I challenged, which earned me a glare. “Chill out, Potter. Let's go or there will be no cake left.” I grab the Gryffindor's hand and drag him to the Great Hall, leaving the others in the dust.

I got my cake and the others finally caught up. We all had a ton of fun dancing, drinking punch and winding up Ron. I really would never forget tonight and it replaced every bad feeling I had from the dream. Unfortunately Crabbe and Goyle did try to cause something of a scene, but a punch in the face from Pansy soon shut them down.

When it was all over Harry and I went up to the Astronomy Tower to watch the stars. We didn't do _anything_. We just cuddled and fell asleep.

The next morning we got an earful from McGonagall, but it was worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cannot believe this is finished! I have loved writing this and I love you guys even more. This last chapter is my Christmas present to you all.  
> If you get the chance please check out When Angels Fall, there will be a new chapter for it out after Christmas, hopefully before the new year.  
> Thank you guys again so much for reading.  
> Until the next story ;)


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